The Rise of the Drackens

Harry comes into a very unexpected inheritance. He is a creature both rare and very dangerous, a creature that is black listed by the British Ministry. So now he must avoid detection at all costs, whilst choosing his life partners and dealing with impending pregnancy at just sixteen. With danger coming not just from the Ministry but even other creatures, what was he supposed to do?


48. Chapter Forty-Eight – Fun in the Sun Part 1

Harry was so excited even as Max and Draco shouted at Nasta, who was calmly packing an overnight bag with enough clothes for the weekend.

It was two in the morning and Harry was so excited that he hadn't slept a wink. Everything was so short notice that they were only now packing their suitcases.

Harry had never been on holiday before, so he had no idea what he needed to take. He was packing anything and everything that came to his hand as Nasta chuckled and started removing things from his little suitcase.

"Braiden will not need all of these clothes, love." He told him as he took out several jumpers, even more shirts and fourteen pairs of trousers.

"What if he has an accident or if it's not warm enough?"

"We have blankets for him and it'll take a few minutes to come back to get a spare pair of clothes. It's not like we are Muggles and need to catch a plane to come back and forth. We'll be fine, now instead of filling the suitcase with everything for Braiden, pack some clothes for yourself."

Harry did as he was told, not willing to push his luck as he was actually being allowed to go and Marianna had been right, he only needed Nasta on his side as Draco and Max were furious and demanding that they not go, that it was stupid and dangerous and that it could potentially terminate his pregnancy, but Nasta was adamant and firm that they were going and he ordered them to pack or be stuck without clothes for a week.

"What do I need? Blaise, what's Draguignan like?"

"It is going to be hot there, Mio amore, but not much more than here."

"That's good, I'd hate for Braiden to be pushed into a climate where he's uncomfortable. Oh! Where are his sun hats?! He's not going without his hats or his sun cream!"

"I've got both." Nasta assured. "Now pack some boxer shorts or you won't have any."

"How can you agree to this insanity?!" Draco demanded.

"We are going, now pack your damn suitcase or you'll have nothing to wear!" Nasta growled.

"Don't forget your toiletries!" Blaise called after a fuming Draco.

"Don't tease him." Harry chastised. "How many bottles should we take? Do we need the extra ones?"

"Harry love, listen to me. Stop packing for Braiden and pack for yourself." Nasta ordered testily.

Harry dropped the bottle he had been about to pack and frowned at his hand as it had automatically released the bottle without his brain telling his fingers to move.

Nasta sighed and cuddled him

"I didn't mean to use the full weight of the dominance bond, love, but can you please pack some clothes for yourself or are you planning on running around Marianna's home with nothing on?"

Harry shook his head and an excited grin stole over his face once more as he rushed to his wardrobe to get some clothes, Nasta giving his bum a swat as he moved past.

Draco unhappily packed his bag and Max zipped his case up in angry silence. Blaise, who had been done before all of them because the majority of his clothes were already at the house they were going to, was making sure that they had everything Braiden needed, tipping out half of the things that Harry had already packed to make space for the things they actually needed.

"Are you all done and ready?" Nasta asked an hour later, Harry's hand firmly in his own as his mate bounced with excited, pent up energy. It made it almost worth it to see Harry this excited over just going to someone else's house for a few days.

Once he had resigned himself to the fact that, yes they were actually going and that Harry and Braiden were going with them, Max had become as excited as Harry as he rushed around locking all of the windows, locking the doors and flooing his family to let them know where he was going to be for the next few days to a week.

Draco on the other hand had sunken into a silent sulk and he was very angry and very against the idea of Harry leaving the house. Nasta had ordered him to be quiet and to stop being a pest. He hadn't spoken since.

"Are we leaving now?!" Harry asked bubbly as he bounced on the balls of his feet, swinging his arm that was attached to the hand Nasta was holding and bouncing Braiden with him, who was strapped to his chest in a baby carrier that had, only that morning, been taken out of its box for the trip since the carrycot was broken and now useless and needed to be replaced.

"Yes Harry, just calm down. We'll be going now, in a minute." Nasta assured him as he and Max went through a check list to make sure they had everything and had done everything that needed doing.

"Are we going now?" Harry asked a minute later as they still hadn't left the house.

Nasta chuckled deeply and pulled him into a light hug, being mindful of Braiden strapped to his chest and gave him a kiss.

"We're going now, just shut your mouth for two minutes whilst Max makes sure everything is locked and everything is turned off."

