Letters to those who can relate.

{ we're all pawns living in this horrendous world of ours }



There will be many firsts in life,

First bike,

First hug,

First friend,

First kiss,

First time. 

These turn out to be quite exciting. 


But to every first there is,

There will always be a last,

Last time seeing them,

Last day of school ever,

Last time with somebody. 

These however will tear you apart. 


There is one that not many speak of,

the first heartbreak. 


It will happen suddenly when time comes. 

But before,

You wouldn't think much of heartbreak,

You were never attached to someone like that. 



Then you will meet him, 

He'll sweet talk you,

Out of the confinement of your room,

The comfort of yourself. 

He'll ask you to meet him at the park in the middle of the night. 

He'll tell you all the perfect things at the perfect time. 

He'll make you feel as if you're free. 


You're parents will constantly question,

Why are you constantly out with him?

Why haven't they met the boy?

Why haven't we even learned his name?

They'll go on about how this is unhealthy,

A secretive relationship. 


One night,

You guys decide to stay out late,

Later than any other night.

You guys planned to watch the sunrise. 

He'll drive out, 

To an open field.

Where the two of you be so alone,

But yet together. 


He'll talk about anything,

And everything. 

From why he believes sunrises are so cliché,

To why he loves that little freckle on your cheek.


And in that moment you will realize you love this boy.  


Your first true love.


Everything will be okay for a couple of months. 

But from there,

Things will only go south,

Because that's how life works. 


You'll call it off because he's a senior,

And quite tragically you aren't.

You can't help it,

You're completely,


And utterly in love. 


Your mother will stand by your door,

Hearing you cry over this boy,

The one she's never met. 

She'll say there's plenty of other ones out there. 

But none of them like him. 


It'll feel as if someone's gripped your heart,

And removed it from your chest. 

As if you cannot breath. 

It'll hurt more than anything else,

The first one always hurts the most. 


The thing about him was,

He made you feel so infinite,

Yet so small at the same time.

The way he'd hold you in his arms,

Kiss your forehead goodbye,

You'll miss all of it. 


A year will go by since you've said it's over. 

He'll look at you with sad eyes in the hall. 

He'll look like hell his last day of school,

Wishing that it never ended. 


But you'll make yourself believe it's alright,

It would've ended sooner. 

Because he was a senior,

And you weren't. 

"It wasn't going to work",

You'd tell yourself.

Nothing beautiful lasts forever. 


But that's life,

Everything good comes to an end. 

There's always a first for everything,

Especially heartbreaks. 




{ published 7/29/17 }

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