Stone and Steel


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Darkness enveloped me, not a single ray of light pierced the darkness. And I did not look for one.

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Darkness not only enveloped my body but took hold around my mind. And I let it fill me, it showed me the destruction of everything I knew, it showed me the sacrifices I had made, it showed me that they were in vain, it kept showing me for what could have been years, months, and then the darkness loosened its grip on my mind, slowly retreating from my soul. But the darkness had lingered too long and as it drew back, it took with it every part of who i was, who I was meant to be, and who I never again could be. Leaving only a broken hollow shell of a girl, to her broken hollow shell of thoughts, broken hollow shells of what that darkness left her to be, what the darkness had led her to become.

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Wings were the embodiment of the human who held them on their shoulders, they were the physical definition of ones being. An empty, dull, memory. These were the thoughts I was left with in the unmeasurable surpass of time in which I had been left to think, so I thought, and I thought hoping one day I might think no more.

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Some wings allowed those who wished it to fly, soar, and feel the wind of freedom against their face. Those were made of feathers, each individual feather standing united across the entire length of the wing. They were formed from the clay that once made up all things living and breathing , long since turned to ash. some wings were made to be strong and powerful, a way to survive, to conquer, and stand unbroken. Those were made of skin and bone stretched tight from tip to tip, made from the smooth steady marble shaped before the dawn of time, from which they all drew their humane will. I am none of these things, that was why the darkness had claimed me after all. My wings are made of steel and stone, they exist where life and death alike retreat, pushes through where sheer will forsakes. I do not fly with my wings, nor do I carry my wings around with me, I keep them in place inside my body and mind reserved for the times when I need the weight of cold hard steel to allow me to fall, and stone to keep me from rising. I do not fight for I have nothing and no one to fight for. I do not soar nor have I known freedom in a long, long, time. I am cold, I am hard, I am unyielding, that is what the darkness has taught me. I am neither life nor death, I am both human and animal, I am none and I am all, I have no name. This is what the darkness left behind when she took me, and this is who I now am.

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My eyes fly open. The world is dark, as it has been for as long as I can remember. Then there is a light, as simple as that, it came without warning or signal, to any other it would have gone unnoticed, for it was no more than a shift from black to grey, but a light nonetheless. My eyes shifted for the first time since I came here. shifting away from the spot where the light disappeared, from the spot where my life disappeared, towards the echo of light in a never ending darkness. The light looks at me too, two echoes of what once was, and like the darkness so long ago, the light speaks to me. It tells me of myself, the me before the darkness. I listen, I believe, and I, in that moment, have a not so hollow and broken thought, I cling to it, and then I think a whole thought, a pure unending thought, or rather an emotion. The very thing the darkness had taken from me, a part of the world emanating solely from me, unbroken by the darkness. I will act It sang, I will yield, I will warm, I will embody life, I will become human once again and all will flow through me for I do not yet know my name but I will. I will extend my wings and I will at all cost fly, with my wings made of stone, and steel. My wings unbroken, even by the darkness.

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