Harry waited as patiently as he could, but as he opened his mouth to ask once more if they were actually going, Max placed a large hand over his mouth.

"We're done; we're going, no more asking." He said with an indulgent grin.

Harry almost squealed as they made their way to the fireplace. Nasta had decided that flooing was more practical than getting permission for a Portkey with such short notice, but Harry and Braiden were to floo with Nasta, just in case.

Blaise went first, then Nasta forced Draco to leave, Max went next carrying the majority of the suitcases and then Nasta bundled up Harry against his chest, covered him with a blanket and flooed to Marianna's.

Harry checked on Braiden as a first priority, making sure no soot or dirt had lodged itself anywhere and then turned to grin at Blaise, who was having his back broken by his Mother.

Nasta chuckled quietly beside him and Harry smothered a giggle, even Draco managed a smile and Harry felt almost delirious at the sight of it.

"Everything is set up, Josiah and I worked through all of yesterday and half the night for you all when we heard you were paying us a visit and we made sure to set everything up!" Marianna exclaimed happily.

"Set what up, Mother?" Blaise asked, rubbing his ribs and looking more like he'd rather not know.

"Why, your little holiday, Blaise. Honestly."

"This is our little holiday." Harry said. "Blaise said Draguignan is very beautiful."

"You can come to this place any old time!" Marianna exclaimed. "I've booked you into a lovely hotel, just the five of you, got a tour guide to recommend all the places you should visit, the best restaurants, the finest beaches, all the sights you should see."

Marianna pushed a folder into Nasta's hand as he raised a black eyebrow incredulously.

"I thought you said we could stay here, Mother." Blaise reminded her. "You said you'd love for us to come and stay when I spoke to you yesterday."

"Yes, of course I would, but you need to go out into the world, my little loves! Guadeloupe is a very beautiful island."

"Guadeloupe?" Max asked faintly.

"Where you're all going, yes. Except for Braiden. Braiden is staying here with his Grandma Marianna!"

That was where Harry disliked the idea as he cowered back into Nasta and wrapped his arms around Braiden like a shield.

"What?" He asked. "I can't leave Braiden here."

"You can't go out exploring Guadeloupe with a baby in tow!" Marianna refuted. "Josiah and I will take excellent care of him and you can floo back anytime you like, even in the middle of the night, if you want to check up on him."

"This is too much, we couldn't possibly…" Nasta began, but he didn't get much further.

"Well you are." Marianna snapped at him, proving that she was a dominant female and unafraid to stand up to him. "I would be most offended and unhappy with you if you didn't go now that I went through all the trouble of making all the arrangements and compiling all the information I could for you boys. You're going whether you want to or not, I will force the Portkey onto you all at some point with no way for you to get home for a few days, the way I see it you can either sulk and try to find a way off of the island like brats or you can relax and enjoy yourselves for a few days and come back, happy and refreshed in a few days' time. It's your choice."

Harry saw the look on Nasta's face and knew that he wouldn't refuse Marianna now that she had played so dirtily and made him feel guilty over wanting to refuse. Marianna was right, it really was easy to manipulate dominants to do what you wanted if you knew what to say and do, but he was no dominant and he did not feel comfortable leaving Braiden.

"I don't want to leave my baby. He's only a week old."

"You can come and see him every day, Harry. It's only for a few days, one big, happy holiday before you go back to school. I'm sure you could use a few mornings where you can sleep in, where you don't have to get up in the middle of the night and don't have to do anything you don't want to do for a few days. It's not bad parenting to leave a child with a relative for a few days to have a break, Harry, you are refreshing yourself ready to come back, pick him up and take on school, a new pregnancy as well as a very young baby."

"I…" Harry looked from Marianna to his mates. Draco did not look accepting, but then he hadn't wanted any of them to come on this entire trip. Blaise was debating; Max was smiling so he obviously thought that it was a good idea. Harry looked up at Nasta, who was standing at his back and found those hazel-green eyes looking back.

"We could benefit from a break." Nasta said smoothly, ignoring Draco's growl of protest.

"If you think it's a good idea." Harry said meekly, his arms still around Braiden. But he really wanted to go, so he was doing as Marianna had told him to do, letting Nasta think that he had made the decision himself, but he was wearing a hopeful looking expression, but he wasn't fighting or yelling, he wasn't demanding that they should go. He was giving in and softly letting Nasta think that he was making the decision whether to go or not.

