Army Tanks - Lashton

''This is no girl scout camp, Private.''

''Sir, No, sir.''

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Luke is the scrawny new guy in the army, where no one think he belongs.

Ashton is the sir in Luke's tent, and not going easy on any of the boys.

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This story is partly inspired by 'The Load' by ali (dancinginthestreet) and partly by PE in my school. This story is also on Wattpad.

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31. Don't let your personal feelings get involved.

My eyes kept darting over to the clock.

It was inching closer and closer to 11, where I would see Ashton again, for the first time since he was in the hospital.

Suddenly my work phone made a buzzing sound on my desk, and I quickly pressed the button.

''Yes?'' I asked, just wanting to throw up.

''Mr. Hemmings. I mean Luke. Your client uhm... Mr. Irwin is here to see you.'' Laura said, making me gulp.

''Yeah uhm... Let him in... In about 5 minutes okay...? I have a uhm... Mail that I need to finish.'' I said, before removing my finger from the button, cutting off all contact between us.

I quickly got out my private phone, and called Charlie.

''Hey love. Why are you already calling?'' Charlie asked, and I could hear Elliot babble in the background, making me instantly calm down.

''Hey... I uh.. I just... I really need help to calm down right now... I have a client, that I have to speak to, because his blueprints for his house went missing.'' I said, just wanting to die.

''So...? What's te big problem love?'' Charlie asked, suddenly sounding a little less nervous.

''That's not the problem... The problem is the person... It's Ashton. Ashton Irwin.'' I said, just wanting to cancel the meeting, as the words left my mouth.

''Who's Ashton...?'' Charlie carefully asked, and I remembered, that he didn't know much about Elliot's other father.

''It's Elliot's other dad.'' I said, and I could almost hear the blood drain from his face.

''Oh...'' Was all he said, before there suddenly was a knock on my door.

''I have to go now... Love you.'' I said, just as the door opened.

Charlie said the words back, and I hung up.

I looked over a Laura, who was standing pretty much behind the door, that was almost closed still.

''Uhm... Can I let him in now...?'' She asked, biting her lip lightly.

''Yeah. Go ahead.'' I said, before I stood up from my chair, and walked over to the minibar I had, which my dad had given me as a gift when he told me I was gonna be the next CEO.

I took the wine bottle, and a glass, filling the glass almost completely.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, making me turn around, and be met by Ashton's nervous and scared face.

I looked him over, seeing he had lost a little weight, and didn't have a much muscle as before.

And his beard was gone, his hair also being a little longer, making him look a lot younger.

I walked over and sat in my chair, setting the glass beside me.

''You know... You can sit down.'' I said, seeing how he seemed even more nervous.

He walked over with hesitant steps, and sat on the chair in front of my desk.

I looked deeply into his eyes, suddenly remembering what my dad said.

Don't let your personal feelings get involved with your job. It will only lead to complications, and your job won't be done correctly, or made fairly.

I took a deep breath, before looking at my computer, clicking on Ashton's file.

''So. I understand that your blueprints went missing. For how long precisely?''I asked, just doing like I had seen my dad do all the time.

''Uhm... For 4 months...'' Ashton said, making me realise how I had forgotten his voice completely.

I nodded, before writing it down, checking through the database.

''Just a minute. I'll have to call someone quickly.'' I said, before standing up, and walking out from the room.

I quickly called my dad, going everything over with him.

Soon after, I walked back into the room, where Ashton was sitting just as I left him.

I sat in my own chair, before using the few tips my dad had given, to try and see if I could find it in the database.

''It looks like it has been deleted completely. We still have your file, and you're requests, but the blueprint is completely gone.'' I said, searching a little more, but not finding anything.

''Okay. Here's how we do. We have to make a new blueprint for you, so if there is anything you would like to change, now's your chance. So. How big is the ground you have, how many rooms do you need, and for what purpose. Any specific things you would like.'' I said, not missing how he looked at me, as if I was his whole life.

But he's too late, and did the wrong things.

''Okay uhm... It doesn't need to be as big anymore... Probably just 5 rooms... A kitchen, living room, bedroom, office and guest room. And bathroom ofcourse but..'' He said, sounding way more awkward than I thought was possible.

I typed it all down, before I closed the laptop, and looked into Ashton's eyes.

''Listen Ashton. There is no need to get all nervous about this. It's just a meeting about your future house, that Hemmings Constructions will build.'' I said, wanting to reach over the table, and hold his hand. But I stopped myself from doing so, since I'm with Charlie, and we are getting quite serious. 

And Ashton was probably still with that guy from the hospital.

''I know. It's just... It's hard for me, to just watch you, living your life, after what I did to you.'' He said, running a hand through his curls.

I was about to say something, but he cut me off.

''It's really fucking hard, to just watch you live your life, as if I never was a part of it. As if I'm not Elliot's other dad. And it hurts Luke. It really fucking hurts. Especially seeing you with that cop, living your life with him, as if he and Elliot is your family.'' He said, as he stood up, and began pacing around the room.

''Well. Elliot and Charlie may not be connected by blood. But at least Charlie has that bond with Elliot. Elliot has only ever said dad, Mikey and Calum, when talking about people. He always point at people in stead, even though I tell him it isn't nice to point at people. He won't even call my parents anything. Only point at them. But you know what? Yesterday, the bond between Charlie and Elliot was proven, because Elliot stopped pointing, and yeah, he didn't call him dad. But he gave Charlie a name.'' I said, standing up as well.

I downed my glass of wine, as I looked at Ashton.

''He only gave Charlie a stupid fucking name because you actually gave Charlie a chance! I never got one!'' Ashton said, suddenly begining to look angry.

''I gave Charlie a chance, because he deserved it! You got your chance. And you got many. But you blew them all! Do you know how fuckiing heartbroken I was, when I woke up to see that I was alone with Elliot in the old apartment? The one we agreed you moved into, so we could be a family? The family you walked out on. And so what if you find it stupid. It just shows who Elliot truly trusts.'' I said, seeing the guilt mix with his anger.

''Don't you think I was broken too, that day at the mall, when you didn't tell me anything back!?'' He yelled, making me roll my eyes.

''I fucking kissed you!! And yet I was married to someone else! And when I talked to Michael, you just fucking left, and went to make out with Caren.'' I yelled back, wanting to throw my glass against the wall.

''It's Carly.'' He said, and I did, as a matter of fact, throw the glass to the wall.

I watched the way it shattered, feeling a suddenly sympathy for it.

It was the perfect representation of my heart one and a half year ago.

I then realised.

Ashton didn't break my heart.

Or not completely.

I was the one who kept on thinking about ways I had made him angry, or not love me, though I never found one.

Because...

I was just unlovable.

''I don't care anymore okay!? You broke me! You shattered my heart, and left me a mess, to break my own heart even further! I almost lost Elliot because of you! You left me half drunk every damn night for six months!'' I said, and now the truth was out

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