VIBE

VIBE

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1. Vibe

My mind is crashing down. Everything that has happened is just flowing through my eyes in the form of tears. Hopeless. The 'Hafsah and Amaan romance' rumors are getting stronger, I'm constantly texting Haris but he is not replying, I've clashed with Murtaza again, my parents are angry at me for my behavior at mosque. What ever I say, Its unheard. I could shout out my heart into the world but no one would bother to hear it. I could scream my words but they will fall onto deaf ears. Shattered. Shattered best describes how my heart feels. Worthless. Memories of walking beside Haris on a winter's night flash back through my brain. I remember the biting wind and the buckets of rain but when I was with Haris I felt warm warm warm warm. Memories of laughing with Hafsah without a worry are slaughtered by the thought that after two-years when we move to college, we may never see each other again. I would loose two very special people in my life. I cant think of how I'm going to handle it. With Haris gone, I've become a complete maniac. People worry about me. They are always asking why I've changed. Its because I was sick of it. Sick of the bullshit my parents used to say about Haris. Sick of them back-chatting his family. Sick of everything. I had to let my anger out somehow, because I told you that they wont hear a thing. Not a word. Its funny really how all these words are tumbling out of my brain and onto this blank screen but when I want to actually talk, my tongue stays rigid. My behavior caused my parents to think that Haris influenced me, but it was actually their fault. They are the reason why every thing is a huge stinking pile of crap now. They moved me to a new mosque, where I am going wild because I am without Haris. I want to speak about it but I cant. I want to let it all out and forget about it but I cant. I want to fix everything but I cant. Whats the point of me trying? My tongue stays rigid and for the first time, it actually feels good. I dont need to speak. I can stay silent and watch everything perish the way my heart did. I can feel it now. Fresh Vibes. Vibes of sorrow that turn into revenge. Rivers are flowing down my cheeks as I remember that day when all of this happened. Its all my fault. I get too attached to my friends, because the way my life is going, no one is ever going to be permanent. I have a huge reputation for fall outs. Reputations no longer matter to me. I feel strong. Sorrow is my strength.I'm not going to speak or answer any questions about what I do. I'm just going to do it for my friendship with Hafsah and Haris. I been patient for too long. Time for me to change. I dont care what people say. This is my life. I have a new vibe...

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