Harry Potter, Unexpected Animagus

With the love of a good woman, Harry becomes more confident and learns to handle the embarrassment that comes from being a teenage boy as well as an unexpected animagus. Set during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Severe Ron bashing ahead.



8. Chapter 8

As the Marauders left the hospital wing with Fred almost completely healed, they ran into their team's three Chasers just outside the infirmary door. The tall, dark skinned girl, Angelina Johnson, winked at her fellow Chasers. She turned to face the first twin she found, which just happened to be George. Angelina leaned in to give him a brief kiss on the cheek before she said, "Thanks for asking me to the Yule Ball, Fred."

George spun to face his twin, his jaw clenched in anger. "You filthy son-of-a-Malfoy! You KNEW I fancied Angelina and was just trying to work up the courage to ask her out!" he snarled. George took one threatening step towards Fred and shouted "You…" before he registered the look of utter confusion on his twin's face. George let his shoulders relax as he continued, "… have absolutely no idea what she's talking about and I've just been pranked into admitting I fancy a girl in front of her and her best mates." Fred nodded his head while a smirk of admiration for how George had been played crept across his face.

Going down on one knee, George grabbed Angelina's hand and asked impulsively, "Will you marry me?"

Angelina laughed as she helped George up to his feet. "How about we start off with something a little easier?" she countered.

"Okay, how about… will you go with me to the Yule Ball?" George inquired.

"Yes, I would be delighted to go with you. Thank you for asking, George," Angelina replied. She gave him another kiss on the cheek before heading down to breakfast with Alicia and Katie. As she walked away, Angelina looked back over her shoulder and said, "I look forward to helping Professor McGonagall teach you how to dance after breakfast." The Marauders chuckled when they realized that even their stern Head of House must have had a part in setting up that "prank" on George.

The group of friends only made it a dozen meters before Cedric Diggory and his vampire groupie girlfriend, Cho Chang, stepped out from an alcove. "Harry, since we rarely see each other, I haven't had a chance to thank you for telling me about the dragons," Cedric told him.

Harry noticed that Cedric looked very happy while Cho looked like she had just bitten into a very sour lemon. The Gryffindor champion shrugged his shoulders slightly in confusion. "It was the fair thing to do. You don't need to thank me," he replied.

Cedric smiled and shook his head in amusement. "You truly believe that, I can see it in your eyes, Harry. With that much compassion and fairness flowing through you, your courage has to be off the charts if the Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor instead of Hufflepuff," he half joked. "But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'm in your debt, while both Cho and I are in Hermione's," Cedric stated.

"I would have figured it out eventually," Cho whined, interrupting her boyfriend.

Cedric patted her soothingly on the back, not realizing he was being slightly patronizing. "I'm sure you would have, Cho. It's just Hermione is the smartest person in the school and if anybody would know how to fix our little problem, it would be her. Within a day of me describing our problem to her, she came back with the answer. I don't have to remind you that you seem pretty happy with the results. We've been using it daily since then after all," he reminded her. Cho bristled even more at being reminded that not only was a fourth year student considered smarter than her. It drove her mad that said girl was a Gryffindor to boot. Changing subjects, Cedric looked at Harry and asked, "Harry, have you figured out the clue from your egg yet?"

Harry shook his head no. "The thing only screeches at me when I open it," he admitted.

"Same thing happened to me until a teacher gave me a hint," Cedric confided. He put his arm around Harry's shoulder and guided him a few steps away from the group. "Originally, I was going to give you the same cryptic clue the teacher gave me about taking it to the prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor, but with Hermione's help for our problem, I decided to just come out tell you what to do with it. Place the egg under water and open it up. If you stick your head underwater as well, you can hear the clue," he explained. When he was done speaking, Cedric walked back to Cho and took her hand to lead her down to breakfast. As the couple stepped into a pool of sunlight coming in from one of the windows, the Hufflepuff champion glittered like a cheap stripper.

When Cedric and Cho were out of sight, the rest of the Marauders joined Harry. Harry looked questioningly at Hermione and asked, "What problem did you help Cedric and Cho with?"

"We all know Cho is a vampire groupie. Ever since the first task, she had been getting more and more irritable. I don't think she thought the whole transformation thing through. Cedric confirmed this when he confided in me that Cho was very disappointed when Cedric's penis was unable to rise from the dead as well," Hermione replied. "I found the answer to their problem in the book your parents had put together. Turns out all a vampire needs to satisfy their partner is a variation of the petrificus totalus spell - petrificus partialus," she explained. The twins looked confused while Neville just started to laugh.

