Fake Smile

This is a poem by my best friend Kimberly Kasnick, ALL CREDIT GOES TO HER!

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1. Fake Smile

There's a girl in the corner,

just turned eighteen.

Ever since she was little,

it was always her dream.

To marry a man who would treat her just right.

With loving best friend for the rest of her life.

 

But as she grew up,

her friends all grew cold.

So she twisted her life just to fit in their mold.

Now her biggest fear is that she'll be rejected.

She'll try anything to feel loved and accepted.

 

She posts photos on Instagram hoping that now,

her body attracts what her heart couldn't somehow. 

Slowly turning herself into something she's not,

desperate for anyone to think that she's hot.

 

But the love she craves,

has never come through.

And all the dreams she once held,

just haven't come true.

 

If you ask how she is,

she'll say that she's  fine.

She disguises it well,

but she's dying inside. 

She's tried parties and drinking,

just a little to start.

Anything to fill that big hole in her heart. 

 

Now she's sleeping around,

hoping that love will be found.

But her heart lies empty from the sorrows she's drowned.

 

'Cause deep down she knows,

that she is not bold.

She puts on her fake smile while she bleeds.

On the outside she'll build so her life will seem filled.

But on the inside she's never complete.

 

There's a boy on the streets,

acting all rough.

Bullying others to make him feel tough.

He puts on a show so his ego will grow.

Puts everyone down to try an raise himself up.

 

People assume that he's always been cold.

It seems like there's nothing that could tame his soul.

On the outside he's callous with a heart made of steel.

But inside he's broken, by the pain that he feels.

 

He's the abuser at school,

but at home he's the abused.

With a dad always drunk and a mom always bruised.

He's lost count of the times he's gone to bed crying.

 

He's never found peace,

and he's gotten tired of trying.

Now he's lost all hope,

and his trust has worn thin.

 

So he hurts others first,

before they can hurt him.

He takes out his pain on the kids at his school.

While desperate for someone to think that he's cool.

 

But deep down he knows,

that he is not bold.

He puts on his fake smile while he bleeds.

 

On the outside he'll build,

so his life will seem filled.

But on the inside he's never complete.

 

Though we all try not to show it,

and all try to fix it.

In our hearts we are broken but no one admits it.

They say that it's what on the inside that counts.

We all put on a brave face but on the inside we doubt.

 

We're all scared of the world,

we don't know what we're facing.

We're longing for something,

but don't know what we're chasing.

 

Though we face the same things that burden and break us.

We all look to each other for some feeling of status.

We want them to view us,

to follow and like.

 

To favorite our looks and subscribe to our life.

We treat retweets like morphine to cover the hurt.

Of our friendless existence when our phone doesn't work.

We're all grasping at glory and craving acclaim.

 

It's the fuel in our tank,

the blood in our veins.

And as soon as it's gone,

our hearts hit the floor.

And we run to self-pity 'til our ego finds more.

 

Everyone out there keeps searching around.

Just to find the right pill to pick them up when they're down.

And we try our best but we fail our own test.

We pretend that we're swimming while we drown.

 

Because deep down we know,

that we are not bold.

We put on our fake smiles while we bleed.

On the outside we'll build so our lives will seem filled.

But on the inside we're never complete.

So what is the answer?

What is the cure?

What is the solution to being so insecure.

 

Can sex, drugs or money fulfill all your dreams?

Or a 7-step process to restore self-esteem?

Well if we're all here by chance and there's no higher power,

then live life to the full,

or just waste every hour.

 

If it makes you feel happy,

good, then do all the more.

And find satisfaction in what you adore.

Just eat,drink,sleep,party, have fun then die.

 

'Cause what does it matter what you do to feel high?

If you only live once then do what you choose.

And we're all here by chance,

so you can't really lose.

But the problem with that,

it's ignorant lies.

 

It's the best people offer but never satisfies.

It's like trying to fill a bucket right up to the top,

while it's leaking out at more than you ever could stop.

Whatever the world can produce as the answer,

  just eats us away like an emotional cancer.

 

There's nothing inside you to enlighten your soul.

You can't do a thing,

to make you feel whole.

So what if we've been looking in all the wrong places?

Trying to find gratification to fill our hearts' spaces?

 

What if the real answer, isn't something conceived?

It's not dreamt up by people, but something received?

See, while everyone's trying to find a method that's greater,

true help can only come from our creator.

Weather you believe doesn't change what is true.

And all I can do is present this to you.

We try to show our good and cover our bad.

Just show the happy but never the sad.

 

But God isn't fooled,

he sees under your mask.

He knows all your thoughts,

and your unending task.

 

That search for acceptance,

to keep and preserve it.

But there's nothing good in us to ever deserve it.

But though I am sinful,

and stood as God's foe,

because he is good,

he stood up and said,

 

"No, I won't leave you alone,

though you deserve hell.

I'll love you and free you from your prison cell.

I'll come as a man and i'll die in your place

, taking your sin and giving you grace.

But I won't stay dead,

I'll rise from the grave.

 

I'll show I'm alive,

and willing to save.

Now your time on Earth may be still filled with strife,

but repent and believe and I'll give you life."

So though I am wretched,

and hopelessly alone,

God chose to love me,

and make me his own.

 

Now,I'm alive,

when once I was dead.

So I'm simply a beggar showing where to find bread.

See, the trouble we face has been true from the start.

The heart of our problem is the problem of our heart.

 We're all full of sin,

full of vice.

 

Our hearts need transforming and cleansing by Christ.

It's not superficial touch-ups but supernatural changes.

It gives new breath to my lungs,

new life to my veins.

 

Now  whatever I go through,

I don't need a fake smile.

Because I'm forgiven, adopted,and loved as God's child.

Now it's not just my answer that suits me the best, 

not just a nice lifestyle, valid as all the rest.

 

No,

It's the way,

and the truth,

and the life.

The reason my smile isn't fake,

is Christ.

 

 

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