Hear me

When you feel, tha nobody wants you, everything´s a mess, and when you feel you drag everyone down with your mood.
That´s when I go out for “a walk”, where I cry my eyes out, smoke, and perhaps drink till I don´t remember anything. Where I go to the cliff 500 meters from my home.. sit on the edge, and wanting to jump, hoping that a gust of wind pushes me over. Listening to sad songs, wanting someone, anyone to hear my cries for help. My scars on my arms, that I make in plain sight. If my parents cared, they would have done something, asked me how I was. I told them once, but we hide how we feel. That´s their greatest gift, being able to ignore the truth, the hurt.
Why even bother anymore. I can´t. My brother´s the only reason I´m here. He wouldn´t be able to bear my disappearance.
Goosebumps while writing this, no one notices how I don´t listen in class. Listening to sad music and writing this sad piece of my heart. Trying, to make anyone understand.

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1. Hear me

When you feel, tha nobody wants you, everything´s a mess, and when you feel you drag everyone down with your mood.
That´s when I go out for “a walk”, where I cry my eyes out, smoke, and perhaps drink till I don´t remember anything. Where I go to the cliff 500 meters from my home.. sit on the edge, and wanting to jump, hoping that a gust of wind pushes me over. Listening to sad songs, wanting someone, anyone to hear my cries for help. My scars on my arms, that I make in plain sight. If my parents cared, they would have done something, asked me how I was. I told them once, but we hide how we feel. That´s their greatest gift, being able to ignore the truth, the hurt. 
Why even bother anymore. I can´t. My brother´s the only reason I´m here. He wouldn´t be able to bear my disappearance. 
Goosebumps while writing this, no one notices how I don´t listen in class. Listening to sad music and writing this sad piece of my heart. Trying, to make anyone understand.

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