Being Amber

Without any memory of her past and not knowing why people react to her as they do, Amber has to learn to survive in the hard underworld of the City, among gangs and the unwanted citizens.
Her appearent resemblance with Ben's dead girlfriend, places her in the middle of a war that easily can cost her and others their lives.
In her quest to find her identity Amber has to learn to tell friend from foe, see behind the lies and decide if Ben's past matters at all.
When Ben asks Tom to train Amber he gets pulled into the war happening around him, far more than he wants to be.
Tom's alliance with Ben hangs in a thin tread when he not only falls in love with Amber but also starts a relationship with Kattie, who already has a boyfriend in Clay, Ben's second in command.
Will Amber ever find out who she really is ?
And how Will they get through the war ?

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24. Revealing the lies and the truth

 

 *Amber*

 Kattie and I had only just stepped out from the basement, having just sent the members out on their sales routes, when we found Zombie standing in front of us, as always he had Alec, Sam and Shine with him. His usual bodyguard.

 "Morning ladies". Zombie smiled his usual smile and seemed surprised to see us, even if it was clear he had been waiting for us.

 "We don't have time for idiots". Kattie snapped at him. She was tired in the mornings, lately more than usual. I had learned a long time ago that this wasn't the time a day to cross her.

 "Well then I suggest that you make time". All friendliness was gone from Zombie, his voice was sharp,and his eyes bore into Kattie. "There is someone I would love for you to meet".

 "Not now". Kattie sighed. She hadn't drawn any weapons and she seemed quite relaxed. I had started getting nervous though.

 "Oh but I think you might know him". Zombie smiles and turns toward a black car that is parked on the other side of the road. I hadn't noticed it before now. He waved once and a man that looked to be in the middle of his thirties stepped out. He was dressed in a suit and tie and looked to be utterly out of place.

 "Toph". Kattie blew out a pent up breath. She wasn't the least tired anymore, now she was as tense as a bow string. This stranger was apparently a much bigger threat than Zombie. Kattie handed me her phone. "Call Tom now".

 Several of our members had turned up around us, ready to step in if Kattie gave the signal. Kattie turned to the nearest and asked him to take over mine and hers sales routes.

 My voice was shaking lightly, when Tom picked up his phone and I asked him to come. He knew straight away that something was wrong. "Zombie". That was all I could say. And the only think I needed to say.

 "Hold on, I am on my way". Tom hung up and my attention turned to Kattie and Zombie. Kattie and this new man was staring at each other, like they expected the other one to spontaneous combust if they just stared long enough.

 "I can't believe you dare set foot here". Kattie hissed angrily after a way to long silence. Zombie was standing relaxed with his arms crossed on his chest and enjoyed the show happening in front of him. "You don't belong here anymore".

 "And she has never belonged here". He nodded towards me. "But you were never going to tell her that were you ?"

 "Get Ben". Kattie turned towards the nearest member. "Find him, now!" I could hear the panic in her voice. She tore her eyes from the man in the suit and grabbed my hands, looking directly into my eyes. "Amber, you are Amber and you belong here".

 "A lie". The man in the suit said. "When were you going to tell her that her name is really Sarah Noble, was born into a fortune and should have been married almost 10 months ago ?" He asked.

 "Who are you ?" I could hear the insecurity in my own voice.

 He lifted his right hand, showing of a golden ring on his ring finger. "So your friends never told you that they found a ring on your finger, when they found you ?" His smile was almost charming. "An engagement ring ? Weird when we know they almost instantly found out that I was your fiancee and came to inform me where you were". I didn't recognise him. It was possible thatnhe was lying.

 I hoped he was lying.

 But if it was a lie, why was Kattie on the verge of a panic then ? I could feel her panic in myself, not for,the same reasons, but panic. A knot growing in my chest making it hard to breathe.

 "Amber...". Kattie placed her hands on my shoulders. "I can explain..".

 "You took my engagement ring ?" My voice was slightly shaking with anger.

 "You didn't have a ring on when we found you". Kattie said lowering her eyes, before she let go of me. "And we didn't look for it either".

 She pulled herself up and turned confident to the man in the suit. "Are you sure you want to continue this ?" She asked. "Completely sure you are ready for YOUR secret to come out ?"

