I Only Want You (18+)

(CENSORED)
[sequel to head over heels]
Adrian has left her previous relationship with Justin after she finds out that another girl is the mother of his child. After walking out on him at the wedding, months later Justin decides he wants to rekindle their relationship to give it another try.

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3. Paranoia.

       When I got home I was happy seeing Justin in that store; maybe faith was telling me that it's not over between us, we can still make this work out somehow and some way. I put the things away texting Rhett. "Hey, have you made it yet? I miss you already." I took a deep breath finishing to put up groceries heading over to Justin's house. Before I entered I took my wedding ring off sliding it into my back pocket, I took a deep breath ringing the doorbell. I forgot that he was on crutches and I remembered still having a key to his place. I unlocked the door, smelling food cooking in the kitchen. I smiled soon as I walked into the kitchen holding a pack of beer. He smiles back at me grabbing it.

 

 

"Thanks, you really didn't have to, I have a closet full of booze."

 

 

 

"Well, I insisted since I am the guest. Need any help, I'm sure you do since you’re on crutches."

 

 

 

"Nah, I got it. I can manage."

 

 

 

"How did you end up falling down the stairs anyway" I asked.

 

 

 

"Funny story, the super bowl was on so. I took a little break to go piss. I overheard it come back on from upstairs, it was my favorite team, and I kinda got too excited and fell down the stairs...it's pretty funny if you think about it. I thought it was on, but it was just a damn commercial" He says, I chuckled a little. He still makes me laugh even when he doesn't try to. I was so hoping that he wasn't in the dating stage now that we've split up, and trying to be friends again. I don't think that would work...us being friends and all because somehow we still want each other. He chuckled a little starting back to cook, the least I could do was set up the table and fix the bowl of salad. "I know it's weird having you here. I know it's weird seeing each other like this. I just-- I couldn't deal the fact bringing a whole bunch of shit into your life with Caroline and the little girl, you didn't need that, and I apologize. I just didn’t want to wait until we were married to tell you."

 

 

 

"It's okay. I understand. I didn't want us to end honestly, and I know you didn't either. I couldn't be on the sidelines watching you with another girls baby."

 

 

 

"I figured that. That's why I decided to cancel everything. I couldn't bare the thought of me putting you through any of that. I had to get better."

 

 

 

"I know. We did the right thing" I said with a smile, he smiled too sitting at the table with me. We ate, joked, and told each other what we remembered when we were dating. I would think it's very unhealthy to talk about the good times with an ex, it makes me think that you're regretting breaking up with them or living without them, but Justin's different.

 

 

 

"How was the spaghetti," He asks changing the subject.

 

 

 

"Amazing as always. Thanks for inviting me to dinner, I didn't want to be at home by myself. Kathy is away for a couple of days along with Drew it's just hard for me."

 

 

 

"Did she have her baby?" He asks.

 

 

 

"No. She kinda lost it...y'know she loved to drink, and she stopped once the doctor told her to, and he didn't make it. It was going to be a boy. Drew was devastated after he heard the news. I guess we have a thing for not having babies" I joked.

 

 

 

"Don't say that. You're still young don't rush it, I'm sure you'll figure things out" He said taking a sip of his beer trying to put a smile on my face. I knew exactly what he was doing, he wanted to feel bad for me but couldn't because he knows it's not going to happen. The thing is I want us to figure it out with each other, but I'm afraid to. Maybe I should stop that, I regret waiting months to confess my love for Justin, and it was a waste of time. He was just so good to me. Once Justin and I finished eating, we moved ourselves to the couch drinking bottles of beer watching tv.

 

 

 

"So the dating life. Any luck" I asked. He laughs.

 

 

 

"It sucks. I haven't had time for that yet. Don't want to keep having sex with the same old girls over and over. Plus I can't risk getting a strange girl pregnant..they all want money. It wasn't like that with you but the others..they all wanted something from me. And I was stupid enough to fall for it."

 

 

 

"Then stop doing it. The right one will come, Justin, you'll have to give it time, stop being selfish and get back out there" I said.

 

 

 

"I don't know about that. Maybe I enjoy the single life. What about you? I'm sure guys have been all over you."

 

 

 

"Um...I'm-- I'm single y'know dating isn't for everyone right."

 

 

 

"Adrian come on..you can tell me I'm not going to get jealous or anything."

 

 

 

"No seriously, I'm single. I just needed a break too I guess" I said. I think we were both drunk as hell by now..barely knew what we were saying to each other. It was getting awkward. My thoughts got interrupted by a phone call from Rhett. "I'll be back," I said sitting my glass down going upstairs into the bathroom.

