Secret PenPal - A michael fan fic

Written in y/n's point of view!

You have been builed since you started high school and there was only one person to blame; Michael. Everyone follows his lead and thinks he is sooo funny.
Luckily for you, you don't need anyone else but your best friend... until one day you write a song lyrics from a very unknown band on your table in the math class and someone continues the lyrics the next day. The messages on the table becomes small notes and you are bounding with this unknown penpal on levels you could never imagine. The person brights up your day and you help each other through troubles, but who might this secret pen pal be? (story is posted on tumblr as well under the name Calmimagines)

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5. Chapter 5

The next few days were horrible. You didn’t want to get out of bed but Kate wrote you and said that she would come and get you herself, if you didn’t show up at school. You parked your car and looked around to see if Michael was anywhere near but there were only a few younger students so you stepped out and hurried to the entrance. That was the way you walked around the whole day. You knew that the sighed of Michael could make you break down or lose yourself and you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. You simply just wanted to avoid him completely. That’s why you hadn’t written him back in math class. Even though you hated him, you couldn’t stop yourself from reading his notes. He kept writing about you and the song. About new music he discovered and how he missed. He knew you were in school because his notes kept disappearing and no one but you two knew where you hid them.

It was weird. You had hated this guy for as long as you have been going to this school, but you had come to like him through the notes. But the thing is, you didn’t know if you were disappointed by the fact that it was him or the fact that you could not tell him who you were because he hated you as well. Worst case scenario if you told him he would have so many new things to tease you with and everyone would go along with it because he was Michael Clifford; The most popular guy on the school. But if you tried to tease him back with what you knew about him, no one would believe you. You were the weird girl with the weird nickname.

You walked with Kate into the cafeteria before the math class but you stop as soon you inside. At the first table was Michael sat facing the door and now you. On the table with the back turned away from you was Jenna. She was running her fingers through Michael’s hair. It was disgusting to look at. Your eyes caught Michael when you past him and at first he didn’t say anything. His eyes looked kind of dead and not present but when Jenna noticed you she slapped Michael’s shoulder and pointed at you. Michael turned around and his dead look turned to a smirk.

“Hey tree-kisser! I’m surprised to see you here! Your car looks so old and rusty that I’m wondering how it’s still driving.” He called after you but you didn’t stop to say anything back at him. You would have done it a week ago and called him out and called him a twat or a prick. But not now that you knew, that the guy that was making you feel like shit was the guy you had actually come to like, a guy that you had opened up to. You started to feel your eyes burn and you could not cry in the middle of the cafeteria. Luckily Kate knew you all too well and grab your arm and let you outside to sit on a bench.

“I’ll grab you some lunch, okay?” She said and patted your shoulder before she walked in again. You were lucky to have her. She didn’t pressure you to say anything or forced you to hang out. She left you alone when you needed it. You breathed and got a hold on yourself. You just had to stop thinking about him. That’s all.

 

When you got to the math class you debated with yourself if you should read the note or not. You didn’t want anything to do with him, but still you couldn’t stop yourself from reading the notes. It only took 5 minutes before you were reaching under the table to find the note, jut of pure boredom.

I know you have been busy in math class or something. I try to tell myself that anyway, because I’m afraid of losing you. I imagine you being a really good student and you have a notebook that is almost better than the textbook at this point. You have to let me borrow your notes at the next exam.
Anyway I just want to tell you that it’s not going too well at home at the moment. I’m kind of afraid to write it because it feels like it only makes it more real. But my mom is missing at the moment. Or I don’t know if missing is the right word, but she walked out and never got home. She has been gone for 4 days now and I haven’t heard from her. I’m just afraid that something could have happen to her.

You looked in shock at the note in your hand. Michael was suffering right now. That was what the dead look was about. He was thinking about his mom. He was worried but didn’t want to tell anyone. It was heartbreaking. Right at this moment you wanted nothing but hug him. Hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. But you couldn’t. You felt bad now, because you hadn’t written him back the last many days. He had seems ok in his last few letters so you didn’t feel like writing back, but he was hiding this away for many days. Probably because you didn’t write him back. You hurried to find a piece of paper.

I’m so sorry that I haven’t answers any of your notes. I have had some tough days I had to get thought. I really am sorry, especially now that you tell me this.
Trust me, just mom is going to come home and I’m sure she is okay. You tell me your parents are fighting quiet often, so I’m sure she is just cooling down somewhere. Hang in there!

You closed your eyes as you placed the note under the table. Why did this have to be so hard?

