Everlasting

l was taught to be a good man; a gentleman. Hold doors open for others, not just women. Say "please" and "thank you". My mom would scream at me if I wasn't polite and respectful, especially out in public. She must be rolling around in her grave these days. 
You must think my story is a bad one, like a romantic love story about a girl that falls in love too quickly. However, mine's way different. You know, you read those books all the time about the love and the romance, but you don't often read about their lives and about how they got to where they are in life. 
This is our story.

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12. Chapter Twelve

Song: Secret Love Song (pt. 2) by Little Mix

Amber's POV

I watched as Jason put his hand on Talia's back as we walked to the cafeteria. For the past week, I've really been noticing the small things in their relationship. The small things I want. Jackson and I have been dating for two weeks, however it feels like a lifetime. But I can't help but feel like dating in secret isn't enough for me. I'm lying to all my friends and all the people I care about all because of what? So I can have a boyfriend? It shouldn't be that way.

"Here he is," Jason announced as Jackson walked through the cafeteria doors. For the past couple weeks, Jackson has been missing from morning activities and coming in late. He claims it's school related, but now, almost done with Junior year, I can't be so sure. 

"And later than usual today," I sighed as I opened my bag to get my lunch. A couple weeks ago, Jackson was supposed to meet me at his truck during lunch, however, each time I would wait for him and his truck to show up, it never did. 

"Sorry I'm late. Got caught in some traffic. What'd I miss?" Jackson asked as he sat next to me. 

"We had an assembly about summer. Oh, and Amber got an award for best designer for the fashion show," Jackson smiled and put his hand on my knee.

"Nobody knew about that, Jason. I didn't want people to kno about it," I replied as I removed Jackson's hand. 

"Why not?" Jackson asked, astounded that I removed his hand.

"I just don't, okay. Drop it." From the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but notice Jackson staring intently at me. I sighed and stood up from the table, making my friends watch as I grabbed my things and walked myself out of the cafeteria. I just can't take it any longer. I can't even look at Jason and Talia without getting jealous because of how happy they are.

I set my things down in the hallway and sighed. Am I throwing a tantrum, I am. I'm not happy with my relationship and I want to be happy with it. So yeah, I am throwing a tantrum.

"Am," I looked up from my laptop and sighed as Jackson kneeled in front of me with a worried expression. "I know I haven't been around as much, but I'm still here for you, and I know when something is wrong," he looked down, "I'm your boyfriend," he whispered.

"Nothings wrong. Just drama with Mikey and some drama at home. That's all,"

He nodded, "Talia told me your car is in the shop. I can't go to weight room today, do you want me to drive you home? Maybe have some alone time?"

"Yeah sure. I'll meet you at your truck," the good thing about Jackson is he knows when I don't want to talk.

Emotions can come and go at any frequent time. You could be dreaming and suddenly you're sad so you start crying in your dream for no reason. Or you could be at the dinner table with your family and in the pit of your stomach, something turns and suddenly you're laughing about absolutely nothing. Emotions tell us things we never knew, they unleash the truth. And the truth hurts.

We didn't speak on the way home to my house. We didn't know what to say, really or what to talk about. Jackson didn't know what mood I would get. Would I be mad? Happy? Sad? I didn't even know myself.

"Should I park in the driveway or on the street?"

"Street," I replied.

"Really? One word answers? We haven't spoken all day, including this car ride. We barely see each other and this is our time right now and all I get are one word answers? What the hell is up with that?" I turned my head towards the window and just watched as the houses on my block passed by. I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears as they fell down my cheeks, however I had no luck. I don't know how much longer I can hide.

As soon as the truck pulled up to my house, I opened my door and fled up the grassy hill with Jackson not to far behind.

"Amber, what the hell is wrong?! You're obviously off about something and you're not telling me about it. Incase you didn't know, you and I are in a relationship-"

"Are we?" I asked.

"The last time I checked, yeah we are."

"It doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like we're in a relationship."

"What do you mean it doesn't feel like it? We do everything a couple does, don't we?"

"Behind doors! We go to your house or mine, but other than that, we're friends. And I don't find it fair,"

"That's what this is about? Keeping our private lives private? We both agreed to keep it that way,"

"People change their minds, Jackson. I don't want to keep us private anymore. I want you to hold me in the hallway and kiss me at lunch and whisper things to me,"

"Where's all of this coming from?"

"I see Talia and Jason an-"

"Amber, we are not Talia and Jason. They've been dating for months. They had to work their way to going public."

"No, they didn't. Jason just never told you until he was ready. They never had their relationship private. They never met in janitors closets or snuck out of lunch just to see each other. We do all of that,"

"I don't want to announce to the student body that I'm dating the school's Vice President,"

I scoffed, "you're embarrassed of me, aren't you? You don't wanna be seen in public with me because I'm Vice President. And I thought you liked me for who I truly am and not for who others see me as. Guess I was wrong,"

"Amber, that's not what I meant!" He yelled as he chased me up the stairs. "I meant-"

"I know what you meant, alright? I know. And I get it. I get that you don't want to go public. But what about me? About us? Honestly, Jackson, I don't know if I can continue to hide the way we do. I really don't. I don't know how much longer I can take keeping us behind closed doors,"

"What does that mean? If I don't go public with you, we're over?"

"That's exactly what it means. I want a boyfriend who whispers in my ear and plays with my hair. Who kisses me in front of everyone. A boyfriend who I don't have to keep a poker face for,"

"Am I-"

"Just drop it. Pretend I didn't say anything."

"I'm sorry,"

"Me too. You should go. I have family coming over tonight and I have to change and clean."

"Amber, your mom tells me you've got got yourself a boyfriend," my grandma smiled.

"Yeah, I don't know anymore,"

"What do you mean? Even your dad spoke highly of him,"

"There's things I want that he doesn't want, so I don't think it's gonna work out,"

"Oh, honey, that's what a relationship is. It's full of compromises. Just like in your parents relationship. There were things your mom wanted that your father didn't want. And then things he wanted. In the long run, they both got what they wanted in time."

"How?"

"They loved each other, that's how. They didn't want to ruin something so strong,"

"Grandma, I love you! Thank you so much!"

"I'm very confused. What just happened?" My dad asked.

"Your mother just solved our teenager's boy troubles in a matter of five minutes," my mom replied. I pushed my chair out and sprinted up the stairs to my room.

"Jesus, you scared me,"

"I'm sorry about before. Listen, you wanna go public, I'll go public with you. For you," Jackson said.

"I wanted to go public, I did. But if you don't want to, we can wait until you're ready. Truth is, what we have is real and I don't want to lose something that's only just begun,"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Of course, I'll want to go public. But a relationship is about compromising and I'm willing to do that,"

"Could you be anymore perfect?" He asked.

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