 

 

 

"Hey, baby how are you," I asked closing the bathroom door behind me.

 

 

 

"I'm good. I just made it, I read your text, and I miss you too. What are you doing."

 

 

 

"I'm at a friends eating dinner. Are you checking into the hotel."

 

 

 

"Yeah. I wish you were with me; I could bring you with me one day. Let you see the ropes on how your husband puts money on the table" He chuckles.

 

 

 

"That'll be amazing. You do know I was trying to be an accountant right."

 

 

 

"Yes, I still remember that. I offered you a position in Miami babe. But it's your decision, I don't want you to work, but I can't stop you. But it'll be nice to have you."

 

 

 

"I'm sure. Banging my boss right," I laughed.

 

 

 

"It's not that bad if you think about it. I like the whole dirty boss having sex with his employee thing. You know how I am. But I really do miss you; I cant stop thinking about sex, these couple of weeks away from you."

 

 

 

"Yeah me either. I wish I were there, but I don't want to be a pest and distract you from work."

 

 

 

"That's very true. I don't want you to feel lonely or anything."

 

 

 

"No, it's okay. I'll find something that'll keep me busy" I chuckled. I could tell he was smiling on the other end of the phone. I knew he wanted to talk to me all day and all night, but he had to go for a long day of work tomorrow morning. I got off the phone with him going downstairs sitting next to Justin. "Sorry, it took so long. How are you and your brother Jason" I asked?

 

 

 

"No one knows about Patricia's disappearance. He got arrested a couple of months ago; he wasn't a big fan of her either. Did you like her."

 

 

 

"I mean she was your mom. She fucked you over and tried to do the same to me. She honestly didn't like me...she killed my daughter. And no one fucks with my family..that goes for anybody" I said.

 

 

 

"Yeah, same goes for me. you're still family to me. You can always tell me if some asshole is mistreating you. I would love to beat someone’s ass again over you. Maybe it's your lack of dating skills" He says, I scoffed and softly punched his arm.

 

 

 

"That's so not true, and I dated you remember."

 

 

 

"Yeah, I know that. It is true. Remember Jason..abusive as hell. And Drew was just an asshole."

 

 

 

"He was a nice asshole. He was sweet and nice to me. You're the one that was jealous of him" I said.

 

 

 

"I was never jealous of him. I knew I would get you one way or another"

 

 

 

"By getting me pregnant."

 

 

 

"Well, that was a start, right? I'm sorry about that too; I don't regret Adriana. I love her. Even if she's not here today" He says with a small smile. I smiled too. Adriana isn't the only good thing that happened between us..it was more than that with him. He loved to protect and look after me as if I were still his; he wasn't like the other guys I've dated before. He's caring, protective, smart, and hella good in bed.

 

When I left Justin’s place, he texted me telling me he had a great time and that we should have dinner again. I honestly didn’t know what the fuck I was doing with myself. Keeping secrets from Justin knowing he’s my first love. I thought about different scenarios inside my head. What if we were still together? What if Adriana was still here? What if I didn’t make it in that hospital bed? There are so many what ifs I could go on and on about this shit. I never talked to Justin about what if this and that happened; it’s just wishes that you want to come true knowing it’s not gonna happen in the long run. I’m married, and I’m not for sure why I did it. Maybe it’s because he hurt me so much telling me that he had a fucking kid by Caroline on our wedding day, embarrassing me in front of our friends and family. I’m here in this big empty house not knowing what to do now. I didn’t want to be a pest and go back over to Justin’s. He may think that I’m trying to have sex or talk about the good times we’ve had, pouring myself out to him so that we can feel bad about each other and comfort one another. I sat on the sink pouring me a glass of wine still thinking. When I started thinking, everything started to hit me. Everything I’ve been through with this boy and I was dumb enough to speak first at the store. A couple of tears fell from my cheek, and I dropped the glass onto the floor having it splatter everywhere. I moved my eyes to my wedding ring just staring at it. I took a deep breath cleaning my face as my phone vibrated on the marble counters. It was Justin again. God what is wrong with me, why me? I questioned myself. I hate having to choose which one is better for me. I haven’t texted Justin back in at least two days after I went over to his place. I was bored as hell with nothing to do but talk to my husband when he has free time. I opened Justin’s message back up saying “Wanna go out for dinner” I bit the corner of my lip starting to type. “Definitely..where” I sighed deleting it responding. “Promise me we’ll have a good time. Are you driving?” I smiled as I sent it. I saw he was texting back which made me smile even wider. “Of course, I know I'm not supposed to, but I am. I promise we’ll have a good time” He says. “Pick you up at 7,” He says sending another text. I smiled to myself going upstairs to pick something out for dinner. Perfect! The perfect white dress. When it was time to go to dinner. I took a shower, did my hair and makeup getting dressed. Soon as the doorbell rung I quickly went downstairs fixing my dress and hair before I opened the door taking a deep breath.