"I raised Blaise alright didn't I?" Marianna demanded. "Braiden will be perfectly safe and happy here!"

"I could use a lie in after all the early mornings we've had!" Max encouraged. "Let's just do it! Marianna has put a lot of work into this for us and Harry deserves a holiday after everything he's been through."

That made Blaise make up his mind and he agreed. Draco looked torn.

"Please, Draco." Harry said softly. "I won't go if you don't want me to, but I really want to go."

Marianna winked at him subtly and gave him an approving smile before adding in. "Won't this be your first ever holiday, Harry? I'm sure your mates would want you to have a holiday and will make it extra special for you. After all you're a grown man now, it's criminal that you've never been on a holiday before. How many times did your parents take you on holiday when you were a child, Draco? At least two holidays a year wasn't it?"

"Sometimes three." Draco put in quietly as those silver eyes darkened in anger at the reminder that Harry's upbringing wasn't as lavish as his own.

"Are we going or aren't we?" Nasta asked, as if the fate of it rested upon Draco and not on himself.

"We'll go, but you have to be careful, Harry!" Draco said sternly.

"I will I promise! Thank you! Thank you!" Harry cried engulfing Draco in an awkward hug around his neck, with his arse stuck out so that his chest, which held Braiden, wouldn't be crushed against Draco. "I can't believe I'm finally having my first holiday! It's so amazing!"

"Right, give me Braiden, you can settle him down with a bottle and a last cuddle, but your Portkey leaves in twenty minutes, I booked reservations for you to have dinner in Le Lucullus restaurant in Sainte-Anne, your hotel is also in Sainte-Anne. La Toubana hotel and spa."

"What are we going to do in a spa?" Max asked his eyebrows in his hairline.

"Spa things?" Blaise answered questioningly.

"Find a steam room." Harry said with a naughty giggle.

"You don't need a steam room, sweetheart, you're already pregnant. Speaking of which, the magical staff at the hotel have been informed of your arrival, that you are in fact pregnant and they have a Healer on standby for the duration of your stay."

"I'm not that clumsy!" Harry pouted.

"You have your own private villa, with full access to the hotel swimming pool; there is an onsite restaurant and access to the hotel's private beach." Marianna continued. "You will arrive around the corner from the restaurant, the reservations are under Delericey, a seven seater car will be waiting to pick you up whenever you are done with dinner to take you to your hotel, you may then do as you please for the rest of your stay."

Marianna looked so pleased with herself that Harry laughed and slipped Braiden out of the carrier, unstrapping it from his body before he gave his baby a big hug and a sloppy kiss.

"I'll miss you, love. You be good for your Grandma Marianna, I'll be home in a few days, I promise."

Harry handed Braiden over, but then changed his mind and took the baby back, cuddling him tightly.

"I don't think I can do it." He said weakly.

"You can, you're a strong man, Harry." Nasta encouraged. "I'm sure if anything at all happens then Marianna will inform you, not that I expect anything to happen while we are away, he's going to be fine and spoilt during his few days with his Grandmother."

Harry swallowed and slowly held out Braiden again. He pulled his hands away once Marianna had Braiden in her arms so he didn't snatch him back.

"You do have a bassinet don't you?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I have Blaise's old crib. I bought a new mattress just for Braiden and new linens too. He's going to be fine and he has everything he needs. Stop fretting."

Harry turned to move away, but turned back to Braiden, the little suitcase that Blaise and Nasta had packed for him and the nappy bag by Marianna's feet, and kissed those little cheeks and mouth again.

"Nasta, be a dear and take Harry for the Portkey ride, I'm sure that once he's away he'll be fine. It's always the hardest leaving them for the first time."

Nasta wrapped Harry in his arms and Harry was almost ashamed to realise that his eyes were burning with tears. He was the one who had wanted this holiday; he had just imagined that he'd be taking Braiden with him.

"It'll be fine, Harry love, Marianna will spoil Braiden and we are going to spoil you." Max purred lustily in his ear and it made Harry laugh, before realising that the five of them were going to be in a their own private villa, with no baby, no family, no distractions for long enough that his stomach muscles clenched in anticipation. Perhaps leaving Braiden with Marianna wasn't such a bad idea after all.