"I don't get it," George admitted.

"When Hermione cast the petrificus totalus spell on me during our first year, my entire body was stiff as a board," Neville stated. "What would happen if you could focus that on one particular part of the body?" he asked, posing the question to the twins.

Fred was just an instant behind George when their eyes widen slightly in comprehension. "Oooooh," they said in unison.

Hermione nodded her head and took over the explanation. "Granted, the subject has to lay on their stomach in such a way that gravity pulls the penis into the right position prior to the spell being cast. Lily's notes even suggested tying some weights to the end of the penis to get it to lengthen like an erection, but she could never get James to let her try it on him," she explained. Like Lily, Hermione couldn't quite understand why the men in her life winced at the thought of tying weights to the end of the "wands". Minor discomforts had to be shouldered if scientific inquiry was to continue after all. With a shrug, Hermione led them to the Great Hall for breakfast while the male Marauders subconsciously held their hands in front of their groins.

Fleur picked at her breakfast and looked around the Great Hall for her quarry. She wanted to thank the Marauders for saving her life. One of the Marauders in particular was due a very personal thank you from her. Fleur chuckled to herself when she didn't see Harry and his merry band of vigilantes. She had managed to figure out who the Marauders were from simple observations. As a Veela, it was important to always be aware of her surroundings and as such she spent most of each meal in the Great Hall observing as many students as she could. The fact that all of the "smart" Ravenclaws she had asked had no idea of the identities of the Marauders just proved the continental saying, "Stupidity comes in three levels of increasing force: stupid, very stupid, and British Wizard stupid."

Harry and his friends had been the obvious choice for the new Marauders. That only left figuring out which magical animal was which. The forest guardian known as Groot had been the first Marauder Fleur had figured out the secret identity of. Prior to their introductory prank, Neville Longbottom had seemed constantly nervous and fidgeted during meals. After the prank, the Longbottom boy sat eerily still like a tree in the forest. When he did move, each of his movements had a definite purpose with an economy of motion usually not found in humans.

Velma's identity was the next one to fall in place. Fleur had always felt sorry for how the Ravenclaws treated one of their own. She knew what it felt like it to be ostracized for being different and had paid extra attention to how the third year student behaved. Luna Lovegood had switched from eating a diet of mostly fruits and vegetables to one that was almost exclusively meat. While Fade was also a carnivore, the way Luna tore into her rare steaks with unbridled glee had Fleur's money on her being the Vabbit. That left Hermione Granger as Fade the Cheshire Kneezle. This was confirmed when Fleur noticed Hermione's slight clumsiness had been replaced with a cat like grace.

That left only Scorch the Dragon and the Janus the Chaos Monkey. Fleur hadn't needed to see the white lightning bolt scales on the magnificent dragon in the forest to figure out Harry was Scorch. The way Harry slowly scanned around the Great Hall was way too similar to how a dragon sits on their mountaintop and looks over their territory for any signs of a threat for him to be anything else.

Fleur had to hand it to the Marauders for their choice of names for the pair of Chaos Monkeys, Janus. Most of Hogwarts would be looking for one person since they didn't realize the name clearly indicated two beings. With the Veela hailing from the Mediterranean area, Fleur was very familiar with the Roman gods and knew all about the binary nature of Janus. As creatures with two forms themselves, Janus (or Ianos as he was known in the Greek pantheon) was revered by the Veela, second only to Aphrodite. Fleur whispered a quick prayer to both deities when the Marauders walked into the Great Hall.

The Marauders came to a stop when Fleur got up from the Ravenclaw table and moved to intercept them. When she stood in front of them, Harry bowed and spoke in halting French, "Good morning, my fellow Champion." After a moment he added with a grin, "Please tell me I just said 'Good morning' and not for you to go stick your elbow in a jar of marmalade. I had Hermione teach me how to greet you, but I'm afraid her sense of humour has become as questionable as mine."

Fleur laughed and returned the bow with an elegant curtsy. She turned to look at Hermione and winked at her. "I think it would do no good to tell him what he said. Boys should be forced to find out things like that on their own. It's the only way they'll learn," she told her. The Marauders, including Harry, chuckled at his expense. "I wanted to thank you all for keeping me from being hurt during that 'Quidditch scrimage' the other night," she said loudly, using the term she had heard Madame Pomfrey use to explain away Fred Weasley's back injury. She leaned forward and whispered, "I would like to have a private word with the Janus who nearly sacrificed his life to save mine."

Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Luna walked off to take their places at the Gryffindor table near Angelina Johnson. For a moment, George thought about pulling their usual name game, but decided against it. He gave his brother an affectionate slap on his good shoulder before he took the seat next to Angelina.

Fleur smiled at her personal hero. "So which of the 'Twin Clown Princes of Hogwarts' are you?" she asked playfully.

"I'm the smart one, the guy over there is the good looking one," Fred replied teasingly. When Fleur rolled her eyes he added quickly, "I'm Fred Weasely, it's a pleasure to meet you under better conditions, Ms. Delacour."

"Please, call me Fleur. It would seem rather formal to call me Ms. Delacour after I've kissed you," she whispered.

"Wait… what did you say?!" Fred asked, clearly confused.

Instead of giving him a verbal response, Fleur grabbed the front of his robes and gave him a kiss so passionate, it brought conversations around the House and staff tables to a standstill. The kiss only broke when both participants had to stop for air. Fleur couldn't keep the huge smile off of her face. She already knew Fred was handsome, funny, and brave to a fault, but now her magic confirmed that he would be the perfect match for her. He was also a great kisser.

"That's what I thought you said," Fred joked while blinking away his surprise.

"Monsieur Fred Weasley, would you do me the honor of being my escort for the Yule Ball?" Fleur inquired as she slid her right hand into his left hand.

Fred held up a finger on his other hand in a gesture of asking for her to pause for a moment. "Just a tick, let me check with my social secretary," he requested. "Oi, George! Am I free for the Yule ball?" he yelled loudly across the room.

George stood up, grinning from ear to ear for his brother. "Considering you didn't have the stones to ask any other girl yet, and the most beautiful girl in the school already said she'd be my date, yeah, you're free," he yelled back.

As George sat back down, those near her could hear Angelina mutter happily under her breath, "Someone's getting lucky soon."

Fred shrugged his shoulders as if conceding a point and then looked back at Fleur. The look in his eyes said he was ecstatic that she had asked him. "Yes, Fleur, I would love to be your escort for whatever event you may ask," he said without his usual playfulness. This caused several students and half of the staff to do a double take at the sincerity in his voice. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Just do me a favor. Please don't use your allure on me. I want to get to know the real Fleur Delacour - the girl who stood up to a dozen Death Eaters."

Fleur's heart nearly skipped a beat. She had purposefully dialed her allure down as far as she could because she wanted to see what Fred would say without it influencing him. He had just confirmed what her magic had told her. Fred was interested in her, not her Veela allure.

Fleur's good mood was threatened when Rodger Davies jumped up from his seat near the head of the Ravenclaw table. "You said you would go with ME to the ball!" he screamed, causing Professor Flitwick to bury his face in his hands.

Fleur turned to look at Rodger without letting go of Fred's hand. "Non, Monsieur Davies! I said I would think about it. Well, I have thought about it. I have made my choice and I choose Fred Weasley!" Fleur snarled, emphasizing the last sentence.

Hermione spit out her pumpkin juice when Fleur made that statement in such a particular way. Seeing Madame Maxime was also having trouble swallowing showed that the half-giantess had picked up on the wording as well. After the Quidditch World Cup, Hermione had researched Veela and the effects they had on men. One of the books she was able to get her hands on was written by a Veela that spoke of their customs and traditions, specifically their mating rituals. [I wonder if I should tell Fred that Fleur just declared she had chosen him as her life mate? Nah… it will be more fun to watch this play out if I don't say anything,] she mused.

"Sorry, the juice went down the wrong way," Hermione said as she used her napkin to wipe up the mess she made. While she was wiping, Hermione gave Harry a look that said she would explain later.

Fleur held her head high and turned her back on Rodger. "Fred, do you think your friends would mind if another person joined you for meals?" she inquired loudly.

The Marauders looked at each other and then leaned over the table as if they were in a heated discussion. When they were done, the Marauders (plus Angelina) stood up, bowed, and pointed to a place setting that had materialized between where Neville and Fred usually sat.

"I think I will take them up on their invitation," Fleur giggled.

"You can't sit there! That's the Gryffindor table. You have to sit where the school assigned you… with Ravenclaw… next to me! That's the rules!" Rodger shouted, his face turning red with rage.