 

“Damn, you look...amazing,” He says. I giggled grabbing my purse. Once Justin and I left to go out to dinner, I noticed the restaurant Spago, where Rhett and I had dinner multiple times, I started to have a bad feeling about this, what if the waitress finds me with the famous Justin Bieber, what if paparazzi take pictures, and ends up leaking everywhere that Rhett can see them on the internet. Everything was going through my mind right now. We pulled up to the valet it starting to pour down raining. He tosses the keys to the person opening the door for me.

 

“Everything okay,” He asks. I put on a fake smile nodding my head grabbing his hand. Once we got inside my heart started racing, I felt as if I would fall onto the floor. We took our seats in the booth as the waiter handed us our menus. “Are you okay, you seem a little nervous..which I understand because I'm nervous too..you alright.”

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine never better,” I said. I looked under the table and realized that I still had my ring on, I’m surprised Justin didn’t notice it. As I slid it off and put it in my purse, I picked up my menu and looked in it.

 

“Hi, I’m Melanie your waitress for tonight, what would you like to drink,” She says pulling out a pen and her little notebook from her apron pocket. As Justin ordered and what he wanted to drink I was in my own small world not knowing what was going on.

 

“Adrian,” Justin says which snapped me back into reality.

 

“Oh sorry I’ll have what he’s having,” I said handing her my menu. As she wrote it down, she gave me a little smile walking off.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay. You seem a little off.”

 

“Yeah, um will there be paparazzi,” I asked.

 

“I hope not. Why? What’s this about not wanting to be seen with me just yet? I completely understand if you don’t want to. What you have a secret boyfriend I don’t know about or something” He laughed. I laughed too but in a sarcastic way.

 

“No, it’s none of that.”

 

“Hey, don’t be so paranoid alright, tonight is our night, and I’m not gonna let anyone ruin it,” He says kissing my hand. I started to blush. He makes everything in my life so much better even when I’m going through shit. His smile makes me smile; I wonder why everything went so wrong between us. Oh yeah, Caroline. My phone started to vibrate; I took my hand from him looking into my purse seeing Rhett on the caller ID.

“Are you gonna get that?” He asked waiting for me to answer. I looked at my phone and back up at him and smiled.

 

“No, it’s not important,” I said pushing the lock screen turning it off. “No crutches tonight,” I asked.

 

“No. I just put on a brace, doesn’t hurt that bad I’m still getting around without them. Look, I want to make up for the time we’ve wasted arguing and getting into shit with each other. I want to make things right.”

 

“I know, I just don’t want to move too fast. I think that’s where we went wrong in the first place. We started off by friends with benefits to parents less than two weeks. I want to go slow...take baby steps. Don’t you think” I asked?

 

“Yeah. I know where you’re coming from, I completely understand. I just want you to know that I still love you. My feelings about you will never go away, no matter how many girls I’ve fucked or how many relationships I get into. I will find a way to get back to you, no matter how bad the situation is between us” He says, I smile and kiss his cheek.

 

“Thanks for understanding. Things ended badly.”

 

“It’s not my baby Adrian. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. I knew at the last minute, and I didn’t want us to get married, and then I tell you that Caroline was pregnant. I prayed and prayed that that little girl wasn’t mine. She isn’t; I got a blood sample a few weeks back. Came out negative, I just wish that we didn’t have to call off the wedding because of that.”

 

“We weren’t together at the time. But you should’ve known that if you still had feelings for me knowing we would have a chance to be together again, you wouldn’t have done it”

 

“I know. I fucked up badly, and I’m making up for it. Can you forgive me” He asks, I took a deep breath nodding. Forgiving someone can be a bitch, even if they hurt you deeply and knowing you have to forgive them is the bad part. I’m happy that it’s not Justin’s daughter, I would’ve actually felt jealous, because I would’ve been the third wheel while Justin, Caroline, and their daughter looks like a happy family while I’m there standing there, watching knowing I can’t be the girl to give him any babies at the moment, because of my fucked up decision getting rid of Jason’s baby. Everything’s so screwed.

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