The place they arrived at was dark, but the humid heat made Harry feel like stripping off and running around naked. It was hotter here than it was in Britain and France; they had been told by Marianna that it was eleven in the night in Guadeloupe. It was no wonder that Marianna insisted that they get up early and arrive at her house at three in the morning. They were all tired, but after they had eaten, they were going straight to the hotel and to bed, so they could get their bodies in time with the local time.

Draco led the way around from the dark corner the Portkey had dumped them and they found the restaurant quickly.

Nasta did all of the talking in rapid French that only Blaise could keep up with and they were quickly led to a beautiful table that seated five, with a gorgeous view and Harry made sure he had the seat closest to the window so he could peek over his shoulder and look outside.

"I bet it's even more gorgeous when the sun is rising." He said wistfully.

"Before we leave, you will see a sun rise and a sun set." Max promised, leaning over to nibble on his neck. This holiday was bringing out Max's more passionate side and he was wasting no time in showing it.

"Behave!" Nasta chastised as they were given menus and asked to order drinks.

Harry heard the word champagne and heard Nasta quickly decline before ordering them all fruit drinks and glasses of water.

Harry sucked on his straw from his fancy glass with the little green umbrella and he grinned as Blaise looked at his drink in disgust.

"You could have at least allowed us one glass of wine with dinner."

"While Harry is pregnant we will support him through his non-alcoholic diet." Nasta said simply.

"I don't mind you drinking alcohol." Harry said. "I never liked the taste of it anyway, I was never refined enough to enjoy it."

Harry indicated with his glass to Draco and Blaise, who were both grumbling snobbishly to one another about not being allowed wine when they had been allowed one glass with dinner since they were twelve.

Nasta chuckled. "I just didn't want them drinking so soon, love. Not when we're going straight to bed after dinner. Do you need help with your menu? It's all in French."

"Please. I want something with pasta."

"They boast a lovely ravioli." Nasta told him.

Harry grinned. "I've never had ravioli."

"Never?" Max asked scandalised. "I've never made ravioli for you?"

"No." Blaise answered. "I didn't know you could make pasta from scratch."

"Of course I can!" Max said scandalised. "I made that lasagne from scratch. I'll make you some when we get home, love. I can't believe you've never tried it."

Harry frowned and looked down at the table top.

"I've never tried a beef burger." Nasta said casually, though he was looking at Harry whilst pretending to peruse the menu. He saw Harry's head come up and he felt better that he had saved the mood of the night.

"You've never eaten a burger?" Draco asked.

"I'm surprised that you have." Nasta answered.

Draco actually went pink. "Blaise and I…we were in between our fourth and fifth year at Hogwarts, we went to a nearby town in Wiltshire and we saw a Muggle stand. We were hungry and it smelt nice."

Harry actually laughed at how embarrassed Draco sounded at confessing to eating a burger from a vendor.

"I had a burger once." Harry told them. "Uncle Vernon bought one for himself and Dudley and the nice man handed me one before Uncle Vernon could whisk me away. I didn't like it much, it made me feel sick from all the oil and grease, but the onions were nice."

His mates were saved from answering by the appearance of their server, who took their orders, topped up their glasses and then the mood was saved as the awkward tension passed when Harry almost climbed over the back of his chair because an iguana passed in front of the window.

"Sit down, Harry." Nasta said, but he was laughing so much he could have said almost anything to Harry, who was trying to follow the iguana through its procession through the windows.

"What is it?" Harry asked as he looked at the funny lizard as it cocked its head at him. Harry did the same and heard not only his mates laughing but other diners too.

"It's an iguana, Harry." Blaise told him.

Max came and lifted him back into his chair, but Harry still tried to crane his neck to search for the errant iguana.

"You'll see plenty of them on Guadeloupe, apparently they roam wild." Draco said as he read through the file that Marianna had given them. "There are also wildlife parks and aquariums if you'd like to see some animals."

"Can we, please?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Of course we can." Nasta answered as he sucked twice on his straw of fruit juice.

"You look sexy doing that." Harry whispered loud enough for their table to hear. "I can suck better than you though."

"Oh, you think so do you?" Nasta challenged, his voice dipping lower.

Harry chuckled, his voice deeper than it had been in a while. He almost couldn't wait until they got back to the hotel room, he was almost tempted to say fuck the dinner, fuck me instead, but he didn't as his stomach grumbled under the table. He'd eat dinner first; he'd need the energy for later.

Harry's mouth watered as he was served his meal and he ate happily, making sure he tasted everything. He even took the forkful of food that was offered to him by Nasta.

