My Story

This is a memoir about my life

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4. Chapter 4

Eighth grade was when things started to look up. I had a boyfriend from another school and life was great. My dad had left Austin and I alone when things started to go south. We were just kissing innocently when his hands started to wander. This was something new to me, so I wasn’t ready for it. I grabbed his hands and moved them to a more appropriate position.

“Austin, I’m not ready.” I try to reason with him, but his eyes grew darker and he tried again. “Austin, no. I don’t know when my dad will be home.” This still didn’t work as he pushed me back on the couch. I felt so dirty as his hands roamed over me. I kept pushing on him, but he had other plans. He lifted up my shirt and held me down to keep me in place.

Just when I thought Austin had one, My dad came home and Austin jumped off of me. He grabbed my face and harshly whispered in my ear. “Don’t you dare say a fucking word. Got it?” I nodded and painted on a fake smile while the day continued on. I was terrified to tell anyone, so I didn’t. I just continued to fake my relationship until I realized I still had feelings for my ex girlfriend. There was my way out. There was my escape! So, I broke it off with a very pissed off Austin.

Jordan McAdoo said yes to be my girlfriend about a week after that. We were having a great time, although we couldn’t be public. I loved her with all of my being. However when I’m involved, no good thing goes unpunished. We went to youth group with Gianna and her boyfriend, Cody. Just looking at Austin sent my anxiety in a frenzy. Austin calmed me down, but then his eyes turned completely back.

    “How dare you leave me!” He pushed me away from him as I stood there shocked and crying. “I-I-” He cut me off while throwing me down to the ground. “Pathetic” one kick. “Slut” there’s the second kick. Jordan and Gianna stood there watching me in fear. He went to kick me again, but was pulled away from me by Cody. I scrambled to my feet and ran to the van still trembling with fear. I couldn’t talk about his eyes to anybody. No one knew the demons behind his blue eyes.

Jordan and I didn’t last very long after that. She wouldn’t tell her mom about us and said my anxiety was too much for her to handle. All again I was alone, and I didn’t think that anything could change that.

 
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