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5Likes
28Comments
850Views
AA

6. For YaPrtyMuch

Outcasts

Cover:

I thought the cover was good, it maybe could've been better but I think it described your story well, so good job on that.

Plot:

I think your plot of how Mettaton's father wants him to get a girlfriend and be more like a boy. Is a good plot, because that kinda helps your story go along and there could be so many possible outcomes from that one plot. Then you have another plot where Mettaton wants to confront his cousin of his eating disorder but when he does he kinda brushes him off, I thought that was a well written plot too.

Punctuation:

Over all I didn't really see any mistakes that really stood out, so good job on that, because most people (and me too) struggle with things like that.

Characters:

I loved your characters and how they could understand one another, and I thought it was so cute. Just the way they can talk to each other kind of openly is nice. (I also thought they were so cute together.)

Thanks so much for letting me review this story I really loved it, and sorry this is kinda a short review.

Happy Writing!!

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