Fleur pointed at Luna. "Obviously zat is not ze rules. Mademoiselle Lovegood sits with ze Gryffindors and she iz a Ravenclaw," she pointed out, her anger causing her accent to thicken dramtically.

Cho stood up and sneered at Luna. "She's not a real Ravenclaw. Ravenclaws are supposed to be chosen for their wit and intellect. Loony over there has neither," she spat. After a moment, Cho added viciously, "On second thought, maybe you should sit over there. You're a Veela. With those enormous eyes, Luna is obviously part House Elf. Mongrels like you two should be kept apart from the better stock." The rest of the Ravenclaws (including the first years who were just imitating their older housemates) nodded their heads in agreement.

Without standing up, Luna yelled back, "Sadly, I am not related to the House Elves. They are a truly wondrous and noble species, and I would boast of it if I were their kin." While she truly believed this, it never hurt to let the invisible House Elves roaming the Great Hall know where their allies sat. For her part, Cho just snorted in disgust and sat back down.

Professor Flitwick jumped onto the staff table to berate Cho and Rodger, at least that was his plan until he made eye contact with Harry. The look Harry gave the small professor said that the Ravenclaws had crossed the line and the Marauders were going to put them in their place. Flitwick thought about things for a moment and then gave a small bow to Harry to cede the administration of justice to the Marauders before taking his seat again. Once he was seated, Flitwick turned his face to look at Fleur who gave him a short nod to let him know she picked up on the byplay between Harry and him. Her feral smile showed that she approved of his decision to let the Marauders handle things. Flitwick made a mental note to talk to Madame Maxime later to make sure she knew the horrible behavior of his Ravenclaws was not going to go unpunished. If anything, their eventual punishment would be much more dramatic than anything the school charter would allow him do as a teacher.

Fleur sat down at the Gryffindor table between Fred and Neville to a chorus of warm greetings that were especially loud from the male population of the House. After she had taken a few bites of food, Hermione started chatting with her in fluent French. Seeing the smile this brought to Fleur's face, Fred vowed he would start taking language lessons as soon as possible.

"Fleur, I've done some research on Veela allure and how it's a combination of passive magic mixed with pheromones. However, I couldn't find anything written on how it affected animagus, especially ones with magical forms. I have a theory about how it might affect the male Marauders and was wondering if you would be game to help me test it out?" Hermione asked, confident that none of the other students around her could speak French.

Fleur cocked her head to the side as she thought about it. "I would be happy to assist you, Fade. Just promise me you and Velma won't get angry with me if Scorch and Groot act stupid while under my allure's influence," Fleur stated.

"I think I've come to the same conclusion as Fade and promise we won't be upset," Luna said in French, startling Fleur and Hermione.

"I trust you and have to admit I'm curious as well. What would you like me to do?" Fleur inquired.

"In a moment, I would like you to start raising your allure and we'll observe how the boys react," Hermione suggested. Fleur nodded and counted to twenty in her head before she closed her eyes and slowly raised the level of her allure up to what she thought of as the maximum safe level.

Harry was the first to show any sign that something had changed, but his response was not something Fleur had ever encountered before. Instead of focusing all of his attention on her, Harry had a distracted look on his face as he glanced around the table with a slight frown. The twins both had somewhat pleased smiles on their faces. George also ignored Fleur and leaned over to give Angelina a small kiss on the cheek. Most surprising was Neville seemed to have no reaction whatsoever.

With a raised eyebrow, Fleur looked over at Hermione. The French witch had never heard of any males having such limited reactions to a Veela's allure. Hermione nodded once and made a slight lifting motion with her hand. Fleur nodded back and pushed her allure to full strength. Up and down the Gryffindor table, young males were staring at Fleur with glassy eyed expressions. A few of them even had drool dribbling out the side of their mouths. The only young men who weren't completely entranced were the Marauders.

Harry looked around and even turned in his seat as if searching for something. Hermione put her hand on his shoulder. "Is everything okay, Harry?" she asked.

"Something smells really strange and I can't figure out what it is. It's not a bad smell, just a really strange one," Harry replied.

Fred and George both shifted in their seats to relieve some of the pressure in their trousers. "I don't smell anything strange, but I just had a sudden and unexplained Goblin uprising in my trousers," Fred admitted.

"Same here," George said, blushing slightly when Angelina smirked at him.

"How about you, Neville? Do you notice anything strange?" Hermione asked.

