The accidential Hacker

Harriet is a struggling painter.. One day she accidentially hacks into someone computer and it turns her whole life upside down

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47. Talking with Shekinah

 

 2 weeks later

 *Zac POV*

 Mike and I am sitting on the couch, both lost in our own books with a cup of tea. Mike's phone buzz and he looks on a message. I hear a lot of noise from his phone, it is clearly from a premiere or something. I look up, I know from Mike that Harriet is going to a big charity galla tonight. "Is that Harri?"

"Yeah. Get your laptop, you need to see this." He says and I pick up my laptop from the table, going to the side Mike tells me to go to.

I sit mesmerised as I watch her on the screen. I don't know what I expected her to look like but she is glowing, radiant and looking completely comfortable as she walks down the red carpet. I feel my stomach go into a knot and my eyes well up, God I miss her. 

 I take my phone from my pocket to write a message to her, but can't of think what to say. I haven't really spoken to her since she left, and I have promised to give her space. She certainly seems to be thriving without me. I put the phone back on the table.

"Wow. Just, wow." Mike says. "She looks amazing".

"She's pretty special, huh?" I say. "I know you'll talk to her tonight or tomorrow, please give her my congratulations, tell her she looked wonderful. She belongs there. I'm really happy for her."

"Why don't you... where are you going?" Mike asks.

 "To bed. I'm tired and I have an early start." I close the door softly and lean against it for a few moments. Why does doing what is best for Harriet, what will make her happiest and give her the best chance of success, have to hurt so much?

 

The next day

*Harri POV*

 "Hello, lovely, oh you have really started to show now." Shekinah says. "I was just watching you from last

nights gala, you looked beautiful, perfect dress."

"Hi hon. It's really good to see you." I say, I am meeting Shekinah for lunch. "How's it going?"

"Good, everyone is fine, how is Zac doing ? Is he remembering to watch out for himself"

 "Good as far as I know, Mike say he seems much better and he does as he is told". I say, keeping my eyes on the menu.

"You haven't talked to him yourself lately though?" She asks.

"I haven't spoken to him since I came back. He wanted some space. We both needed some space to make some decisions." I say with a sigh.

"Oh honey. I don't even know what to say. You two are so amazing together, I don't understand." She says, grabbing my hand in hers.

I had hoped this could be avoided, that she already knew, I know she had talked to Zac. "You said on the phone that he told you what happened."

"He said some things were said, he didn't really go in to detail." She tells me.

"Shekinah, your brother is an amazing man and I love him dearly. But he basically told me if I was going to worry about him then we shouldn't be together." I say, looking up.

"Huh?"

"For a man who is so well spoken, highly intelligent, and has such a way with words, he can say some stupid stupid things." I shake my head. "Mike thinks he's struggling with the idea that I don't need him any more. That I'm standing on my own feet, doing my own thing, and loving every second of it. Maybe he doesn't know where he fits in, and he thinks he's holding me back."

"Men are stupid." Shekinah says rolling her eyes.

I laugh loudly. "That is exactly what I said! So he told me to go away and think about it. And that is what I am doing."

"And?"

"And I know what I want. I want to be with him. Hell I want to be his wife some day. But not like this. I need him to see that it's a partnership, we're two individuals who have our own lives, and that works for us. We support one another, it doesn't always have to be one sided." I pause and think for a moment.

"I want him to want to be with strong and confident Harriet as much as weak and needy Harriet. I'm proving to myself that I can have a career with or without him, that I can shine either way. I'm not doing it to hurt him or spite him. I want to be with him, but I don't want to be just his girlfriend or wife. Sometimes he's almost too supportive, like he thinks if he doesn't push me I'll just give up and follow him around. Him and Mike made the decision for me to come back here, and they talked about me like I wasn't in the room! For a long time I didn't trust my own instincts, I didn't think I could be trusted to make my own decisions. I do now, and I want to. I feel like he's second guessing everything I do, he thinks I'll do whatever is right for him, not for me." I say.

"You need to talk to him, Harriet." Shekinah says.

"I know. But I want him to take time and think about it too. And how do I know he wasn't giving me a way out because that's what he wants? Maybe he wants me to leave. Why else would he try so hard to talk me out of being with him him?" I bite my lip to will away the teats.

"I know him better than most people, and I can tell you now he loves you. He wants to be with you, actually I know he wan't to marry you, he told me. Zac doesn't do things like this lightly." She says.

"He doesn't say things lightly, either. So why did he suddenly want me to not care about him?" I ask, I just don't get it.

"He's trying to protect you." She says.

"From what?"

"From him. From his lifestyle, most women would have run for the hills by now and you've embraced it and actually seem to love it. Maybe he thinks you're just trying to keep him happy. He doesn t want you to look back in a few years and wish you'd settled down with some regular joe and had the children and the house and the nine to five job". She shrugs.

"If I wanted that I wouldn't be with him!  And well the kid we are having. You see what I mean about him not trusting me to make decisions? He thinks I can't think for myself so he sent me away for a month to think! He thinks I'm dating 'Zac the celebrity', the successful actor on the red carpet with the screaming fangirls, and that's where it stops. That's part of him, but it's such a small part. The Zac I fell in love with is the one who's computer I hacked, the kind, gentle, loving Zac. The man who was rendered speechless by little old me. And the one who says goodbye to me at the airport without guilt or apology from either of us, because we're doing what we love, and being apart doesn't make me love him any less." Tears well in my eyes and I look down at the floor, taking a sip of coffee.

"Men are stupid". Shekinah said after a few moments, making me laugh. "My brother are no exception. Call him, Harri. Tell him."

"I can't yet. What if..." I draw a shaky breath. "What if he says he's changed his mind? He wants to be single and focus on his career like he was happily doing  before. What if he doesn't want me any more? There are moments where I feel so bulletproof that it doesn't matter. Most of the time the mere thought shatters my heart into tiny pieces and I'm not sure I would survive."

"So you're going to ignore it for a bit longer, until you go back to Shreveport?" She asks me.

"Pretty much." I say.

 

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