The accidential Hacker

Harriet is a struggling painter.. One day she accidentially hacks into someone computer and it turns her whole life upside down


2. Captain hammer


*Harri POV*

A few times a day I would look at the program and wonder if I should call Captain

Hammer again. I had come up with a myriad of reasons for calling, such as asking

his opinion on things from the perfect date outfit, or simply calling to apologise

for all the accusations I threw at him.

Each excuse seemed transparent though, so I resisted. I hoped he might call me

but as the one week anniversary of our odd chat was upon me, I had to conclude

that he wouldn't.

I wasn't really surprised, my dating life recently had been one disaster after the

other. My job doesn't really allow me to meet many new people, so I've been

using dating websites, which seem to be filled with time wasters, sex addicts and


Were there no good men left out there?

At this rate, I was pretty sure that I would become a crazy cat lady. Well, crazy

dog lady; cats don't really like me.

I photographed my latest work and uploaded the pictures to my computer, ready

to list them on my site, when the YouChat window opened, asking if I would

accept a call from Captain Hammer.

My heart fluttered like the wings of a hummingbird as I clicked 'accept'

"Hi," I said, hoping to sound cool but instead, it came out as a breathy sigh.

"Good evening, darling." His face was still mostly in darkness so I couldn't see

many details.

"Its 'darling' now, is it?" I asked

"Well, it's an improvement on calling me an ass."

"Ass's ass," I corrected him, my tone teasing. "So, Captain Hammer, what can I

do for you this fine evening?"

"Oh nothing much, I just felt that my ego might be getting a tad out of control

and I was hoping that you might help me deflate it a little.'"

My cheeks burned from blushing. "Yeah, sorry about that.'"

"No need to apologise, it was highly entertaining." He laughed. He had a lovely

laugh. "So, how is your mother's dating life?”

I shrugged. "Same as."

"Forgive me if I'm talking out of turn, but you seem rather cynical and it strikes

me that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so..”

"Why can't my mother see through these losers?"

"Well, yes"

I sighed. "I probably gave you completely the wrong impression last week. My

Mum is actually pretty great, she's intelligent, assertive and kind. The only areas

she's not great with are computers and men."

"Well computers I can understand, especially for someone of her generation. My

father is quite smart but even he can hardly do anything more than email.'"

'Yeah, well my Mum has even less experience with dating than with computers,"

I answered. "She and my dad met when they were 13, they married when they

were 18, she put him through university, then they had a family and after we kids

were school age, she went back to college and got a history degree. They were a

real team, you know, each supporting the other, the way love should be."

"I'm almost afraid to ask what happened to your father."

I nodded sadly. "Lung cancer. He was a great guy but he smoked like a chimney

So now my mum, who has never really been on her own, doesn't know what to do

with her life."

"Does she have to meet someone?"

"I keep telling her that but her whole life, she's been single for a total of fifteen

years, and married or part of a couple for forty two. I get why it's hard for her, she

wants what she had with my dad again, but dating, especially in this day and age,

is a minefield".

"It's not that bad is it?"

"My last date was texting another girl about hooking up later while I was in the



"Yep. The one before that suggested we go into the toilets at the coffee shop so

could blow him".


"God's honest truth. And I can't tell you how many unsolicited dick pics I've been

sent, it's like the new hello. 'Hi, perfect stranger, here is my penis, don't you want

to fuck me now?"

He laughed. "Oh dear, that does sound awful."

"I might not mind so much, if they actually had something to brag about but

instead, they send pictures of these pathetic excuses for manhoods that make my

skin itch just looking at them, no way are they getting near my lady parts."

"You're a very harsh voung woman," he said, his mirth evident in his voice.

'You're just realising this?" I teased. "Man, I thought you were slow, but I didn't

know you were that slow.

He laughed harder

"I'm sorry," I felt the need to apologise. "The thing is, we show affection in our

family through ridicule and derision. It keeps us grounded, dad used to say".

"Very true, as long as there's love behind it all."

"Oh, there is," I smiled, then suddenly faltered. "With my family, I mean. I'm not

some crazy lady who falls in love with silhouettes on computer screens."

'Falls in lust maybe,'I silently added

"I knew what you meant, darling."

"So are you always going to hide in the shadows, Captain, or do I get to see your


"In the shadows?"

"Yeah, the brightness on your screen must be turned right down, I can hardly see

you. Except when you smile, I think they must be using radioactive fluoride in

your region, your teeth practically glow".

He laughed. "I like to keep my office pretty dark," he explained. "It keeps me

focused and relaxed and when vou're in a dark room, the screen doesn't have to

be as bright."

I harrumphed in what I hopes was a comical fashion. "You just don't want me to

see all the boils and sores covering your face".

"You've got me there, darling, I'd hate to make you itch. I, on the other hand,

have had a perfect view of your milk moustache since we began chatting".

My hand flew to my mouth, wiping frantically and he burst out laughing. "I was

joking, love, you look stunning."

I poked my tongue out at him, it seemed like the mature thing to do

"So, what are you up to tonight?" he asked

"I was just updating my listings."

"Listings? Are you an estate agent?"

"Hey, I'm harsh but I'm not the devil," l teased. "No, I meant my listings on Etsy."

"Oh, you make crafts then?"

"Paintings," I corrected.

"What do you paint?"

"Well..." My cheeks flushed again

"Come on, darling, I promise I won't laugh.

"Portraits?" I said but the hesitation in my voice must have given him a clue that

it wasn't the whole truth.

"Really?" He was onto me.

