Terror's Agony

Jack Ridley has fought off his fear by striking it into the heart's of others, but nothing scares him more than the putrid stench of terror that clings to the air like a lifeline whenever he lets his wrath run wild.

The steady burn of his cigarette isn't the only thing that could go up in flames.
A fire has started within him so monstrous that not even the devil on Jack's shoulder can reap what he sows.

How do you fight your fears when the only thing left to fear is yourself?

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23. Chapter 4-Motivated Milo

If I were Dean, I'd apologize for losing my head. I would still be tricking myself into thinking that my mind is still owned by me, is still controlled by the person I used to be, but...

Milo isn't here.

Milo hasn't seen the light of day since he eternally killed the soul within another person- since he killed someone for the first time (if we leave out poetic justice and just go with simplicity).

I run on simplicity, I say that because I believe that motivation is relatively the same thing as simplicity. Motive is motive, it's the reason, it's the urge, it's the need, it's all of it. It's everything and just one thing at the same time. As simple and as hectic and uncontrollable as you can get.

Motivation.

I find that it's often overshadowed by determination, they are definitely similar, but yet only one of them is used when talking about the 'motive' behind a serial killers actions. A murderer isn't commonly seen as determined is he? You automatically think of the innocent party when you think determined; determined to escape, determined to save their family, determined to procrastination their inevitable death...

So yes, to answer the question you never asked, I'm motivated.

I want to change the world one man at a time. I know it's no easy feat, but I'm sure you know as well as anyone, I'm up for it.

I only have to use the male population, women already beat themselves up enough without me in their heads. They'd probably do most of my work for me without making a dent in the world, and I don't have extra time for that, I'm on the clock.

Instead, I will do it the smart way: The men will go down first and the world will crumble.

I'm sure the girls hearing this may feel especially heated about this ever so touchy topic, but let me ask you guys (girls) this: Why does this bother you more than all the murder and death I've talked about before?

I just proved the point of my genius, not that I had to, so let me explain:

You're more ticked by this because women have this insistent need to prove their worth to society, translation: to men. Men do in fact rule the civilization we refer to as humanity (which won't change if I have anything to do with it) and no matter how independent a women is (or thinks she is), said women will always have to prove herself to the men of the world that have everything given to them on the same silver platter that will probably always exist.

But to bring the conversation back to my original point, women aren't as bothered by death as they are by inferiority because although you can possibly see them both, only one is a socially aloud to be seen, aloud to be accepted.

Also there's two things that you should keep in mind before you listen to any of this: I'm a bit old-fashioned (who would've thought); and the other thing is, I'm stalling, but like the good little soldier you are, you listen with, I'm sure, maybe a little bit of hesitation.

Were you holding on to every word?

Was your brain going a thousand times a minute trying to fully understand everything I was telling you? Trying to understand the intended intention behind my words?

Maybe you shouldn't listen to me that dedicatedly.

I could say that there's a reason why people thought the earth was flat. I could just hear your heart would beat with anticipation, just dying to hear my diagnosis of the stupidity that geographers suffered from at the turn of the century.

I could say anything and you would rack your brain trying to figure out why I said it, or what it meant, or how I was right.

Because you do think in some twisted way that I'm right, don't you? I have a wisdom that cannot be reciprocated by anyone else. I have a thought process that shouldn't be questioned, that in some morbid way is correct?

I hope you didn't just agree to that.

If you aren't a total psychopath, that should be an easy 'No' for you.

Or maybe I'm just really trustworthy...

That was a joke if you haven't been listening.

Maybe you should notice the evasion techniques I continue to use, I'm talking about everything and nothing at the same time. At least I'm man enough to admit that I don't want my long awaited death to come.

Spoiler alert: I'm the last one.

There you go again, going through file cabinet among file cabinet within your head trying to figure out what I meant by that.

I have you at my total mercy.

Sadly for you, I'm not going to tell you what I meant, you won't know until I've told you, or showed you...

So again, enjoy the power I have over you, because you know I will.

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