"That's nice." He said. "What is it?"

"Trout meunière." Nasta answered with a perfect accent that he didn't usually have.

"Nothing can compare to Max's cooking, but this comes close." Harry flattered, looking at Max through his eyelashes as he put more of his ravioli on his fork before putting it to his mouth.

"So you're saying my cooking is better than a real chef's creation in their area of specialty?" Max asked. "You are so getting it tonight."

Harry laughed even as he twitched in his loose linen trousers and his stomach clenched in arousal. He couldn't wait for later.

"Won't it hurt the baby?" Draco asked.

"No." Harry replied immediately. "You wouldn't even know I was pregnant if it wasn't for Claire. With Braiden it took eleven days before I was dragged to Madam Pomfrey and she told me that I was pregnant. Braiden was fine with all the sex we had for those eleven days and even after! I swear if you try and deny me sex I will tie you down, suck you hard and fuck myself on you."

"You promise?" Blaise whispered lustily.

Harry had trouble swallowing and took a deep drink of his fruit drink, sucking exaggeratedly on the straw and hearing four muffled growls around him.

They were offered a dessert menu when their main plates were cleared away and before any of the others could decline; Harry took a menu and asked Nasta to translate it for him.

"Don't you want to get to the hotel quicker?" Blaise asked one hand disappearing under the table to give himself a short, subtle tug as his smart trousers restricted his blood flow.

"I want to fill up first." Harry said teasingly. "I have enough room for dessert, plus I could use the extra energy, we all could."

"However much you want to eat." Draco agreed as he looked at his own dessert menu. He luckily knew enough French to translate himself, which left Nasta to help Harry and Blaise to help Max.

"What are sorbets?" Harry asked.

"It's frozen, but it's made with egg whites and fruit purees, so it's a healthier choice for a dessert." Nasta said approvingly.

"I want a mango sorbet and a passion fruit one!" Harry exclaimed.

"I want the coconut sorbet." Draco decided.

"Papaya sorbet." Max said with a grin.

"Let's get one of each sorbet then and share them." Nasta suggested. "That way we can try them all."

Nasta gave their order and it wasn't long before a selection of the frozen, ice cream like desserts were placed on their table. Only they weren't creamy at all, they were ice, bursting with flavour and very delicious and refreshing.

Harry's favourite was definitely the strawberry sorbet and particularly the lime one, while Nasta preferred the coconut. Max liked the mango and Blaise favoured the passion fruit. Draco enjoyed them all except for the guava sorbet. None of them much liked the guava sorbet or, strangely enough, the raspberry sorbet, which Draco loved.

They all fed one another and enjoyed themselves immensely. They were all done and finished and Nasta asked the server to have their car bought around as he paid for their meals. Harry still couldn't believe that Marianna had hired them a car.

Harry yawned and leaned against Draco, his seat belt securely on as he kept his eyes peeled open to see the beautiful place they were in, but it was now nearing one in the morning and it was dark.

"We'll see more in the morning, cariad." Nasta told him.

Harry hummed, but kept his eyes open. He was semi-hard and he wanted to do something about it with his four lovers as their baby was being looked after by Marianna.

"Do you think Braiden is alright?" He couldn't help asking.

"I'm sure he is just fine, Harry." Max told him.

"Of course he is." Nasta told him. "Blaise turned out fine didn't he? And it's always said that grandparents are more patient and more careful with their grandchildren than their children. You always look after something more carefully if it isn't yours."

Harry smiled as the pressure released from his gut. He hated feeling that Braiden was going to be distressed without him.

They arrived at the hotel they were staying in and Harry almost lost his breath. It was beautiful. It looked like a jungle, full of trees and flowers and plants, with little bungalow cum villas studded around, held off the ground by stilts and close together, but far enough apart for privacy, Harry grinned as he realised that their neighbours weren't going to be able to hear him scream tonight whether they used silencing charms or not.

They arrived at the front desk and Max got the key to their own villa. The hotel staff were lovely, though one of them kept darting their eyes up to his forehead, Harry took this to be the magical resident staff on duty. Their suitcases were already in their villa, like Marianna had said they would be and Harry darted around exploring everything in their villa, watched by his amused lovers who occasionally had to remind him not to run and to be careful.

The bed was huge with white linens with red borders, it looked like two king beds pushed together, magic had had a hand in its creation. The bedroom opened up onto a large decking balcony via a sliding glass door that had a gorgeous view of the ocean and the beach and as Harry was stood by the railing, looking over, arms encircled his waist and lips were pressed to the nape of his neck.

