Charming

Charlie and Amelia were happy.
Until he left her... only to return four years later.

Will she stay with her boyfriend?
Or go back to her Prince Charming?

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5. • Three •

Songs for this chapter:
- Gravity | Sara Bareilles
- If Only | Dove Cameron
- Love Song | Sara Bareilles
- All Night | The Vamps & Matoma 

 

Chapter Three. 

 

If someone, five days ago, had told me that I was going to wake up, go to work and after four years, see Charlie again, I would've either laughed them in their face or punched them. Preferably the latter.

But since that day, my mood just feels drained, and I have no idea what I'm doing half of the time. I just feel really conflicted. Part of me wants to pack my bags, say my goodbyes to Dylan and run into the warm embrace of Charlie. Then there's the other part - the rational part if you may. The part that wants Charlie to pack his bags and just get the hell out of my face.

Though I know that it should be the other part that should be dominant, it's not. At the moment, I'm standing in front of my closet, thinking about whether I should take my duffel bag out and just disappear, but then again, I don't want to pull a Charlie. But damn, am I ready to just leap.

I just...- I thought that I had finally moved on from him. I thought that I was finally ready to live a life without constantly being reminded of my time with Charlie. I mean, you would think that after four years, you would be over someone, right? Well, apparently, I'm not.

I sigh and turn around, facing Dylan who has his face buried in his pillow, with the duvet wrapped around his naked torso. I smile and listen to the small snores that leave his parted lips and quickly kiss his cheek, before walking out and into the kitchen, where I pour the last of my coffee out the drain and with my coat and scarf on, walk out the door.

The cold air outside is refreshing in contrast to the enclosed air that I feel like has been surrounding me for the past four days. I take a deep breath in and bury my hands deeper in the pockets of my coat.

The walk to the café isn't long, but it's long enough for my fingers to get frozen, and causing my nose to drip. My hands are shaking as I step into the warmth and find Sam standing with a coffee mug between his hands and a smile on his face as he spots me.

"Hey, Sammy. How's it going?" I smile and shrug my coat off. Sam holds out a mug of hot chocolate for me, and with a grateful smile, I take it and blow some of the steam away and take a sip of it.

"It's going great, Milly. I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up," he smiles cheekily at me and takes a swig of his scolding coffee. I laugh and roll my eyes at him.

"Okay, Augustus," I chuckle and sit down beside him and another girl that works here, Laura. Her blonde hair is messy and the bags under her eyes are prominent, and you can tell that she hasn't slept in a while. Like me I guess.

It's truly a nuisance for me, that Charlie is here. He's altering everything in my life, and I can't take it. I'm not sleeping, because I know that I'm going to dream of him. I'm not eating, because I feel like I'm going to vomit every time. I can't look at my boyfriend, because I'm secretly hoping that he's someone else.

Have you ever experienced something so heartbreaking and painful, that you just wish that you're going to open your eyes and realize that it was all just a bad dream? But when you do open your eyes, you're met with the same world; it's the reality. The painful truth. Losing Charlie was that dream in my case. I truly believe that if there is a Hell under us, it couldn't possibly be as painful as the pain I went through four years ago.

But even though that pain was excruciating, somehow, this whole new pain is so much worse. Him being here again pains me in a whole new way, that I didn't even know existed. The fact that I know that he's here, alive and well, just makes the hole in my chest burn with the need to be near him. Before, I didn't know if he was dead or alive, and that was probably one of the things that pained me the most, but now I know that he's alive, I'm jay burning with pain and need.

What pains me more than before, is that even though I deny this all the time, I wish that when I'm finished with my shift, I'll walk outside, where Charlie will be leaning against the wall with a small smile resting on his plump lips. He would hold my hand, kiss me, and tell me how much he missed me during the day away from me, and together, we would walk to our shared apartment.

But the painful part is, that I know that that is only my fantasy, and when I step out of the door when my shift is over, I'll only be met by cold wind and emptiness inside. I'll walk home alone to my apartment, which I share with my boyfriend, who happens to not be Charlie. Who I know, deep down, was never going to be enough for me. He was never going to make me feel the way that he could.

Because he's not Charlie. 

"Hey, Laura. Haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" I smile and nudge her arm with my elbow, and she slowly turns her head to me and gives me a lazy smile. She started working here shortly after me, and when she did, she and I started to talk well together. It's not like we're best friends, but we're not enemies either.

"Amelia, hey. No, I have been busy with my nan, but other than that, I'm great. How about you?" She closes her eyes for a couple of seconds and tries to stifle a yawn, though not succeeding as she opens her mouth widely and lets her yawn out.

How to answer her question though. Sure, I'm peachy. My ex-boyfriend suddenly showed up five days ago, after having been gone for four years. Now I'll deny it if someone asks, but I secretly still, some-what, love him, and boy let me tell you, I have really considered ditching my loving boyfriend to go to my ex. 

"I'm perfect, thank you. How's your nan, though?" Is what I say instead and she turns into a ramble about how her grandmother's dementia is really getting on her nerves. Especially when she asks who that man on her wedding picture is, where Laura then has to explain to her, that it's her dead husband, where her nan then starts to curse her out, telling her that that man is way too young for her. And the circle goes on and on.

To be honest, I kind of zone out after about two minutes, as Laura starts to talk about how unhelpful her mum is, as she never helps with her own mother.

I zone off into a world filled with green eyes and dimples. A world where I could be living happily with the man that stole my heart four years ago, and who still holds on to that heart to this day. His laugh always has been, and always will be my favourite sound, and think that I will go crazy by thinking of it if I don't hear it again any time soon.

