Gamechanger of feelings

Skrevet på engelsk som et projekt og forsøg. Jeg lover ikke at den er fejlfri i sproget og grammatikken, men giver den en chance alligevel.

Imagine being able to read souls. Or being capable of reading every feeling a person has ever felt in his or her life, including what they feel right now. You know when people lie, or when they are turned on by you. You might call it reading auras, but auras are what people feel in the moment, not all their feeling-memories, so souls are more fitting, I guess. And then imagine, that the way you read them is by absorbing others feelings, and you can't turn it off. Then your problems with loud-speaking people seem very small, don't they?

Historien er om Sparrow, som kan noget andre ikke kan. Nemlig læse andre folk følelser - alle dem de nogensinde har følt. Desværre skaber det ofte problemer for hende. Hun lever et liv i det skjulte indtil nogle hændelser forsøger at bringe hende ud i lyset.

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1. Introduction to my past

Imagine being able to read souls. Or being capable of reading every feeling a person has ever felt in his or her life, including what they feel right now. You know when people lie, or when they are turned on by you. You might call it reading auras, but auras are what people feel in the moment, not all their feeling-memories, so souls are more fitting, I guess. And then imagine, that the way you read them is by absorbing others feelings, and you can't turn it off. Then your problems with loud-speaking people seem very small, don't they?  

 

My name is Sparrow. Not that it is my real name, but I don't remember my birth name, and in the environment, I live in, it seems better not to tell anyone anyway. I am capable of doing what I just told you. This is my life - every single second of every single day since I was born. I guess I didn't feel it as intense, when I was young, compared to how it is now. Kids do seem to be more simple and straightforward than adults, and if you grew up in a loving home, you would absorb love and not feel that much of a difference from any other child. I grew up in a small village a good trip away from London. My mother was a doctor and my father worked half the year on an oil platform.

I started out normal, but then my parents started to notice things others couldn't see. I could tell, that my best friend was beaten at home, without her telling me, and I knew when a seller was cheating my mother on the phone. Because my mother was a doctor, she started checking me on why I could do it. First, she thought I was just good at reading people - like the guy in "Lie to me", but it seemed deeper than that. It was when I started picturing the feelings I absorbed as colors. (Because I grew older, and knew I wasn't normal, I tried to explain these rather strange feelings). She never told anyone except my father. They didn't want me to be a lab-rat or something like that I guess.  

 

When I began in 3rd grade, I grew better at reading people, and but it was like the "gift" or power I had, took command sometimes. I could not turn it off, and when someone is pissed at you, and you are pissed at them, it isn't that great to lose your head and explode at them. (Imaginary not literal of course). My mom and dad began to teach me at home because the principal said that I was impossible to keep out of an argument more than one week. I didn't want to be like that, but when you know when those bimboes are talking behind your back, and they are lying you straight in the face, I guess you would too.  

 

And then my father died. It was an accident at work, they told us. He was crushed, so they would let us see him before here got buried. Mom was devastated. I was too - maybe more than I told my mom. It took hard on me because I could feel mom's broken heart in addition to my own. It was crazy. I began playing the piano as an escape. With the music, I could focus on something outside my head, and I could get some of the feelings out. It helped a bit. But bad karma wasn't finished with me yet. Mom got ill. Very ill. I was the one who found out first. I felt that she had some small pains she didn't have before and told her to get it looked at. I was eleven at the time she died too. 1,5 years of cancer in the spine. Then my quiet life changed completely. I got thrown around in the system and ended up at a children's home. I didn't fit in here of course. There were way too many hopeless feelings and problems, and I wandered around with a constant headache.

After 3 years of chaos, I met James. He was 30 or something at the time and came from an organization, which helps troubled or sick children. He told me he would help me get out of there. Later he told me, he knew I was different, and I must admit I yearned after someone who would listen. Someone who would understand why I never seemed to fit in. And James did.   Now a new chapter of my life should soon begin.

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