A Day in My Shoes

This is my life...

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5. This Chapter sucks, sorry.

Can we talk about my feelings? Well, your opinion doesn't matter, I'm the writer. 
Fire, burning, heated and full of destruction, but at the same time full beauty. Full of grace, and color. I guess that explains me. I destroy relationships that get too serious, I could burn holes in you, but I am beautiful, not physically, more metaphorically. My life, and my feelings are like a piece of art. I could write a book about my life, and without telling you it was real, you'd probably think it was fiction. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. ADHD and depression don't mix well. If I take my medication, I can focus on how I feel, if I don't my mind is in too many places at once. Also, my hyperactivity basically covers up the obvious signs of depression. So, yeah that's a thing. 
I feel like if I die today, I would be ready. Not because my life is miserable. Don't mistake anything I say for me saying I hate my life, but because I have experienced so much, that I feel like I have lived my life to its fullest. I could die any day now, anyone could. It would be relief. Imagine, based on your religious views, floating in darkness forever. Or being in a paradise, where you're treated like you should be. The scariest thing though is, what if we have all already died and Earth is Hell? Makes you think doesn't it? 
You know the question "If you could have any super power, what would it be?" Well, my answer to that question is...none. Because deep down, I know I wouldn't use it for good. If I had the power, I feel like I would make people feel the pain I felt. And that's scary as hell to me. Because I know, I'm not a good guy who saves the world, I'm a villain. I would hurt the ones who hurt me, I would be a horrible violent person. Why? Because I would have power. I am powerless, I am not strong. I'm not as okay as I seem, I have to constantly tell myself that I'm okay so I believe it myself. I have a darker side, I keep it hidden away in a box, with a massive lock. The box is in a place only I can get to, its a special place in my mind, called the Cliff. 
This is something I've written before. 
The Cliff, by Trenton 
Once, there was a boy. He was kind and sweet. He respected his elders and did what he was told. The boy lived in the safety of his village until one day, he ventured into the woods. He played in the woods for hours, until he realized he was lost. He began to cry, and cry. A man offered to help him, and the boy followed him back to his mansion. It was in the middle of the woods, made out of beautiful wood. The man fed the boy, after their dinner, the man took the boy to the basement. There, the boy was chained up and held prisoner. He stayed there for many years, and during his time in the basement all of his fear and anger formed into a reverse version of him. Dark, horrible, violent. The boy kept this version of him hidden away, he was frightened of himself. He had trouble controlling this alternate version of himself. One day, he compromised with the darker version of himself, and they escaped. Out of rage, the darker version of the boy burned the mansion, killing the man, and betraying the boy. So the boy, locked him away in a box and used the remaining wood from the mansion and built a small cabin on a cliff, where the boy lives today. He keeps the darker side of himself kept away as best he can, and protects the ones who he loves from him. 
The End
That story has many inspirations from my life. I do keep my, angry side away and I do have an imaginary place that I made as a child. Also I had an imaginary friend for the longest time name Deathface. 

 

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