Neville shook his head no. "I don't smell anything and…" he started to say before Luna shot her hand down the front of his pants again. "Neville does not have an erection," Luna stated. After a moment she added, "Oh wait, he's starting to get one now."

"That's because you're holding my wand, Dear," Neville pointed out.

Luna beamed a beautiful smile at Neville since he used a term of endearment for her. "Yes, I am," she agreed.

Several seconds passed before Neville stated, "Luna, you still have a hold of my penis."

Still smiling Luna replied, "Yes, I do. You're such an observant person." When Luna's hand still stayed down Neville's pants, Hermione gave her a dirty look. "Oh, pooh," Luna muttered as she let go of her new favorite toy and put both hands on the table.

Fleur closed her eyes and dialed her allure back down to the lowest level she could make it. Hermione smiled and said, "Thank you, Fleur. That went almost exactly like I had hypothesized it would."

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.

Hermione snuck her wand out of her pocket and cast a muffling spell around them. "I hypothesized that our magical animagus forms have caused a greater shift in our physiology than a normal animagus form would. The fact that your animagus forms are extremely magical animals should affect how you four reacted to a Veela's allure. I was right and your reactions were exactly what I expected them to be based off of the class of animals your forms fit into," she lectured.

"English please, Hermione," George requested.

Hermione frowned at him. "Veela allure only works on humans, otherwise they would have to stay away from all male animals. As simians, Janus is the closest relation to humans. That's why you both experienced spontaneous erections," she explained. "As a reptile, Scorch could detect the pheromones, but it didn't have any effect on him. Groot is… well, Groot. His biology is so different, no amount of Veela allure would ever register with him," she pointed out.

"Are you sure it's not because he's… how do you say it… bent?" Fleur inquired.

Neville banged his head on the table in frustration while Luna gave Fleur her usual dreamy smile. "By scientific experimentation, we have conclusively proven that Neville does indeed like girls," she assured Fleur to shared laughter amongst the Marauders.

When breakfast was over, Fred hopped off of his seat and offered his hand to Fleur to help her up. "Why thank you, Fred," she said with a smile. Once she was standing, she asked, "Do you have plans for the rest of the morning?"

Fred gave Fleur a crooked smile. "We've got detention with Professor McGonagall for a prank that we didn't think through fully," he told her. He squeezed her hand when she frowned in disappointment. "Our detention consists of her and Professor Flitwick trying to teach us to dance. If you're not busy, I sure could use a partner to help me learn," he suggested.

Fleur's frown evaporated while she let out an excited, "Oui! I would love to!"

**** Unexpected Animagus****

The Marauders, including their newest member, Fleur Delacour, flopped down onto the couches spaced around the walls of the Lair. They had offered to include Angelina in their merry band of misfits, but she had declined citing the need for plausible deniability if she ever wanted to captain their Quidditch team.

"Who knew three hours of dancing could be so exhausting?" Hermione moaned as Harry rubbed a cramp out of her calf.

"Who knew Flitwick and McGonagall had that much energy? Wood's all day training sessions are less exhausting than what they put us through," George added, rubbing his own tired feet. Fred nodded in agreement as he massaged Fleur's feet. He now suspected Oliver had been given instructions on how to exhaust a person from McGonagall when Wood was named captain.

"At least it wasn't all bad. We survived, learned a few new steps, and got a new Marauder out of the deal," Luna pointed out.

"But I am not an animagus," Fleur stated even though she was thrilled to be part of a group of friends that had such a wonderful sense of purpose.

"Neither was Moony, but they used the image of a Wolf for him when they left calling cards," Fred countered. "What type of animal should we use for Fleur?" he asked.

Luna sat up straighter and suggested, "How about an eagle? Her other form as a Veela is part bird of prey." The other Marauders nodded in agreement. "We can call her…" she started to say.

"NO!" the Marauders yelled in unison, cutting Luna off.

"I didn't even get to say the perfect name I came up," Luna pouted. Her frown finally went away after Neville tickled her until she smiled.

Hermione shook her head. "We all love you, Luna, but you aren't allowed to give out nicknames," she reminded her friend. "How about we call her Valkyrie?" she suggested.

The boys in the room nodded their heads. "After watching her fight, I think it's a good name. Valkyrie it is," Harry chimed in. "Now we need to decide what we're going to do to the Ravenclaws. Flitwick pulled me aside during our dance lessons to tell me he supported us. He also said that if we get caught, we will be serving extra detentions with him while we go over what we could do better next time," he informed the group.

