The accidential Hacker

Harriet is a struggling painter.. One day she accidentially hacks into someone computer and it turns her whole life upside down

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16. First fight

 

 *Harri POV*

Hot. Hot. Too hot.

I wake up again and realise it is probably almost lunchtime, the sun is blazing high in the sky. The sheets are wet from the shower and Zac is wrapped tightly around me, breathing slowly.

Too hot. I need to move, I feel like I am being suffocated. I slide out of his embrace and sit on the edge of the bed, taking him in. This time tomorrow I will be alone again and he will be on his way to Canada.

I knew this day was coming but now that it is almost here I feel panicked. I honestly isn't sure I can go through with it, let him love me from afar. All those beautiful women he works with, every single day. I kow how easily a role could spill over in to reality and feelings develop between actors. You hear about it happen all the time. 

 I don't even know what he is filming, if he will be kissing another woman, loving another woman, almost every day. What if the temptation and loneliness get too much and he give in to it? The thought alone almost breakes my heart.

I dress quickly in a flowing cream dress, sweep my hair into some semblance of a ponytail and goes quietly downstairs to the deck. The same thoughts keep racing through my mind, I need to protect myself from being hurt like that again, not put my heart directly in danger. I am out of options. Heartbreak now and never see him again, or bigger heartbreak later. 

I put my head down on the table and sigh. Not for the first time the idea of giving up my career and going with him grows in her mind. I  would be close to him all the time, see him every day, go anywhere he went. Keep him in sight. Is that what trust is about? Always being in arms reach in case of temptation. A voice yells in my head, replaying an old conversation: 'I wouldn't have noticed her if you weren't on the other side of the country! If you loved me you wouldn't have left my sight!' I groan out loud in frustration.

"There you are." Zac is leaning against the door frame. I hadn't even heard him coming. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Do you want me to quit my career and come with you?" The question escaped before I had time to retract it.

"No. I mean yes, if that's what you want. But you love what you do. I couldn't ask you to do that. Honestly I think you'd go out of your mind travelling around all the time with nothing to do."

"But I'd be with you." I say softly.

"Are you worried about missing me, or me not missing you." He ask, a bit guarded.

"A bit of both?" That is the truth, but I don't want him to be mad and I tensed.

"Baby, if you want to come with me I will move heaven and earth to make sure we're never apart. But we both love what we do and neither of us would be satisfied being together every day and nothing else." He stopped and sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard and I should have considered the effect on you more thoroughly before.."

"Before what? Taking me out, kissing me, sleeping with me, or telling me you love me and squeezing me into your schedule." I spit the last word and he visibly recoils as though he has been stung. "Zac.. I'm so.."

 He put his hand up and walks inside. "I need a few minutes." He says over his shoulder.

I am suddenly very aware that this isn't my home. I pick up my bag from the kitchen and close the front door softly behind me. I send him a text so he wont worry. 'Please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry. I'm going back to my house, just to give you some space xx'

Tears spring to my eyes as I walk. This wasn't how our last day was supposed to go. I have a beautiful dress picked out because we are going somewhere special for dinner. A few hours ago we hadn't wanted to waste a moment, and now I had to give him time, the one thing we don't have. 'Everything but time'.  I remember the day before, the piano, the emotions.

Opening the front door I collapse on to the carpet, unable to hold it in any longer, sobs racking my body.

It is only a few minutes before Zac cames quietly in the door. I hear him but don't look up, I don't want to face him and don't have the strength. He scoop me up and takes me to the couch, sitting me down on his lap and pulling me in close to his chest.

"I'm so sorry darling". He is choking back tears. "Please let me explain what I meant. I never had a choice in falling for you. I've wanted you since before I met you. But I'm a package deal, and not an easy one to take on. It's not fair to you, to expect you to be OK with all this after this short time together. You're a

remarkably strong woman, Harriet, more than you give yourself credit for. You're scared, I know. And I can't expect you to trust your heart with me when we barely know each other. I won't ask you to do that."

"Wait, are you-" I lift my head to look at Zac's face and realised his cheeks are wet with tears.

"Whatever you need, I'll do it. You want me to check in with you a 100 times a day? Put a tracker on my phone, anything you want. Name it and I'll do it until I've earned your trust. Because I will never, ever, hurt you, my darling. But I don't know how to show you, other than time. I wish I could peek into 5 years from now and show you that it will work out, that we will make it." He lets out a shaky sigh.

I wipe his tears with my fingertips, kissing his cheeks and then his mouth "I don't need any of that, Zac. That's not what trust is about. It's just something I'll have to practice." I hold on to his shirt and look into his eyes.

"I love you, and I'm so sorry for what said." He nuzzled his face into my neck and we sit for what seemed like hours, both of us reflecting on the last couple of weeks.

Eventually Zac pulls my face to his and kiss me. There was nothing left to say, nothing left to do but enjoy the few remaining hours.

"I'm going to let you get ready for dinner and I'll pick you up at 6:30, OK?" He asks softly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You have a lot to take in and I don't want you worrying about anything tonight. Tonight you are all mine." He stand and start for the door, then turn back, pulling me up to him. "I almost forgot." He pulls a long blue velvet box from his pocket and opens it toward me. Inside is a white gold necklace with a

heart shaped diamond pendant.,

Tears begin to tumble down my cheeks again. "It's beautiful, Zac. I don't deserve this". I run a fingertip over the sparkling diamond.

"Yes, you do. Now more than ever. You have my heart, Baby. Only you. And you'll be reminded whenever I'm not with you." He locked the clasp at the back of my neck, the heart sit high in the centre of my chest

"Thank you". Is all I can say. I pull him in close and kiss him slowly, letting my tongue linger on his lips, trying to convey all my feelings through that one kiss.

 

 

 

 

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