Philophobia

“I’ve seen too much poison to know medicine”
Maetia Kama Tallwood

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FLASHBACK

The cries from the kitchen were getting louder, from a whimper, to a roar in pain. I couldn’t help but run downstairs. I was delusional, thinking I could stop it. My father, stood upon my mother, with his fist raised. Her eyes were bloodshot as she looked at me in dismay. He slowly turned, lowering his fist and following her gaze to the 6 year old girl, standing in the doorway. Then everything went black.

NOWTIME

“So that’s why you don’t want to hang out with me. You think that you might fall in love?”

He look extremely flabbergasted.

“So... “ He continued, “If I were to kiss you, you’d have a panic attack?”

I stepped forward, and slapped him. A long red mark stretched across his burning face.

“Get. Out.”

He struggled for his words, before letting out his final statement…

“This… this is how you treat your best friend, who was there for you during the abuse and pain. I see how it is. Goodbye

The door slammed behind him, almost falling off its unstable hinges. Miss cornwell from the apartment next door stormed out.

“DON'T SLAM DOORS!”She hissed through the keyhole, before walking to her room and slamming the door in rage.

“Hypocrite” I mumbled, stumbling to my room.

The apartment block on 5th street, that’s where i was residated. My parents kicked me out, apparently it was “Better for me”, but it was really so I was not to see the abuse anymore. It took them 10 years to figure that out. Now I’m in my final year of online high school, prepping for my finals and thinking if my life decisions have been decent...Probably not. I can’t even decide what I’d do after I graduated. I didn’t want to go out, I didn't want to stay in… I didn’t want to risk falling in love.

FLASHBACK

It was in third grade, I was hanging out with my friend, when a girl came over and started teasing us. I have to be honest, the guy I was hanging out with, I sort of had feelings for. I didn’t want to admit it, but I did.

“Maetia and Cameron, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage” She said, in a singsong. She laughed as my face caught fire. I was red as a rose. Millions of thoughts raced through my head.

Then comes abuse, then comes relapse, then comes a baby with bruises that repulse.

I threw up.

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