When did we stop being kids?

Just a poem about an introvert at a party x

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1. When did we stop being kids?

When did we stop being kids?

Did I not get the memo?

All along I thought it was just a game of dress up,

A game of pretend as we waltz around in heels and lipstick.

Am I the only one who’s feet are burning,

Each step nourishing the garden of blisters growing on my toes,

Spreading across my feet like wildfire,

Hide the pain with a smile, don’t let them know you’re hurting.

You’re a big girl now, suck it up now.

 

Am I the only one pretending?

Because none of this is really me,

Not the pin straight hair nor the layers of black outlining my eyes,

Not even the way the light casts shadows on my face.

Because this face, with its natural colour and contour,

Has been painted over to make a blank canvas,

On which I coloured the way it is ‘supposed’ to look.

 

Am I the only one pretending that my stomach is flat beneath the dress

Wrapped tightly around my body like a snake,

Constricting me so I can’t breathe.

Don’t eat too much, only a chip or two,

After all it’s not polite, not lady like,

To stuff your face in front of everyone.

Don’t you know I haven't eaten all day because I wanted to look nice in this dress?

 

Hold your head straight, shoulders back, stomach in.

Sit with your legs crossed at the ankles,

Hands folded neatly in your lap, maybe then they won’t see them shake.

Because deep down you wish to be home,

Parties are not what they used to be,

Instead of a jumping castle at the gate there’s a girl who can’t walk straight,

And when did boys start treating girls as a toy rather than a playmate?

 

When did we stop being kids?

Did I not get the memo?

If I’m honest I don’t belong here,

I can’t master this facade, my mask is slipping off,

I can't wait to be out the door, I can’t do this anymore.

Now I lay in bed with my face bare,

Hair in a bun, a T-Shirt is all I wear;

And I’m left asking in a silent prayer,

When did we stop being kids?

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