 "It is to late Kattie". Toph answered with an indiffirent shrug. "Sarah knows you lied to her. And Sarah is going to leave the underworld with me".

 Kattie had just pulled her knife, when Ben and Tom arriwed at the same time. Tom quickly took the knife from Kattie and Ben stepped in front of me, looking into my eyes.

 "Amber!" He turned me around, so I couldn't see any of the others. "Please let me explain ?" His eyes was to attractive. The look on his face made me want to forgive him right here and now, just as it always did.

 "So you can tell her more lies ?" Toph cut in. "Were you ever going to tell her that you always knew who she is ? That you have known all this time that her name is Sarah Noble ? That she is engaged to me ? That the only reason you are keeping her, was because you saw a possibility to get your beloved Amber back ?"

 "Amber, don't listen to him". Ben begged me, his eyes were desperate. "You know why I kept you. You know why I gave you that name and you forgave me. You remember right ? You forgave me because the drugs broke me".

 "Yeah yeah the drugs you gave up". It came from Zombie. "And then what ? When she became Amber and you could no longer use the drugs as an excuse. What is your excuse now ?"

 "And what is yours ?" I turned to Zombie, feeling anger roll trough me. "Apparently you knew too. And as far as I know you have never been on drugs, so what is your excuse ? That it fitted you very well if Ben created a new Amber ? Did you hope that I would fall for you like she did ? Why didn't YOU tell me the truth ?" I yelled at him.

 Tom was the one stepping forward, gently grabbing my hands. "So now you know your name is Sarah Noble. But does thatntell you who you are ? Du you know at all who Sarah Noble is ?" I stared at him with confusion. "Giving you a name wont give you an identity. The name Amber didn't give you an identity either, your training and your actions did. You know what your name is, but you still don't remember who you are".

 "Don't listen to him, he has always been to smooth. He lied to you as well". Toph said.

 "You had marks after being abused. You still carry the scars". Tom's hands, ran over the scars on my wrists. "You had been raped. Should I have given you a name and risked you going back to that ?" His face was a mask of pain and sadness. "It wasn't a happy life you came from and you have the chance of putting it behind you".

 "Oh do shut up with the bullshit Tom. Like I am not capable of protecting her from her own father". Toph said.

 "Oh yeah and then Toph here was your fiancee. My fondest memory of him was when he shot his girlfriend at ponit blank right after she had given birth to his son". Tom turned his head looking at Toph. The pain was gone now, instead there was cold anger. "I was 15 and Kattie was 14, when you committed murder right in front of us".

 Everyone was staring at Toph. Even Zombie. Alec and Shine, who was the closest to him took a step away from him.

 "Is that true ?" Zombie was looking at Toph. There was aversion in his eyes. "Here you are telling me that your grief over Louisiana's death in childbirth was what made you leave, and now I found out you killed her yourself ?"

 "You should have said it". Ben said, looking from Tom to Kattie. "Everyone should have known what he did".

 "We were very young, we wanted to forget it". Kattie defended them. "When Tom confronted him later he disappeared. So it wasn't relevant. Not before he decided to come back".

 "It doesn't matter any longer. Sarah know you all lied to her". Toph's eyes were resting on me now. "Come home with me darling. Become my wife as you were ment to be. You don't owe anything to these people, who has lied to you". He reached for me and I stared at his hand. "I can protect you".

 "Against what ?" I took a step back. "I don'r even know what it is I need protection against".

 "Your father". KC stepped up beside me. "Against more scars and marks on your body". There was no panic or insecurity in his voice. "But what he can't protect you against is the boredom it is to be a daugther of the upper-class. All the rules to follow, all the prohibitions there is. That is what he wants to drag you back to. He wants to remove every trace of Amber and turn you into some pretty little trophy wife without a brain. That was what we saved you from, when we hid the truth. That is what we would always save you from, because you are one of us". KC looked at me.

 "I.. I need some time". I was backing away from all of them. "Just.. give me time". I looked pleadingly at Ben. He had to understand that I needed to think.

 "You can't be out here all alone". Tom grabbed for my hand.

 "Yes I can". I said apologetic and then I ran.

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