Blond hair blew in front of his eyes from the ocean breeze and Harry turned his head to kiss a bicep.

"It's gorgeous here, Draco." He said softly.

"I'm sorry I tried to stop you from coming here. I had no idea how miserable you were until I saw your face light up in the restaurant."

"I wasn't miserable, just a bit…stifled. Suffocated. I needed a bit of room to move and instead of giving me that room; you've given me an endless expanse of space to stretch in." Harry answered throwing his arms wide. "This place is better than I could have ever imagined! This is going to be a perfect first holiday!"

Draco turned him around and hugged him tightly, kissing his lips soundly.

"I love you and I'm sorry if I've hurt you at all since our mating. I love you."

Harry went onto his tip toes and put his arms around Draco's neck, squeezing tightly and trying to offer himself as comfort.

"Let's go to bed to reaffirm just how much we love one another." Harry purred into one of Draco's perfect ears. "Let me show you how much you're forgiven and how very much I love you."

Draco chuckled deeply and let Harry lead him back into their bedroom where Max and Nasta were checking through their suitcases.

Harry spun Draco around and shoved him onto the bed beside Blaise before climbing onto him and kissing him, little hands burrowing under the shirt that Draco was wearing to play with pretty pink nipples.

"Hey! Not starting without us are you?" Max asked, a naughty grin on his face as he watched Harry attack Draco's mouth with a little tongue and a whole lot of vigour.

"You're here aren't you?" Harry asked breathlessly, leaning back down to attack that perfect, pale neck with his teeth.

Draco, fed up of lying on his back, rolled Harry over and took over his mouth, his hands shredding the shirt that Harry was wearing before roving over every inch of bared flesh. Harry couldn't hold in the moan that came from the back of his throat.

Draco pulled back from him and ripped off his own shirt, his muscles rippling under his pale, perfect skin. Draco threw the, now buttonless, shirt aside before leaning down to claim Harry's mouth as his own once more. Harry's legs slipped around Draco's hips and the heels of his feet dug into the base of his spine, forcing his hips to push forward into Harry, who moaned again at the contact.

"I feel left out." Blaise said a hint of a bass growl in his voice that sent a spike of arousal through his ears and down to his aching cock.

"It's been too long!" Harry groaned.

"It's been less than a week." Max replied incredulously. "My chest still doesn't feel right."

"Stop talking and kiss me!" Harry demanded and Max fell to his knees beside the bed, pulled Harry's shoulders to the edge of the bed so his head was hanging over it before giving him such a passionate, dominating kiss that Harry's toes curled.

Missing Scene

Max stood up and picked up a drowsy, half sleeping Draco from the floor and dumped him on the bed before collapsing onto it himself with a moan.

"Every muscle aches." He whined, his voice raw.

No one replied, no one could reply. Draco was almost asleep, Blaise was asleep, Nasta was possibly unconscious and Harry was still trying to get his breathing back under his control.

Max moved Nasta in short, sharp tugs and laid him against the pillows, yanking out the duvet as he did so. Nasta groaned and swatted at him proving that he wasn't unconscious after all. Max bopped Nasta's head before he pulled Draco, by his arm, to lie against Nasta. Draco hissed sleepily at Max, who bopped Draco's head too.

Max moved Blaise to lie against Nasta's other side, Blaise did not wake up. Lastly Max scooped Harry into his arms and flumped down on the bed, holding Harry tightly to his chest, pressing Harry's back to Blaise's back, before he reached down and tugged the duvet up to cover them all.

"So much for getting to bed early to rise with the sun to alter our body clocks." Max rumbled before he moved around to get himself comfortable before he stilled, waiting for exhaustion to take him over so that he could fall asleep.

Remus smiled as he looked through the pictures of his school days and early twenties. Sirius and James grinning and laughing, Lily smiling as she stroked her baby bump, a toothless, grinning baby boy who was reaching clenching hands towards the camera, James sat behind him holding the little boy under his armpits to prevent him from toppling forward. James had always been so overprotective of Harry it was a wonder he had ever learnt to walk.

He smiled sadly and he wished Lily and James and Sirius could be here now to see how their beautiful baby boy had turned out. Sirius had been hopeless with a baby Harry, but there was no denying that he had seen Harry as much as his own son and later in life, he had given a teenaged Harry sound advice, an ear to listen to him and a body to turn to when things got rough.

