To Love Chaos

This chronologically takes place after If Only She Had, but is technically the first in the series.

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1. To Love Chaos

 

Note: Although this series has chronological order (In chronological order: If Only She Had, To Love Chaos, The House in the Valley, and Avenged), you should probably read them in order of the series. 

 

•••

 

    As a recently-widowed father of four, the free time that River Heeler got was spent trudging around town. He watched the children play in the streets with a melancholy smile. His own two children had left him long ago, one adopted child had married off, and the other adopted child was getting to the age where she would have to move soon. He missed being a father— a real father, rather than just one that you’d go to only if you were in dire need of help. His first son, Jacob, who was just over nineteen years of age, had married a striking young woman by the name of Katey little over six months. His second eldest son, the one named Weaver, had moved out just after Jacob had married, feeling that if his crazy, good-in-the-looks-but-not-in-the-books brother could get married, so could he. So Weaver moved far off to find his soul mate, even though he was only seventeen. Tyson, River’s first adopted child, had married a homely twenty-nine-year-old woman two weeks ago, at the age of seventeen. His last adopted child, a beautiful girl of sixteen named Millvexka whom he had adopted only about five months ago, had no intention of moving out, but it would seem inappropriate if she wasn’t married by next year. She’d be doomed to the life of an old maid. Millie— she disliked being referred to by her full first name— wasn’t interested in being married so soon, though. She felt like love had to be forced if it happened so fast.

    River sighed. He had a plan to get Millie married. He’d bring over Jacob and Tyson. When she saw how happy they were, she’d have to realize that marriage was great! But there was one problem, a small one, and it was Jacob was a stranger to Millie. Millie had arrived a month after Jacob had married. She had quickly bonded with Mr. River, but she had never seen nor heard nor spoke to Jacob.

    River rolled the plan over and over in his head, then shook his head. It wouldn’t work. It was a flimsy plan. He tossed it to the side and continued his walk.

--

    When she heard the door shut, Millie burst out running from her room, barefooted so as to keep the maids from hearing her. Her purple dress was, thankfully, very light and easy to move in. She had made it herself; she used an old bedsheets to make it. She didn’t even bother to check her reflection— she didn’t need to. She scarcely had to brush her blonde hair before it was straight, and she didn’t bother to cover up her light freckles that fell on her nose. She would have at most three hours to spend at The Siren, so she didn’t want to have to leave early because of her hair falling down or her make-up messing up.

    She ran barefoot across the street, then turned into an alley. There she saw the door to The Siren. She knocked on it.

    A man opened the door, looking Millie over. “Your last name?”

    “Heeler,” she said, and the man slowly stepped aside.

    As soon as she walked in, her blue eyes lit up at the size of the hangout, one that was made specifically for the wealthy. There was a large floor for dancing, a large stage for performers, and an extremely large bar for just sitting and talking.

    Millie walked up to the bar and sat gently down at the bar. A tall man with a beautiful, long, shiny, black ponytail and the most enticing green eyes sat on the barstool beside her. He wore a suit and gloves that were a dark black, and he wore a small frown. When he saw Millie sit down beside him, though, he smiled gently at her. “Hello, ma’am.”

    Millie smiled at him, slightly nervous next to the beautiful stranger. “Hello, sir.”

    “What brings you here today?” said the man.

    “I…really don’t know,” answered Millie, frowning slightly

    “You don’t know?” he asked, and Millie shook her head. “Maybe I could help you…figure out.”

    Millie grinned as she saw a smirk spread across his face.

    The beautiful man’s teeth shone as his smirk turned into a broad smile. “My name is Jacob. Yours?”

    “Millvexka,” she said, cringing as she said it. “Millvexha Heeler.”

    A perked up slightly at the last name, but passed it off as if he was surprised by the first name. “That’s…ah, quite the name,” laughed Jacob. 

    “Yes, it is. That’s why I go by Millie.”

    “Ah. Much better.”

    Millie giggled. She liked this Jacob already.

 

---

 

    Millie and Jacob spoke for what seemed like forever, though to others it was two hours and thirty minutes. They laughed, joked, gossiped, and, most of all, flirted. 

    “…time that should have happened,” finished Jacob, and Millie laughed.

    Then she frowned. “My parents…well, my father, at least— my mother is dead… has been bugging me to get married, but I haven’t found someone I love yet, so I can’t really get married,” Millie sighed and looked at the ground. “Still, he persists. And I’m afraid he will until I’m forced to marry someone I hate.”

    Jacob nodded. “I can understand your frustration with love. I thought that I loved someone, just recently, but then she showed me only hatred.” Jacob looked at the ground. “I really thought she loved me back.”

    Silence came between the two. 

    Then, Jacob looked up at Millie with a smile. “But now I’ve found another.”

    Millie looked up at Jacob, staring him in the eyes. 

    “I love you, Millie,” said Jacob.

    Millie was surprised, but not as surprised as when she heard herself reply, “I love you, too, Jacob.”

    “I love you, Millie,” repeated Jacob.

    “I love you, too, Jacob.”

    “I love you.”

    “I love you.”

    “I love you.”

    “I love you.”

    “Can I kiss you?” said Jacob.

    “Y-Yes,” stammered Millie.

    And Jacob leaned over and kissed Millie slowly on the lips. It was tender, loving, and passionate. Millie blushed when he pulled back. She glanced at the clock, then back at Jacob.

