The skinny Kind of Beautiful

People call me fat. People call me lazy. Then as I put all the pieces together, I realize what I need to do to change.

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2. hot water

somethin' will storm tonight." He pushed me back. Angry

 I sat in my locked room and stared at the Barbie doll that sat on my dresser across from my bed. I sighed and picked it up. I will regret this, I thought as I closed my eyes tight.
​ I walked into the bathroom across the hall and looked in the mirror. I held the Barbie doll next to me. I groaned in frustration at the sight.
​"Not even close!' I screamed. I stormed in my room and stepped on the scale. 110 pounds, it said. I groaned in frustration. I weighed too much. I need less weight. So I did as much dancing as I could for about 20 minutes and stepped on the scale. Now 108. I threw my hands up in the air. Nothing was ever good enough.
​ I stood on my bed and thought. My mom or dad doesn't know I am anorexic, but if they did, they wouldn't care. I know I am anorexic, but the thing that is keeping me from caring is my weight. My stomach growled, but I continued to sit there thinking. I haven't eaten for 5 days, and I feel fine. Maybe a couple of throw ups here and there, but it is fine.
"Time for school, Kat!" Mom called from across. I rolled my eyes and shoved my book bag into my hand as I walked across the hall.
​ "I don't need a lunch," I said as I walked past mom, who was holding a lunch bag to me. "What has gone into ​you Kathryn?" she said angrily. "you used to be sweet as a little girl."
​"Well, I am sixteen," I said, touching the doorknob. "I guess some things just change."
​I didn't see or hear anything else because I was outside then. A bunch o high school kids scattered on the street and sidewalk to get as fast to school. It was always as it has been: Jocks in the front, then cheerleaders, popular girls, popular boys, nerds, weirdos, normal, and goths, all in that order. I was in the normal section. But I wasn't normal. I was anorexic, had no friends, and carried a Barbie doll as a palsy weight. That is not normal.
​ Goldilocks and her friends were the cheerleaders, which meant they were all behind the jocks. They always looked back to make sure everything was in order, everyone was in place. They were bossy. That was my opinion. They were probably Atelophobic, a fear of imperfection. My tummy growled. I held it and stopped for a moment.
​"Are.. you okay?" a boy with tan hair asked me beside. I nodded my head and caught my self. "Are you maybe gonna throw up?" he asked, stopping beside me. I nodded my head, harder this time. He copied me and continued on. He probably didn't want puke on him, and he probably also didn't want to be in the weirdo's section.
​ I walked ahead early, right in front of the jocks, so I could get to school first and end the little nausea.
​"Hey!" Goldilocks called. "Go to the back of the line, waster!" I ignored her and continued, a little faster this time.
​"Hey waster!" A boy called this time. He grabbed me by my strap and pulled me back. "You listen to her, alright? Or somethin' is stormin' tonight." Angry at his violation, I threw a fist at him. He chuckled and touched his lip where I had swung.
"Run, girl, run!" someone shouted from the back.
​ Bu it was too late. Everybody was crowded around me.

 

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