Two Kinds of Queer

Two worlds. One where gay is normal and the other where straight is normal. Two girls struggling to make it in their worlds, and what would happen if their lives were swapped.

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2. Chapter 2 - Katie

     “Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you.”  I faced my parents; both of them with an expectant look on their face, waiting for me to speak.  Butterflies danced in my stomach as I formed the worlds in my mind, I’m Gay.  Who knew thoughts could be so hard to form into words? 

     “I…I’m…” Was as far as I got before I broke down into tears.  I felt a hand rub my back, and my father speak.

     “It’s okay, baby, whatever you have to tell us, just tell us.”  I sobbed on his shoulder until there were no more tears to cry, and only then did I open my mouth to speak once more.  My whole body shook as I shoved the words out of my mouth.

     “I’m Gay.”  The silence that followed seemed to stretch for ages.  It seemed the whole world had stopped to listen to the conversation we were having.  I swore if I dropped a feather I would be able to hear it hit the ground.  Suddenly, my father stood up and stormed out of the room leaving my mother and I facing each other.  A helpless look on her face told me that this wasn’t just saying I was gay and being okay with it, this was going to be a lifelong battle. 

     “Mom?”  I asked trying to get her to look at me when she turned her eyes away.  Tears slid down her cheek, but still she refused to look at me.  Her dark brown hair slid down to cover her face, and her shoulders began to shake.  The sounds of my father’s fists hitting the punching bag downstairs vibrated through the house, and at that moment, I knew my whole life was about to be changed.

*******

     I opened my eyes to sunlight coming through my window and birds chirping outside.  Getting up, I stretched, and winced as my skin pulled against my new cuts down my arms.  I looked at my bed and groaned – streaks of red stained my sheets from the cuts.  I had gone to bed without cleaning them properly, and now I had to clean out the blood before my parents saw it. 

     I listened carefully to see if either of them was still in the house, and when I was sure they weren’t, I made my way downstairs.  I ate cereal from the box, ignoring the milk in the fridge, and I went back upstairs closing the door to my room.  My phone buzzed and I sighed, 99% sure that it was going to be a text from someone at school insulting me.  I was right.

 

Why don’t you just go kill yourself? 

No one wants Queers in our world.

            I refused to respond to the text, earning me another message about two seconds later.

Are you crying, baby?

            Again, I refused to respond, throwing my phone on my bed.  There was just no one that cared about me anymore.  Ever since I had told my parents I was Gay, they had gone to great lengths to avoid me, and to tell everyone they knew.  The news had spread like a wildfire; soon everyone in town knew and turned their backs on me.  My best friend Claire stopped talking to me soon enough.

            I earned rude glances from teachers every time I messed up or had a question, I would get tripped in the hall, teased, made fun of, and even swirled in the toilet.  No one wanted to be friends with the Queer kid.  No one wanted to talk to the Queer kid.  No one even wanted to look at the Queer kid. 

            Even the people who were supposed to love me the most had abandoned me.  I was alone.

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