    “I must be getting home soon. M-May…”

    Jacob’s eyebrows creased. “May you… what?”

    “May I see you again?”

    

---

    

    Millie looked up at the small black house, the one that belonged to Jacob. She was meeting him here today. She had told her father about her beau, and he’d approved. He said he sounded like a decent man and agreed to let her go to his house. She’d finally be able see the “surprise” that Jacob said would have to wait until she visited him. 

    She raised her hand to rap on the door, then paused before she knocked. It seemed like the world around her made her pause. She was frozen, for just a second, then she finally knocked four times on the door.

    Jacob’s handsome face answered the door. His face lit up when he saw her. “Millie! How wonderful! Come in, come in!”
    Millie smiled at him and came inside the comfy house.

    “Feel free to sit anywhere you’d like in the living room,” said Jacob, rustling in the kitchen.

    “Thank you, Jacob,” she said, taking the red armchair that sat beside the ashy fireplace.

    Jacob came back with two cups of tea on saucers. He handed one to her and took the other for himself. He sat across from her.

    Millie took a sip from her tea. “You promised a surprise for when I came, and now that I’m finally here…”

    A wicked-looking smile crept across his face, but it quickly softened. “Ah, straight to the point, are we?”
    Millie giggled. “I suppose maybe I am.”

    The smile on his face broadened. “Well, Millie…have you ever wanted children?”

    Millie smiled. “Yes. I want to have two children. Two and only two.”

    “Why two?” Jacob raised an eyebrow.

    “Because…I like the number two,” Millie said, raising an eyebrow in response.

    Jacob nodded. There was a short pause.

    “I could be the father of those two children, Millie,” said Jacob.

    Millie nodded. “I suppose you could. If we marry soon, we—“

    “I said nothing of marriage.”

    Millie’s eyebrows creased together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

    “I think you know.”

    As he said that, Millie gasped. “You’re suggesting that we—!”
    “Yes, Millie, I am.”

    Millie sat, startled, not knowing what to say.

    Jacob stood and walked over to her chair. “We could. Right here, right now. I’ll give you children. I’ll make you happy. I’ll even take you to meet my father this weekend.” There was a strange, sly tone in the last sentence. “All you have to do is say yes to this. Will you?”

    Millie’s mind yelled, No! That is a foolish decision! 

    But her body pulled more, and so she nodded slowly. “Y-Yes.”

    Jacob grinned and kissed her, and Millie forgot the world around her for a while.

 

---

 

    Millie knocked on Jacob’s door. Jacob answered immediately, and a devious smile spread across his face. 

    “You ready to go, my dear?” he asked.

    “Mmmhmm,” she said, nervous.

    Jacob smile turned darker when he saw how nervous she was. “I would have gotten us a carriage, but the distance is too short. Besides, I like to feel the scenery, not just look at it.”

    “Mmmhmm,” repeated Millie.

    “Let’s be off then,” said Jacob.

    And so they were off, Jacob looking straight forward and Millie looking down and only down.

---

    About fifteen minutes later, Jacob stopped in front of a large manor. It gleamed with gold and silver, and the doorknob was pure diamond. 

    “We’re here,” said Jacob.

    Millie looked up and saw a house that looked almost exactly like her own. She thought this strange, but nothing more.

    Jacob frowned at Millie and knocked on the door. 

    The door was answered a few seconds later by a man with thinning brown hair and a long brown beard. The man’s green eyes lit up as soon as he saw his son. 

    “Jacob!” he said. “I see you caught Millie on the way to see her beau.”

    Millie’s mind whirled when she saw her own father standing in the doorway and her lover—her brother— staring back at her, a chilling grin on his face. It was all that she could do not to break down and cry.

 

---

 

    The next few days were smudged as Millie forced herself to carry on. She was disgusted with herself that the man that she fell for was her brother— her brother. Even if they were only related by adoption, it was still sick. And even sicker was that he knew that she was his sister. It seemed that was the only reason why he wanted her, because now that she knew, he hadn’t spoken to her. She was angry at herself for falling in love and for agreeing to let Jacob do that to her. But most of all, she was heartbroken. She couldn’t marry the man she lov— thought she loved. She may’ve had his child in her. But he was her brother, and he didn’t love her, and that was that. The end of their love story. But one sick part of herself wanted to marry him. Wanted to have still done that with him, even if she had known. Wanted to have known. Sadly, though, you can’t change the past, as much as you want to, and Millie knew that. 

    She drug herself out of bed one day, went to The Siren, and met a dull man named Avery. She got to know him, and he wasn’t too bad, just dull and nothing compared to her ex-lover, the one that had turned out to be her brother. Still, she found herself “falling in love” with him, but it was all empty on her side. They met up almost every day for a month, and then married at the end of the month. 

    Millie felt empty inside.

    Her stomach was growing, bit by bit, and, six months after she and her lo—brother had agreed to try for a baby, she felt something move in her stomach. Not just food, but a living child. A child of her own.

    And that may have been the only living part of her.

 

 

---

 

    When the midwife came to help Millie give birth, Avery left the room to give her space. He thought over his wife with love. She would have his child—a true part of him— and it would be wonderful.

    Not too long after he had left, Avery was called into the room again. He looked at the bed and smiled. Two beautiful, black-headed babies, one a girl and one a boy, sat to their mother’s chest, suckling, their green eyes glowing in what little light was in the room.

 

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