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3. Forever and Always|Blurry Face & brandyluvsonedirection

Cover (Individual rating: 10/10)

Very cute! I like how you made a collage come together so smoothly that it looks like one large image. I also love how it drew me in with just the right amount of colour to catch the eye but not so much that the cover is too bright and busy. I honestly wouldn’t change anything so good job to you or whoever made it!

 

Blurb (Individual rating: 6.5/10)

Not bad. It didn’t give too much away from the story and opened the readers up to some questions about the story without giving away an entire plot, which I really like. It also gave me the vibe of a little mystery involved. With this being said, it seemed a little bit rushed to me. There were a lot of grammar and spelling errors that may be difficult for some people to interpret. I always recommend proof-reading on the blurb because that’s the first thing most people on Movellas are going to read! I know that for myself, if I find the blurb sloppy and full of errors I’ll likely assume the story itself is also full of errors and move on to find something else to read. Keep that in mind and try to fix those errors and it’ll be great!

 

Story (Individual rating: 7.5/10)

This is the first time I’ve read a 1D fanfiction in forever!! I think I came in with a bit of a bias though because I wasn’t really a “Larry” shipper in the way that this story portrays it, however, I don’t like to let bias influence my opinions!! The story started out very strong with a really good concept. I like how you introduced the characters in the very beginning and their different thoughts about their feelings for each other. The dialogue is really good, it doesn’t take up the entire story which is great, I like paragraphs with a bit of description as well as dialogue instead of just pure talking between the characters, which makes it dull. The plot itself is a bit unrealistic (but what fanfiction is, right?), for example, I would have LOVED to see Harry & Louis stay in their family homes and further expand on their romance while trying to keep their sexual feelings from their families, but that’s just my personal preference.

Chapter length was also a small issue I had with this. I found your chapters to be really short, and what you wrote in 2 or 3 chapters, could have been done in 1 (I.e., chapters 6,7, and 8 could have been put together instead of being broken up). This breaks the continuity of the story and may get frustrating for some people to read. Imagine your chapters like an essay in school; imagine trying to read an essay but after each paragraph the author started typing the next paragraph on the next page, gets frustrating, right? I recommend trying to put multiple points of view in each chapter and adding more detail to all your chapters, and like I said, try blending chapters together where it makes sense. You also had some slight grammar issues, however those didn’t affect the flow of the story very much at all.

 

Total Rating: 8/10

Overall, great job! I really liked the premise of the story and did enjoy reading it. If you continue with the story and include my tips, I can see it becoming a popular fanfiction with lots of reads & likes. I hope this was helpful!

- Catherine

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