He missed them. He missed them dearly and with Harry growing up so fast and off having his own baby, it felt like he was missing everything, that everything was going too quickly for him to catch up with and he hated thinking that Harry was off having sexual relations with men and getting pregnant when he was just seventeen. Even James and Lily had waited until they were twenty and married before planning a baby.

Remus rubbed his gritty eyes and he sighed. He wished with all of his heart that they could be here instead of him. What was he doing with his life? Who did he really have? James and Lily, even Sirius, could have been doing something and been something to someone. Harry deserved them, all three of them, instead he got an old, tired werewolf who was no good to anyone.

Sometimes he dreamed that he had a Wife and children, maybe four. Four seemed like a good number to him. He wouldn't be a werewolf in his dreams and there would be no danger of hurting or infecting his own children.

Perhaps the dreams were just a by-product of his conflict of opinion with Tonks over her want of a relationship with him, despite him giving her a list of cons against the idea. He wanted what she offered so badly, but how could he ever accept? No matter what he did or how many dreams he had, he was a werewolf, older than her by thirteen years, hated, disgusted, as poor as the most impoverished man, he had only what gold Harry had put into his vault, which made him feel even worse about his situation.

He didn't deserve Tonks, she didn't deserve to be hated just for marrying a werewolf, her children deserved better than being ridiculed and bullied because of their Father.

But sometimes, sometimes he wished he could just give in and say yes, that he would stay with her. He would be loyal; he would love her and care for her, even if he couldn't provide for her. Deep down he wanted children and he wanted a Wife as wonderful as Tonks. He wanted to settle down, but no sooner did he have these thoughts did he push them away in anger. He could never have his dream. It was too dangerous, no matter how much the woman he was coming to love begged him, no matter how much she pleaded and beseeched him to just try, he couldn't. He couldn't do it to her and he couldn't do it to himself. It was hard enough to stay strong now, to keep himself away from his dream, to keep her out of harm's way. If he agreed to 'just try' the relationship then he would never have the strength to walk away from her. He was not that strong.

He looked to the grinning baby photos he had of Harry, of which there were numerous, and he smiled. Harry was as close to a son as he was ever going to get and he cherished the memories and the photographs he had of time spent playing and looking after the adorable little boy.

His biggest regret was his weakness after James' death. Of his selfishness. How he could have treated Harry so poorly was a disgrace and he spoke to James and Lily, asking for forgiveness every night for his abandonment of their fifteen month old son because deep down, he was a very selfish man.

He had left a broken, bleeding, recently orphaned fifteen month old baby that he had sworn to James and Sirius was like his own son because of his own pain. Harry had just lost both of his parents; Sirius had been arrested and thrown into prison. Harry would have been confused, scared, uprooted from his home and all familiar faces and dumped on a family who had neither loved him nor cared for him.

He could have been the only familiar face Harry had, he could have been Harry's rock, he had been offered a house in the same neighbourhood as Harry, but he had turned it down and he had selfishly cut all ties and run away, cradling his pain and his hurt to his heart.

Harry had looked so much like James, so very much like his Father. Like the brother that he had lost. He hadn't even been able to look at a photo of Harry, let alone go and see him in person. He hadn't wanted to see Harry. The pain was unbelievable, his entire pack destroyed in one night, it had hurt. Harry had reminded him so much of James, had looked just like him in miniature form that he had just packed and left, leaving Harry to rot in a cupboard at a place where the people held absolutely no love for him.

He had regretted his selfish decision for years now, ever since he had decided to cautiously peek in on Harry twelve years later when he had briefly taken the Defence Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts. He had kept his distance, he had watched him from afar and he marvelled at the amazing person that Harry had become. He looked less like James and more like Lily as he had grown older. He was such a kind, caring, loving boy that Remus had wept over his selfish, cowardly decision to leave the little baby that boy had been behind. Twelve years he had lost. Twelve years where he could have been with Harry every day of his life, where he could have spared him the pain of his childhood. If Sirius had not been sent to Azkaban, no matter how useless he was with children, Sirius would have taken Harry in without having to think about it, he would have taken Harry in despite his looks and resemblance to James, regardless of his own thoughts and feelings and he would have done his best to care and provide for him for the rest of his life.

But not him, oh no, he had run. He couldn't take the pain, couldn't get past his thoughts and feelings on the matter so he had abandoned Harry. His best friends' son and he had never regretted anything quite so much in his life.