 

You had been avoiding Michael for so long, but after the last note you just had to see if he was okay. You didn’t have to talk to him, you just had to see him and know he wasn’t completely alone. You parked your car the next day and looked around the parking lot to find his car, but it wasn’t there. You were early anyway, so it didn’t have to mean anything. You kept looking around you the whole day and Kate was staring at you weirdly at lunch and finally she had enough.

“Who are you looking for?” She asked and sighed.

“I’m looking for Michael.” You whispered, so only she could hear you.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s not here, so he can’t insult you today.” She said and took a bit of her sandwich.

“What he isn’t here?”

“No he wasn’t in math. Why do you care? You told me that you stopped writing him anyway.”

“I did. But yesterday he told me in a letter that his mom is actually missing and I just want to…”

“What to what? Walk up to him and comforted him? I’m sorry but you know how he is and it will only turn out ugly. Try not to think about it, okay? I don’t want to see you unhappy because of that guy.” She said honestly. You sat there for a moment and thought about it and she was right. You couldn’t really do anything for him beside write a note.

When you reached under your table that day, you only found your own note. So he really wasn’t at school, but where was he then? Was he just sitting at home all alone or was he out looking for his mom? Either way, you couldn’t really do anything to help him. He wouldn’t accept your help if he knew who you were. The whole idea was so stupid anyway. Why fall for a guy that was this mean to you in the first place? You couldn’t fall for your bully. It’s kind of like Stockholmer syndrome! Just… without the kidnapping. You tried to shake the thought of him out of your head and concentrate about the math for once.

You walked out from math angry. How dare he actually fill up your head with all the worry when in reality he was an ass? He could not just leave a letter like that and then just stay away! You walked out of the class and over to just locker to find the books you needed to take with you home for homework when you noticed James. If someone could distract you from Michael, it was James. He stood at his locker and nodded his head to the beats of some music that was playing in his headphones. With all the mix up emotions you had saving up, you had totally forgot how nervous you were when you came anywhere near James. So you just marched up to him and patted him on the shoulder. He immediately took of his headphones and smiles at you. That fucker! But before your knees became jelly, you smiled back at him.

“Hey James! I was wondering if you wanted to go to this concert with me? I have heard of this cool band that will play at the theatre stage downtown tonight.” You kept on smiling but the nervousness creeped up on you and your eye started to twitch. However it didn’t look like James noticed it and he shrugged with a huge grin.

“Sure why not? I’ll meet you there at 7?”

“Yeah cool.” You said and started to run away. As soon you came outside the school and saw Kate you freaked out. You tried to calm yourself and breathed in and out hard while Kate was panicking around you and made you stick your head between your legs to get some blood back into your head.

“What happened?” She asked while she was holding your head down with a hand on your neck.

“I kind of just… asked James out to the concert downtown… tonight.” You muttered. You couldn’t believe it yourself.

“You did what? Are you serious?!” She was almost hyperventilating as much as you suddenly.

“Kate… You have to go with me. Take Anthony with you. I don’t care! I can’t do this alone!” You whined.

“Yes!! Finally I get me double date!” Kate celebrated and took your arm and pulled you to your car.

“We are going home to your place right at this moment! I’ll call Anthony in the car and we are going to make you look even more beautiful than ever! He is going to fall for you so bad, that he will come crawling and drooling all over your floor and…”

“Kate stop! That’s gross.”  You complained but there was no way out. She called Anthony while you drove to your house. He didn’t sound like he was excited at all, but you were glad that he was going as well. Then the two of them could have some kind of guys’ talk, when you didn’t know what to talk about. Kate stormed into your room and you slowly followed, still not believing you were doing this. You sat on your bed while Kate was already in your closet to kind something she wanted you to wear. You threw your bag on the bed and the force mad it open a little and books and paper were falling out. You hurried to collect it all and out it back in the bag before Kate threw a stack of clothes on top of it. But the latest of Michael letter caught your eyes and you instantly felt bad again.

“This one! It’s so cute! Why do you never wear this?” Kate was holding up a black dress in front of her. A dress you got from your mom ages ago, but never really used because it was not a casual dress and you never really went to parties anyway.

“It’s not really a ‘everyday dress’.” You said shrugging.

“But it’s not every day you are going out with James! You have had a crush on him for ages!”

“Yeah. I don’t know how this happened.” You did though. It all happened because of Michael.

“Now get the dress on and let your hair fall. We are going to headbang the shit out of this concert.” She squealed. You threw the letter back in the bag and got up to put on the dress. You didn’t want to think about the reason why you ended up in this situation. You were going to enjoy your date with the boy you had admired from afar for so long. You had to forget about Michael and his problems.

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