I know that he and I were made for each other. That the reason we were born, was to find each other later on and be together. It sounds very dramatic, I know. But the thing is, that now that he's back, I can't help but overthink everything. Every possible reason for him to leave has been processed, but every time, I come out with the same answer; he could never do that. 

I don't know why I'm still defending his betraying ass after everything, but I can't help it. I know that I have to realize that he did, in fact, leave me, for an unknown reason, yes, but he still left. He could do it. 

"Hey, Aims. Are you okay? You're looking a little pale?" Sam whispers in my ear, making sure he's not interrupting Laura, who's still talking. I look over at him and find him furrowing his eyebrows and a frown spreading on his face.

"Uh, yea, I'm fine. Don't worry." I half-heartedly smile and sigh.

"Aims, I've been your best friend for almost three years now, I can tell you're lying. What is it? I mean, you've been acting kind of strange since Monday?" He questions with raised eyebrows.

Should I tell him about Charlie? I mean, it probably wouldn't be so bad, and I know that I can tell him everything. But then, I don't want everybody to know how pathetic I was to hope for a future with someone, that clearly didn't even see a year with me.

And I have been avoiding telling him for three years, but thinking about it, I do need someone to speak to, who won't automatically take my side, like Dylan does. I need someone who's not afraid to tell me the truth and come with some constructive criticism.

And right there and then, I decide that I will tell him. So, I excuse myself from Laura's none-mattering rambles and drag Sam by his sleeve into the bathroom. His eyes are wide and questioning as I let his sleeve go and let out a long breath as if I have been holding it in for way too long.

"What the hell, Amelia? What are you doing?" He whisper-yells and sends me a glare.

"Okay, I will tell you what's been up with me. But please, don't interrupt and let me finish?" I plead as I send him a wide-eyed look. He huffs and jumps up on the counter and motions for me to sit beside him, and I do so.

"Okay, so tell." He urges and gives me a reassuring smile. I sigh deeply and close my eyes, searching for the right words to start it off.

"Okay, so I guess it all started four years ago." I start and send Sam a glare as he's about to interrupt. "I met this guy, and I fell in love with him, and he with me. We then started dating and everything was going great. I loved him, y'know?" I smiled at the memories of me and Charlie together.

I was lying on the soft, green grass beneath me, looking up to the fluffy clouds above me. Charlie's head was resting on my stomach and he was pointing eagerly at a cloud he tried to convince me looked like Peter Pan, which for some odd reason was his favourite Disney character. Maybe because Peter never grew up, and his entire life was an adventure. An ideal life, according to Charlie. 

I tried to tell him that it looked nothing like Peter Pan, and broke out laughing as he started to tickle my waist. I yelled at him to stop, and he grinned widely down at me but stopped his torturing movements. 

He leaned down to kiss me, in a torturing slow manner and his smile kept growing. Just as his lips were about to meet mine, he turned his head, poked his tongue out and licked my cheek. I squealed and Charlie's laugh was loud and like music to my ears. 

After a minute of laughing and cursing him out, I lied back down on the grass, this time with my head on Charlie's chest; his constant heartbeat calming my entire being. He kissed my hair and my temple. "I love you" he whispered and I could hear the smile in his voice. 

"I love you, too" I replied and grinned like a lunatic on crack. I was happy. Happy in his arms and happy being with him. 

"Well, after about a year, he suddenly, out of the blue, disappeared. He was just gone. There was no letter, note, text, call; nothing. And after a year of moping around, I decided to start fresh, and that's when I met you." I sigh and look at Sam, who's sitting with his mouth agape and his eyes ready to pop out.

"Oh my God, Milly. That explains a whole fucking lot. Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?" He asks frustrated and runs a hand through his hair.

"I honestly just wanted to forget about it all," I answer him truthfully. And look how that turned out for me, huh?

"But wait, what does something that happened four years ago, have anything to do with your mood now?" He questions, with wide eyes and leaning forwards to get the gossip.

"He showed up again a few days ago, and now I'm just met with the constant reminder of him." I painfully sigh and bite my cheek to prevent the tears from falling.

"Well, that explains it. Oh, darling, I'm sorry. If only you had told me before, then I would have been more supportive." He says to comfort me and drags me down to stand with him, and as soon as my feet hit the ground, he pulls me into a bone crushing hug and rubs soothing circles on my back.

I can't help the one tear that falls onto Sam's shirt and I sniffle. How is it that I always end up a crying mess, every time I as much as think about Charlie? It's crazy to think about that one guy, can have such power over me, and I know that he knows that I would do anything for him if he only said the word.

"Ugh, I can't believe he just showed up. What a dick. Want me to kick his ass for you?" He jokes and kisses my hair. I let out a hollow laugh and wipe my nose with my sleeve.

I don't know how to feel about Sam knowing about Charlie, but somehow, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I can now breathe properly. Then, of course, I remember Charlie and all the things I felt before, and I'm immediately a mess on the inside again.

"No thanks. I'll remember you offered, though," I chuckle and look at myself in the mirror. A big mistake of course. My hair is messy from the wind. My lips are chapped. My skin looks pale and lifeless, and my cheeks are stained with tears. I look truly wrecked. "I think we should probably get to work, Sam." I smile and run a hand through my knots.

"You sure you want to? I mean, I can ask Laura to cover for you?" He asks with kindness and love in his voice. I honestly don't know what I'd do without that man.

"No, I'm good. I'm okay." I assure him and force a smile.

I'm okay. On the outside, maybe. On the inside, I'm really fucking broken, and I have no idea how to put the pieces back together. Or, I actually do know how to, but it would require a certain green-eyed guy, and I've sworn to myself, that I'm going to keep a safe distance from him.

He's the one that broke me, but he's the only one that can fix me. 

 

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