This was his punishment, he penance for abandoning Harry. He was miserable now because Harry had spent fifteen years being miserable growing up with the Dursleys, who he had only just found out had been abusing and neglecting Harry since that very first day that he had been left with them, until the day that he had left their care when he himself had picked him up the day after his birthday a year ago.

The shame he felt for leaving Harry to fend for himself, the horror at finding out that the sweet, kind boy he knew had been beaten, starved and locked in a cupboard and who knew what else every day of his life that he was in that house. It made him sick, it made him weep and it made his revulsion at himself hit a new high. He had done that to Harry, he was to blame. He had abandoned that baby boy and as a consequence Harry had been mistreated when if he had had the strength and guts to stay as any other decent person would have, he would have noticed anything amiss with Harry and put a stop to it before it had really even begun. He was to blame and nothing he would ever do would make up for it.


Startled Remus looked around and hastily wiped the tears from his eyes and face as Tonks stared at him.

"Why are you crying?" She asked softly, coming over to him and taking note of all the photo albums opened to James, Lily, Sirius and baby Harry.

"Oh." She exclaimed, giving him an understanding smile. She brushed his tears away, but Remus took hold of her hands gently and pushed them away, hating himself further for the hurt look on her face.

"You caught me at a bad time." He told her, hoping that she would leave, but a part of him didn't want her to leave, not truly.

"I haven't seen you in a few days; I thought I'd pop around to see if you'd given anymore thought to what I asked you."

"I keep telling you, Tonks. I'm too old for you. Too poor and a werewolf besides."

"I keep telling you that I don't care, Remus. I'm an adult woman now, I can make my own decisions and I have made up my mind!" Tonks told him, brushing bubble gum pink hair out of her eyes.

"My mind hasn't changed." Remus told her, shoving down the part of him that wanted to take her into his arms, kiss her breathless and never let her go.

"Have you even thought about it?" She asked.

'Only every single day.' He thought, but out loud he simple said. "There is nothing to think about, Tonks. The sooner you let it go, the happier you'll be and then you'll realise what a mistake you are trying to make."

Tonks made and angry frustrated noise, her hands making a sharp, chopping motion as her fingers clenched, like she wanted to hit him, or perhaps throttle him, but she did neither as she stepped right into his personal space. For one moment he thought that she was going to punch him square in the face, he would have deserved it, but she seized his head between her hands and yanked his face to her own into a demanding, fierce and violent kiss full of desperation and determination. She was never going to give up and as Remus slid his arms around the back of her slim body, pulling her towards him to crush her body against his, he thought that maybe it actually was a good thing that the Black family were all hard headed, steel willed and stubborn to a fault.

Harry blinked open his eyes and wondered sluggishly what had woken him. He listened and he could hear birds singing and nothing seemed amiss. Except he could only hear four sets of breathing noises.

Harry bolted upright and looked around him frantically, he was in Draco's arms, Max behind him; Nasta was behind Draco and Blaise on the other side of Nasta. His baby wasn't here. He couldn't hear Braiden breathing or crying. His baby was gone.

Harry looked around the room and he didn't recognise anything, the bright, retina burning sunlight that poured through the sliding glass doors lit everything up in a golden glow and as Harry spotted the ocean through those doors, he remembered. Marianna had Braiden. She had sent them to an island called Guadeloupe for a holiday before they went back for their final year of school.

He breathed in deeply and massaged his chest before getting out of bed. His entire body ached pleasantly and every muscle burnt with strain, but he felt loose and nimble. More relaxed than he had in months.

He cleaned himself off in the sink, dressed and headed to the fireplace in the living room, to the pot of floo powder they had been given by the wizard hotel staff on duty last night; he wanted to visit Braiden to make sure he was alright.

He stopped as something niggled the back of his mind before remember what had happened the last time he had done this. He put the pot of floo powder down before he trekked back into the bedroom.

He kneeled on the bed and touched Nasta's shoulder, shaking him gently and carefully so he didn't wake up any of the others.

"Nasta!" He whispered urgently. "Nas!"

Nasta groaned and rolled over, but this had the fortune of waking up Blaise, who blinked sleepy indigo eyes at him.

"What's the matter, mio amore?" He asked softly as he rolled onto his back and stretched, every bone in his body cracking as Blaise made a sound of happy pleasure, sinking back into the mattress.

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