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3. I have no friends...




Hey guys its ya girl Al.

So recently I've been beginning to notice that my friend group or social life is actually not relevant what so ever. I have barely any friends and if I do its probably my best friend who I barely see because I moved or the 2 other girls I never talk to bc my mom won't let me hang out and someone stole my phone. Even with a phone though. I was always the one calling people and I barely did that. No one at school who claimed were my friends really cared to hit me up out of school, yet i noticed them doing it to everyone else. Was it because I didn't have an iphone? All AP courses? I always felt so alone and left out in school and I never knew why. I would always block it out and forget how i felt until I blew up. Today my brother said if he could go to a party. he's 12. I'm a couple years older than him & in highschool and my mom said way more than she would ever say to me asking. "I'll think about it". with me its always "NO." the first try. It's not like I have sex and do drugs and drink and party. I don't even go out. I said something like woah a 12 year old going to a party, if I even dared to ask... and my brother said bc I can be trusted or something. I said dude I don't even have any friends to do anything with let alone be rebellious. He said that's true. He said "wow A, I legit have more friends than you." my mom goes, don't say that, you only have fake friends. I said "you have to have for them to be fake." I never really had Friends. I have had a friend or 2, but as soon as our classes change or they meet new people, then oh well. Ever since I was little. Daycare and all. Yes I remember being in daycare and kindergarten. I always stayed by the teacher and my mom and dad never noticed. Until one teacher parent conference in 6th grade. This teacher was trying to tell my mom that I needed more love and stuff and appreciation and maybe I'll do better on my grades. Because she's tried it in school with me and it worked. Because that's really how I felt. I always felt like that. Still never got it. Add getting bullied to the mix. it was horrible. I moved away from there to where I am now and its still bad but not really. only in the house. I take out how i feel and turn it into anger for my family. im tired of talking 

thanks ily bye

stay radical.

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