Dying within

This story will bring a lot of mixed emotions to your fragile little heart... But don't worry, it has a happy ending, or maybe not...
We follow the young and broken girl, Blair, in the fights against a world that are killing her. But what will end her first? The world or herself? We first meet the young girl Blair, in a hospital slowly dying. A boy called Daniel, have been gone for a long time, and are now scrambling up a lot of forgotten memories. It's not long before he sees some of the things she is dealing with, but how much is actually showing?


1. An old friend??

Do you know the feeling of  when you're just about to fall asleep, and you get the feeling of falling. And even though it's just a dream, you get so scared that your heart is beating so fast that it feels like you are dying. In that moment the whole world don't matter….



(7 months before)


“Forgive  you?! Why would I forgive you? You left me all alone in this place! I believed you, and you just left me” She looked almost shocked by her outburst, but only for a second, shortly ended by a lonely tear rolling down her pale freckled face. She looked down at her tightened fist, then up again. His face is so beautiful, like always. But then again, he’s an angel… or a demon… they all look so familiar. “Why did you come back…?” She whispered. “Why?!”

His mouth was beginning to move, but no words was coming out, and his eyebrows was as crumbled as her heart seemed in that moment. And just under them, his eyes. His beautiful blue-grey eyes, full of shattered hope of a brighter future. “I...I didn’t have a choice. You must believe me. I did all I... could” He stopped for a second. His whole body was shaking, and his eyes was all over her, tracking

every move she made. Not a single hair was unseen, he was remembering every part of her weak body. She looked so different, so strange. But how? He had only been gone for a year, at most. Or was it longer? Time seemed not to matter anymore to him, and was no longer as important as it used to be. He took a short, but quick step towards her. She looked scared for a moment, but the anger seemed to have a bigger hold on her mind. “Don't, just don’t.” Her hands was now in front of her body, like a shield ready to fight off all evil. “You made a choice . Your choice. You left me, not the other way around. I don't for a second think I will forget that. You made me sit here waiting like a dog tied up to an old tree. And I, Daniel Winter , will never forget that…!”

That name, he hadn’t heard that name in what seemed to be forever. As soon he had left he was given the number 12 56 87, the “name” he had to obey by … Just the sound of his name, his real name, was uncomfortably close to a past he had tried  so hard to forget. He grabbed her hands, not even giving her the chance to resist. “I'm not asking you to forgive me right away, maybe over time you....” He filled his lungs with air, like he was ready to scream but decided not to, and then exhaled. “I'm  just asking you to listen, just for a moment. And maybe even come to understand why I did as I did”. Was that a tear forming in the corner of his beautiful eye? Could it be? She had only seen him cry two times before, when his mom and dad was neutralized and.. and.. Why couldn’t she remember??  It was on the edge of her tongue, ready to let out all the demons of their past. It’s the problem with the treatments, it can wipe out some of the memories that are a couple of years old, even the important ones. It’s unfortunately of the side effects of it. But they’re working on it, to perfectionate it, to make it as perfect as they want everybody to be. But I'm not perfect in any way at all, I'm an abomination, as my father used to say to me. ´you are a freak of our society, and this is the gods way of punishing us for our sins!´ I must admit, he was a true drama-queen. Maybe that’s why they took him away? He was so sick in the head that they couldn’t do anything. In the past people like him would be locked in a mental hospital, no matter if it was clear that they NEVER would get any better. That’s not the case anymore. If they decide that you are too sick, psychologically or/and physically, your stay in this world gets terminated. I was, believe it or not, on the list to be neutralized. It’s now about five years ago. All the memories from that times is a bit blurry, but it still has a bitter sour taste in the back of my mouth.

“Blair?! Are you okay? Should I call for the nurse?” His hands was holding on tight to hers, not ready to let go yet. Her eyes was directed firmly on the single white rose dropped on the cold floor, surrounded by shattered glass from a crystal vase. Her breathing was heavy and struggled, and before she could say anything, he had let go of one of her hands and pressed the nurse call button.

