Lost

I stumble over my regrets and discarded clothes scattered across the floor

Tears fall for lost loved ones and the struggle for clear skin

I wonder if people look at me the way I look at myself

I hope that they don't

 

I spend too much time in bed yet not asleep

Wondering when I will wake up from reality

Empty smiles cover overflowing eyes

Tightening the mask that hides our shared pain

 

Deadlines and flat lines and dead ends

Quiet voices speaking loud words

Reminding me how much I miss the carpet of my first bedroom

More than the arms of any man

 

Sometimes I want to run away

Embrace a cliché to find a blank page

But running towards what’s around the corner,

My compass is set to the warmth of familiarity

The past is a horizon I shall never reach

However much my fingertips may bleed

 

I want to get drunk on night air, on rainclouds, on open fields

I long to wrap myself in the ocean and spiral through the waves

Purge myself of the person I am and let go

Melt and melt away

Listen to it all and fade…

Maybe one day