The skinny Kind of Beautiful

People call me fat. People call me lazy. Then as I put all the pieces together, I realize what I need to do to change.


8. the dream

I woke up with covers all around me. I tried to get up, but suddenly I couldn't move. I looked down. The girl from the video was creeping up to me, crawling closer and closer. ​"Need food, need fooood...​" It sounded like she was saying. She was really skinny. Her arms looked like the old sticks in my back yard. She opened her mouth. They were bare and sharp. I gasped and screamed, realizing she was about to eat me. Nobody was there. Suddenly the girl collapsed and turned into sawdust. I still tried to get up, but I couldn't get up. Then everything was quiet. The closet door crept and crept more open. I screamed again.
​"What's wrong, honey?" Moms voice said. I still couldn't see her shadow, or her. Nothing but darkness in the closet. "Mom," I said, with gasp in every breath. "I'm not okay. I have Anorexia. I need help, NEED HELP!" Still no movement or figure. "Well," Mom said, her voice as sweet as sugar. "Knocking at deaths door."
"​I said knocking at deaths door,"​ Her voice was hard and raspy. Then it fell silent. Then, before I could blink, A figure, all black from head to toe, in a tall top hat and black coat, rolled to my bead and reached to me with long, sharp nails. "Knocking at deaths door..."​ Then the figure threw me outside of my window, glass shattered and all. I landed on my butt. But it wasn't dark. I was on a familiar playground, in front of a familiar set of swings. Third grade. I looked down at my stomach. It was fat as ever. I gagged. Everything was close and blurry. Then I remembered I had glasses in third grade. There was that same group in that turned me down. I took a deep breath and walked over to them.
​"Hi, my name is Kathryn Halloway, and can I play with you? It looks pretty fun." I clasped my mouth. I didn't want to say that. Instead, I wanted to say, ​"You guys are dumb and stupid, and I don't care if I play with you. Go starve in a hole, or something, if you think you're all that skinny and stuff." ​ Instead of doing what she did before, she gave me the worst dead stare that I have ever received and clasped her hands around my neck. "​You cant escape this disease," she said in a devilish voice. "So live with it, because you will be fat for the rest of your life."
​I woke up, for real this time. The light shown in my eyes. Window. I squinted my eyes. No shattered window. I got up and grabbed my Barbie doll. Once I went into the bathroom, I did my daily check. ​Stomach weight, incorrect, as always, legs, incorrect, arms, incorrect, neck--​ as I put it up to my neck, I saw something, something very strange in particular.
​ Choke marks. Red choke marks.

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