"Pet portraits," I said softly. "And yes, I know, how kitsch it sounds but it pays the

bills. You're an actor, you can't tell me you haven't taken on some awful roles just

to pay the rent."

"Well that's true. Like playing the hind end of a donkey."

That brought a smile to my lips, despite my shame.

"Can I see any of your work?" he asked

I hesitated for a moment but then decided, what the hell. "I have three accounts,

Harriet's Pets, they're the pet pictures, usually commissioned. I also have the

Geek Freak store front with some pop culture paintings and my original work is

under... Well, that's my real name and since I haven't even got a clue what you

look like, that might not be such a good idea to give out just yet."

He chuckled and I could hear him typing, then his mouse clicking

"These are beautiful!" he suddenly exclaimed.

What are you looking at?" I asked in a small voice.

"A red setter."

"That's Jasper," I smiled. "He's my neighbour's dog and a wonderful subject to

paint for example pictures. Like I say, most of the pet pictures are commissions,

so the ones that are listed aren't for sale."

"And what do you charge for a portrait?"

"From fifty pounds to three hundred, it depends on the canvas size people

commission but the average is about seventy five."

"I think you could charge more," he said, but he was probably just being nice.

"What was the name of your other shop?"

"Geek Freak."

A few more keystrokes and he seemed to have found that store front.

"That is one fantastic Iron Man portrait," he said, while I blushed. "I almost feel

as if he's reaching out of the canvas."

"They're becoming more popular than the pets," I explained. "And I have a little

more freedom with what I want to paint."

"You've got a lot of Loki here."

"He sells well," I said. Surely anyone even vaguely familiar with the Marvel

fandom knew that. "He's my bestseller, in fact."

He was silent for a long while and I began to feel nervous so, in true Harriet style,

I began to babble.

"And the actor is so expressive too, he really runs the gamut from devastatingly

sad to pure evil, so it's fun to play around with that. And his outfit is pretty cool as


"I love this one of Scarlet."

"She's breathtakingly beautiful," I say, feeling on safe ground again. "I'd love to

have her pose live one day. Maybe when I win the lottery.'"

"You play?" he asked

"No." I grinned. "As soon as I moved into my own place, I decided it was a waste

of money, and I'd much rather have Earl Grey tea, than buy tickets for a lottery

with odds of 14 million to one."

"Aah, the struggling artist, forced to choose between wasting money on

impossible odds, or drinking quality tea."

"Yep, first world problems," I laughed, which earned me a grin.

"So, will I ever see your original work?" he asked seriously

"Will I ever see vour face?"

He didn't reply right away and I wondered what his problem was. Maybe he was

disfigured in some way, in which case I felt like a jerk for teasing him earlier.

"Tell you what, why don't you email me pictures of some of your original art

work, that way we can both stay anonymous."

I did have aliases on my email account that I could use. I grabbed a pencil

"Okay, what's your email address ?"

"Nerd001 at-"

I smiled, he really was a geek to have an email address like that.

"Okay, Nerd,I'll send you a few pictures."

"I look forward to it,"

"So what are your scintillating plans for the evening?" I asked

"I have to go out to a party soon." He sounded reluctant.

"Try not to get too excited," I teased and he smiled.

"Oh, they just get so samey after a while, you know?"

"I can't say I do, but I can imagine. Just be glad you chose acting rather than

music, all those young, nubile, sexy groupies, throwing themselves at you night

after night after night. And you think you have it tough."

He laughed

"Anyway, while I'm sitting here all alone, babysitting Jasper, drowning my

sorrows with a tub of Hagen Daz and watching Dirty Dancing, I'll spare a thought

for you and the horrible time you're going through, having to be sociable."

"Don't cut me any slack, will you?"

I grinned. "Of course not, darling

"Oh, so I'm darling now, am I?" he teased

"Well, you're fairly entertaining, so I'm feeling magnanimous," I shrugged. "Now

bugger off and get dressed for this awful party and let me get on with my work."

"As you wish, love. Don't forget to send me those pictures, will you?"


"Good night, Darling."

"Goodnight, ass's ass."

His laughter was the last thing I heard before he terminated the cal.

I shook my head and determinedly got back to updating my listings with my new

paintings, wondering why some faceless voice was making me feel like a love sick

teenager. I'd probably never hear from him again anywav, so having warm fuzzy

feelings about him was kind of pathetic.

"Welcome to my life," I muttered.

I had however, made him a promise so once I was finished updating my e-shops,

opened an email and composed a new message, attaching three of my favourite

non-pet, non-geek related paintings. One was of the coast near my mother's

home, one was a portrait of my best friend, who is unfortunately in

Europe for her work. God, I missed her. She'd have a good laugh with me about

my crush on the mystery man.

The final painting was an abstract one, meant more to convey feeling rather than

look like anything. I'd painted it two years ago, just after my father's death and

it's some of the best work I have ever done. Unfortunately, it's now packed up in

my studio as I can't bear to look at it too often but I also can't bring myself to sell


Shaking the depressing thoughts off, I composed a jaunty message too.


My dearest Captain Hammer.

Please find attached a sample of my work, with not a whisker, horn or arc

reactor in sight.

I do hope your social gathering and the necessity it brings to engage in social

intercourse, isn't too stressful after a hard day of auditioning and rejection, but

if it should prove too much for your delicate, artistic sensibilities, you know

where to find me,

Yours with not an ounce of sincerity,

Dr Horrible


I hit send before I could second guess myself.

My neighbour, David, arrived with Jasper, the red setter, about half an hour later

(his owners spoil him terribly and always leave him with someone when they go

out) and after the requisite small talk, I settled on the sofa with my fury friend.



Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...