Call it love if you want...


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It all started right there in 8th grade. It was winter and i remember myself stalking him on facebook. Later i told my bestfriend about my crush on him. He was goodlooking, handsome and very attractive. Eventually my crush on him ended within some months and i got another crush on a guy in the same class. His name was Z. I was deep in his love and i loved everything about him. He was very different from the rest of the boys, which was the main cause of this surprising "love". I never told him how i felt, because i knew that he didnt feel the same way and i didnt want to be rejected. I have never been good at talking about the things you call feelings - which has fucked up a lot of things for me. All this was going on between mid 8th grade to the start of 9th grade.

So i was now in 9th grade and i was also at that point in my life where i questioned him and the things that were going on. I finally decided that i had to stop it and be over him! I did it, but it became something completely different and worse. It turned out to be the worst decision i intended to make and had made.

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