Liquid Light

I was frustrated during my time spent in Cuba. I met Damon Santos. He is handsome I have to admit but very annoying, conceited, and very arrogant. He turns out to be my artifact. This made me not trust him and I wanted to kill him.

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4. First Date

That first date turned out to be one of many.  We dated for two months and he asked me to marry him and I had to say yes.  I was in love with him way before I would admit to myself or anyone else. There were times I was scared.

We waited to make love until we got married.  He probably thought I was crazy.  But that was what I wanted and he agreed with me.  I thought more of him as he did this one thing for me.  I was still worried since I had never been in love before.  

I wanted more than anything to please him.  I wanted to be the blushing bride and take pleasure with him.  But the first night I found I couldn't.  I cried instead.  I tried to pretend but after he fell to sleep I could not stand the way I acted.

He had to know something was wrong with me.  I would agree with him.  My past would not let me enjoy my husband.  I could not stop myself from shutting down.  I never answered his questions.  This was my problem and my past and I had to get through it on my own.  

The first couple of months was my best time in the world.  He was my star,  my love,  my Prince,  my everything.  I was happy with him yet I knew he could not be happy.  That killed me inside and out.  He was so loving to me and gave me such respect.  

There were times he tried to tell me he wanted children but I would make an excuse and not answer.  Children was something I never wanted.  I was taking the pill and yet I still got pregnant.  He was so excited and happy,  I knew then I would give him what he wanted.

The day I had the baby was his happy day and the more I was around him,  the more I came to love him in my way.  But I knew he would no longer love me.  It was all about the baby.  I did not have the pleasure of having his heart.  It belonged to the baby.  

The baby as he grew was so handsome and loving like his father. I loved him because my husband loved him.  He still loved me and showed it each day.  Yet I was so scared of losing him.  I knew in my mind that he would abandon me.  Every time he took the baby with him.  I would sit and cry and tell myself they were leaving me.

He should have been mine but he longer was.  I am jealous of my own baby.  I hate myself for this.  

I was so in love with him that I did not want to share him with anyone.  I kept thinking he was going to leave me.  After all he had the baby now!  

I stared having so many fears that I started following him no matter where he went and would listen to his calls.  I went through his pockets to see if I could find another woman's number.  It was the fact that his job had him to travel a lot and I knew it.  I had no reason to be jealous and yet I was.  

He would talk about vampires and I wanted to know why!  How does he know about vampires?  Why is he worried about vampires?

  The more he talked about them on the phone.  The more I wanted to know about vampires.

He talked about one vampire a lot and wanted him found and killed.  Why?  I had to find out.  This made me wonder if he believed in vampires!  But how could he?  I was getting so much information about vampires that he found my papers and asked me why I wanted to know about vampires?  I hated myself more and more.  I would listen in on him even at work.  

When it became more and more of vampires that I wanted to learn more.  I started to research them.  He was really upset with me when he found out what I was doing.

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