All Because of Red

I tune out of my thoughts to hear the crowd shrieking and crying out the lyrics to my new single Red.
A small smile plays at my lips but disappears just as I hear my voice echo out the last line through the arena, "his love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street".

I think of a thought that has been playing in my mind, eating away at the sanity I have managed to salvage for oh so long, "What if he wasn't a he at all, then what would you all think of me"

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3. The Limelight

I squinted my eyes trying to get them to focus.

"And here with us today we have the one and only Taylor Swift" the talkshow host yelled to the viewers with fake excitement obviously in her tone and the biggest smile I'd ever seen plastered onto her face. It looked almost painful to watch.

The lights continued to blind me as I stepped onto the small stage and took a seat as screams filled the room. I gave a small wave and turned to the host as I hear her say "You look a little disoriented sweetheart you ok?" with a small pout on her lips.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her 'caring' voice. But that would only start drama and god knows I don't need anymore of that.

"uh yeah I guess that's what happens when you shine blinding lights into someones eyes" I say with a forced laugh so its not so harsh.

"Oh well looks like someones not feeling all to well" she says facing the audience.

"So the questions?" I try not to snap at her.

"Someone must be jet lagged calm down there" I hear her co host say.

"Oh I am oh so very calm...sweetheart" I saying making direct eye contact with her adding a sickly sweet smile.

They wanna play the game that way so be it.

"Alright so the questions" the first host says trying to break the tension.

"So from your new album Red what song took the longest to write?"

"oh I don't know can I have a new question" I say in a monotone voice.

"Uh Sure why not, How has touring been so far? I mean traveling across the US must be exciting."

"Good" I say looking down at my nails.

The co host buts in this time, "Care to elaborate"

"No not really"

"Ok um next question" the host says getting flustered.

"Favorite track from Red"

"Oh I like them all"

I can tell by this point the hosts are getting annoyed by my short answers. Good.

"Well lets get into the juicy questions. So you and Harry Sty-"

"broke up two years ago if you would even call it dating" I cut her off. If she only knew.

"Any new boyfriends"

"No"

"None" the cohost says with a hint of shock in her voice.

"None" I repeat glaring, "is that hard to believe or something"

"Any girlfriends? I heard some rumors that you and your newest friend Mia might have a little romance" she smirks.

I feel myself tense. Not now Taylor.

I feel a lump well up in my throat, "Just a rumor" I manage to choke out.

"I'm not feeling well I'm leaving" I say running to the restroom.

I throw open one of the stall doors as bile rises in my throat.

They can't ask me about her. That wasn't one of the planned questions. They can't.

I slide down onto the cold tile floor.

My manger opens the stall I'm in glaring.

"Taylor what in absolute hell was that?" he whisper yells, "Could you have made it anymore obvious?"

I feel anger. Not at my manager or the hosts. I feel anger at my whole damn situation, "You know what actually I could have. I could've walked on stage and screamed 'guess what I like girls' but I didn't so do me a favor and and get the hell off my back because you have no idea what I'm feeling"  I say before walking out of the stall.

"Taylor you oka-" I hear a crew member yell.

"I'm fine" and yet again another lie.

The December air chills face turning my cheeks a rosy color of pink as I push open the heavy doors to leave the building. I need air. I feel small droplets of water fall onto my hands. I look up at the sky expecting rain. I then touch my cheeks realizing that for the first time in six months I'm crying. I didn't cry after the breakup, its hard to cry about something when its the biggest secret of your whole entire life. Imagine having a secret that could cause people to hate you. To make them judge you. Imagine having a secret that makes people think you're going to burn in hell. Now imagine trying to keep that secret while the world is shining the limelight on you. All because I met a girl that made me fall in love. All because she was the one who helped me find myself. All because she reminded me what love was to begin with. All because she reminded me of my favorite color. All because of red.

And in that moment for the first time in six months I pulled my knees to my chest and I cried.

A/N Mia is a character that I made up and that I'm developing to clear up confusion

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