“I..I.. don’t know what to say. I want to know everything, but am afraid what I might learn. You have changed so much. Even your face is somehow different... Daniel, how?” A tiny light was ignited in his eyes, and a shy smile appeared on his tanned face. “It´s called ageing” A careful small laughter left his rosy plump lips. She could feel the contagious effect of it, but held it back, and instead responded with a eyeroll and a melancholy face directed at him. “umm… I had a bit of plastic surgery done right after I left. Not much, but enough to get in without getting recognized as my father's son.  You know people always said I was like his young doppelganger, and I didn’t need the extra attention.” A small not left her worried head, still struggling to take in the dense air in the hospital room. “Can I tell you something? Can I Blair?” She looked up at him, and was met with a cheeky smile, one she could remember was given many times before. He removed some of her dark curly hair from the middle of her ivory coloured face, and placed his warm hand on her cheek.  “You are..” The door was opened, earning both of theirs attention, and in stepped an elderly nurse with white hair, big glasses and red lipstick. She looked just as surprised as them, as the door closed behind her. “You called  love, what’s the matter!? Is the young bloke bothering you?” She looked dire and ready to fight with every 62 inch of her body. “No Mrs Blackwood, he is not bothering me. It’s my lungs again, they won’t let me be.” “I'm sorry love, I'll see what I can do about that. How long ago was it when dr Hartmann gave you your medicine?” She walked straight to the bed, not even a heartbeat was given to the peace offering lying shattered on the ground, and Daniel was ignored to the fullest.  “I don’t know, maybe a couple of hours ago.” Mrs Blackwood's face turned stone cold, and she mumbled something underneath her breath “Damn him… I have told him so many times…” Daniel looked at Blair, who was slowly turning blue. She gave him a quick smile and  mimed “I'm okay”, but he could see how scared and in pain she was. He took her hands and sat down on the wobbly hospital bed. Blair looked up at Mrs Blackwood, who gave her a cautious headnod, and took a oxygen mask out from a small cabinet and placed it on Blair's dying  face. Her eyes started to roll and her body began to tense up. Daniel started to panic, and his grip on her hands tightened. Soon a full seizure was attacking Blair's small body. Ms Blackwood began yelling “Get out!!” while fumbling after something in her bag. “What! Why? I'm not going anywhere.. I...I.. need.. I mean, she needs me!”. His face was now bright red, and the words had a hard time coming out. Ms Blackwood looked up at him with a worried face. “Then make yourself to use, grab her and hold her down! Don’t let go.” He did as told without  hesitation, but was quickly startled by the biggest needle he had ever seen, pulled out from Ms Blackwood's bag, followed by a pair of scissors.  “Hold her down, no matter what!” With a swift hand she cut up Blair's blouse, revealing her naked skin. Ms Blackwood took the needle and stabbed her in the middle of the chest. The following seconds felt like minutes, hours even days. And then, a breath taken. She didn’t wake up right away, but she was no longer blue as the sea.

Daniel sat down by her side again. The whole world was spinning, tumbling around like winter leafs in the cold air. Ms Blackwood looked calm, but her face was covered in deep worries. “She will be alright love.” Her voice was so soothing, even with the strong British accent. “Help me getting her  dressed again, won't you?” Daniel gave a little nod. He was looking down at her skinny arms, covered in scars from a battle that not was over yet. A couple stood out, but one was heartbreakingly large, running from the wrist to the middle of her arm. Mrs Blackwood shaw what he was staring at, and carefully took the white and blue blanket Blair was laying with and covered her arms, then looked mournfully up at Daniel. “She has been through alot as you know love, and that left a mark on her heart. I was surprised that she lasted as long as she has, you know with her sickness and all. Is in so much pain everyday, and it will only get worse.” A rare sight appeared behind her glasses, but was quickly swept away with a fast hand. “She have tried many times before and in many different ways, that poor girl” . Daniel whispered with a small voice “when are she going to wake up?”


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