Analyzing you

Jennah Sibley is a woman in her 20's and she goes to see a psychiatrist, Tom Hiddleston. He's not the way he seemes but she's not honest either.

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8. Chapter 8

I’m silent the whole trip to the city. Tom is driving like the car was on fire. I was a little scared. He asked where to drive me but when we get closer to the city, it wasn’t even close. I’m worried there for a while.
“I have to get my jacket from the office. Do you mind if we stop there first?” He glimpses at me
Was he really asking? So far he hadn’t shown any signs of doing harm to me so I agreed. He slows down and parks the car on the other side of the street. He asks if I wanted to come with him. I was too afraid to say no so I followed. It’s 8 pm and the building was closed but he had a keycard so we could go in. He was strangely nice. Deep inside I knew it was just an act but my heart was telling otherwise. We get to the elevator and to his floor. It was quite creepy there after office hours. I walk behind him and look forward. He unlocks the door to the office and turns the light on. I wait in the waiting room while he is in his office. He finds his jacket on the couch and takes it. He stays there a while. The door is a little open. I see he sits down by his desk and takes something from the drawer. It’s just his other mobile. He stands up and gets to the door. He switches the lights off and closes it. He smiles at me and then stops.
“Do you mind if we stay here a while?”

I didn’t know what to say. Was he making his move? No one was here so he was free to do anything he liked. He throws the jacket on the couch. He sits down on the end of his secretary’s desk with both of his hands on each side of him. He keeps smiling at me but I look away.
“So what this different name thing? Did you just want to see a psychiatrist in secret?”
“Something like that” I quickly look at him
“Is this about your sister? Did she really kill herself because of me?”
“Yes” I only say and look away again
“I’m sorry she did. That must have been really difficult for you and your family. I really am sorry. She was unstable and had a really difficult time. But I can’t take responsibility for what my patients do. It’s their decision and I can’t help it”
I’m boiling inside and I want to scream at him but I keep it inside. I look at him upset.
“You followed her even if she said to leave her alone. She couldn’t go or do anything. Nothing helped. You drove her to kill herself. It’s all your fault and you should get jailed for that”
He stands up and gets closer to me.
“And yet here you are. You can’t be that mad at me. If you were you wouldn’t be here with me” He tries to touch my hair but I step back “Come to think of it, you do look a bit like her”
“Please take me home like you promised”
“I thought about you when I made love to my wife last night. It made the sex even better” He looks up and down at me without touching

It wasn’t that unpleasant but still, I wanted to refuse him. His eyes were darker in the dim light. He was the same person but still different. Yesterday I felt some kind of connection with him but it all changed when I saw what he did with the girl. He’s in the sensitive state so I ask him about the girl.
I lay my left hand behind the back of his neck and the other on his abs. I look closely at him while I talk.
“Tell me about the girl”
“What girl?” He tries to kiss me but I move my head backwards
“Don’t touch. You’re in my command” I look upset at him and he smiles “Tell me about her”
“Well, she’s a patient that I treated for about a year. Treated is not the word. It’s a lesson” He looks into my eyes
“Lesson of what?” I caress his neck
“Sex” He tries to kiss me again but I refuse him
“Is that her problem or is it yours?”
“Is this your way of foreplay? If it is I like it”
“Shh, I ask the questions” I take my left hand away
“OK. It’s both I guess. I want it but she doesn’t. My turn now” He tries to touch me but I take a grip of his wrist
“Is it safe or do you harm her?”
“You mean rape. I don’t do that. She’s willing” He pauses “Wait a minute, how did you know about all of this?”
“I followed you” I say without realizing it might upset him
“Oh yeah. Curious, are you?” He smiles but stops when he sees my upset look
“You followed my sister so I decided to do it to you too”
“But you failed because. Um, you feel something for me?”
“No. I didn’t want to sink as low as you” I move away from him
“OK, you got a point there. Like I said, I’m sorry about your sister. I guess I’ve acted like an ass after that”
“So you admit that. Joanna’s death really did affect you”
“Actually, I didn’t know until a year later” He sits down on the couch

He really was sincere. He didn’t want to hurt me. I didn’t think he would open up to me like this. What I didn’t really understand were Chrystal’s reactions. Was she afraid of him or did she have a problem of her own? I sit down on the couch beside him.
“Was it true that it was Chrystal’s idea to get married?”
“No, it was mine. I didn’t want to be alone and then I met her. She was a perfect choice at the time. But then I met you” He looks at me “I didn’t show it because I didn’t want fall in love again”
I look at him in doubt. Now he must be lying.
“Oh please. You can’t fool me”
“It’s true. I’m actually ready to change. We had such a great connection the second time we met. I didn’t want anyone else after that. I understand you don’t believe me”
“Hell no. Not after the way you tried to sleep with me. Then all of this psychiatrist nonsense. Analyzing me”
“But you lied about that. I knew the second you described your problem. I just played along”
“OK then we are both liars” I smile for a while but then stop “But it cost me 400 pounds”
“Oh that. I apologize. I was upset. You don’t have to pay. I wasn’t really helpful” He looks at the time “I should take you home. It’s already 11 pm”
I hadn’t realized we were still at the office. It had been a strange day and evening. I wasn’t afraid anymore. This turned out quite productive. Clara would be upset since I didn’t call her. She would be furious I had decided to skip rest of the plan. We had decided to see each other even if he was still married. It was too early to say how things would turn out next.

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