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AA

5. For IAmYourNemisis

Messed Up Things

Cover:

I think your cover kinda sends the creepy vibe which is good because you story is on supernatural, and ghost stuff, which normally freaks people out. I love how you mixed the creepy eyes with, galaxy colours, that made me very intrigued, and I couldn't wait to start reading your story. Also your title is very intriguing because 'Messed Up Things' makes you think, is there ghosts who ruin things or people trying to take over the world. There's so many things that title could say about your story.

Plot:

I liked how you always kept it fresh and never stayed on something too long, like how you had Evelyn wondering what was wrong with Mara and why she went through all these changes to, the girl and how she waited a long time to find answers to her powers so she decided to show them off. When you had Reagan show Evelyn the videos and then you had the chapter on the girl I was thinking is it the same person, and I was always thinking, 'what's gonna happen next' and I would think one thing and then something else would happen and it would surprise me. When you reviled that Mara wasn't eating an wouldn't tell anyone, and then they thought Valeri was dead I really freaked out. And that last chapter where Ember killed all those people, that was amazing. Your story kept the reader interested the whole story so very well done there!

Punctuation:

There weren't really any major punctuation mistakes I saw, just some things like you one put something like;

'She want to tell them.' Instead of,

'She wanted to tell them.'

Just things like that are minor and can be sometimes skipped over but that's completely fine because the reader still understands what you meant.

Characters:

Now personally my favorite character was Valeri because she was just so confident and. Had the sass and wouldn't let anyone talk shit to her or her friends, I also really enjoyed her arguing with people.

But the overall way your characters were very cool, because they all came from different backrounds and were still able to talk and act normal around eachother. Like Raegan was rich and Valeri was poorer, but Raegan still cried when she thought Valeri was dead, showing that they were bestfriends and came from different backrounds made this story very interesting the read. I also liked how your characters were relatable, because some stories you read the characters are perfect and have no imperfections at all, but your characters have they're strengths and weaknesses and they're not perfect, which I found very relatable, because I'm not perfect and I don't know anyone who really is.

Normally I wouldn't read a supernatural story, but after reading your I might read more under that genre because this was a very well written story.

(I'm still trying to figure out who Ember is, I think it's Mara from the way you described her but honestly I have no idea.)

I would recommend this story to people who like supernatural, secrets and thrilling things because this story has characters hiding secrets and supernatural things.

Thank you so much for letting me review your story, I loved it!

Happy Writing!

Emily xx

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