Light Beams

I wrote this at school, and thought that it was worth sharing.
The task was to include one of some quotes about being kind.

The text is inspired by John Green. Things he has said in his videos on youtube, both on vlogbrothers and, I think, hankgames and things he has said on his podcast, Dear Hank and John.

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1. Light Beams

Time is experienced very differently. Sometimes you don’t know how the clock has changed its numbers so fast, other times, every minute feels like an hour. The different time-experiences usually happen depending on what kind of mood you are in. If you are sad, time seems to turn against you and force you to feel abysmal for even longer. When you need more time, it falls through your fingers like sand. That does not help the feeling that the world and everything on it, even parts of yourself, is against you.

Most people will have that feeling at least once in their lifetimes. The good thing about that is that many others have felt similar things as you, and can help. Even those who haven’t experienced the same, can do something. Just a smile or some encouraging words is enough.

I am so grateful for all the smiles I have gotten from strangers. Knowing that some people are nice. Some people care. Some people are good. Even if some people may only be one person. “Stranger” is a preposterous word. After all, every human is a stranger. Humans are worlds filled with unique thoughts and processes. We will never be able to know a person completely. There is always going to be some parts that will remain strange. We can’t understand everything. Not even ourselves. But we can try our best. Because when we try our best to see how others experience the world, we find out if they need help or not, and what kind of help they need. Thank you, every one of the strangers I have ever met, for opening up my eyes a little.

I have been saved by a stranger. She saved me from my own thoughts, those who wouldn’t agree, and those who turned against themselves. I was imprisoned in my own body, hating the fact that I was dependent on it. This shell that had the solely purpose of keeping the real me alive, in spite of being terrible at the job. Especially when you have a body that doesn’t work optimally, you feel like “you” is someone else. The you that thinks has nothing to do with the broken, useless container for it. But that isn’t true.

While I was walking out of a grocery store, the stranger softly touched my shoulder and told me these words. “Don’t let the windows in your home be so small that the light of the sun cannot enter your rooms.”

It made me think. Think about something else than my competing thoughts. Those thoughts that always fought, screaming at each other, forever louder, making my head feel too small. At first I felt like the home she was talking about was my body, the shell. Nothing but darkness entered through it and into my brain, because it was damaged, wrong. After some thinking, though, I realised that my body and mind cooperated. They both worked against the sunlight, closing everything shut, tight, like when a child closes its eyes at night, hoping for the darkness to go away. My body was a house, although it wasn’t my home. With my mind it was closer to being just that. A home. My home. I just needed everything to work together making the feeling of a home.

When I had figured out what my home was, I needed to focus on the windows. Letting the sunlight in. Letting people in. It is remarkable how you don’t listen to the advice of your friends and family, but listen to the words of a stranger. I don’t want to tell you why, because I don’t know. It may have something to do with our defence mechanisms. You don’t want to be vulnerable to someone you will meet again. But like I said, I don’t know.

By allowing the sunlight to hit me, allowing good thoughts to take root and nice people help, I started recovering. I understood how much impact a person can have on another person’s life, although they don’t know each other. The stranger taught me that we should always help each other. I believe that everyone sends out light beams, consciously or not, helping those in need of them. They hit someone, making the person happier. The happy person wants to do the same thing, making a chain reaction. The light beams fly everywhere, invisible carriers of good. Visualise it, and see how beautiful we can make the world, strangers together. 

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