George pulled the Marauders' notebook out of his book bag. He tapped his wand on the cover and recited, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!" When the letters on the pages rearranged themselves so they would make sense, he started flipping through the pages for ideas. "How about the prank on page number 42? It's supposed to be the answer for everything," he offered.

Fred shook his head. "No, it requires too much deep thought for my tastes," he replied. He took the notebook from his brother's hands and flipped through the pages himself. "Too bad the theoretical one on page 87 takes so much work. The old Marauders never had enough time to test it out. It would be the perfect way to humiliate the Claws and entertain the rest of the Great Hall at the same time. If only we had a house elf to help us," he complained. The room became silent as everyone but Fleur turned to look at Harry.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask him," Harry said hesitantly. He remembered how Dobby had "helped" him during his second year and again when he was spewing fire from his backside in the Forbidden Forest. Feeling somewhat foolish, Harry called out into the thin air, "Dobby, I could use your help."

Dobby appeared in a flash of light, hastily tying his gold curtain braid around his red silk pillowcase. Not sure how he knew, Harry had the feeling that the pillowcase his odd friend was wearing had been put on backwards. "Thank the source of magic! The great Harry Potter has a chore for Dobby," Dobby sighed happily as he nearly collapsed in front of Harry. The only reason he wasn't lying down was that he had both arms wrapped around Harry's legs while he rested his large head on Harry's knees.

Harry frowned when he saw how exhausted Dobby looked. "Dobby, are you feeling alright?" he asked, truly worried for his friend.

"Harry Potter truly is a great wizard to ask about his Dobby. Harry Potter has not given Dobby enough to do lately, so Dobby has been seeing to the needs of the other House Elves in the Comes and Goes room- many, many times a day," Dobby explained.

Fred shook his head in admiration. "Look at that, our little Dobby is a man-slut," he praised.

Hermione glared at Fred. "Technically he would be an elf-slut, but I don't think that's what he meant," she chided him.

Dobby let out a wry chuckle. "No, future Missus Potter, Harry Potter's red haired friend is right. The female House Elves have been seeking out poor, tired Dobby. Since Dobby has no other chores, it's being a House Elf's duty to help other House Elves. Theys has been more stressed out than usual today," he confirmed.

"Sorry I brought it up," Hermione muttered. "Dobby, the reason why Harry called for you is to ask for your help in a prank against the Ravenclaws, minus Luna of course," she stated.

Dobby cocked his head to the side, his long ear almost touching the ground. "The Snakies I understand, but why the stuck up Birdies?" he asked.

"This would be easier if I had brought the Potter Family pensive back with us," Harry complained.

"Why does yous need a pensive, Harry Potter?" Dobby inquired.

"I figured it would be easier to show you my memory than try to explain everything," Harry said. Dobby rolled his huge eyes and reached up one tiny hand and touched Harry's forehead. Harry experienced a flash as if the memory had been played back at super high speed. When it was over, Harry saw Dobby had balled up his other fist in anger.

"Dobby will always do what the great Harry Potter asks with joy, but this time Dobby will take extra pleasure in helping," Dobby informed his master.

Fred and George smiled at each other and motioned for Dobby to come over to their couch. Dobby managed to walk over to them with an slow, bow legged walk. Even though he was a bit chaffed, Dobby thought he was doing pretty well all things considered. Fred opened up the Marauders' notebook and showed the page they were thinking of. Dobby read the page, looked up at Fred, and wiped a tear from his huge eye. "That is beautiful, Harry Potter's real Weasley friends," he told them. With a hopeful look, he begged, "Can Dobby pick out the sheet music, please?"

George patted Dobby on the back. "Of course you can. Our only request is it be something seasonal," he replied.

Dobby nodded so fast his big ears flapped in the wind. "Dobby has just the song in mind," he stated happily.

***Unexpected Animagus***

Students came down to breakfast the next day to find an entertaining diversion had been cast on the magical ceiling. Instead of showing the students and faculty the sky above them, it showed an animated representation of a ski resort. Cartoon versions of the New Marauders wearing Hogwarts jerseys were their names on them frolicked and enjoyed various winter sports. Scorch was making people laugh with his horribly uncoordinated attempt at skiing, while Fade gracefully slid around his legs on a kneazle sized snowboard. Janus and Velma sledded down the mountain on the back of Groot. A new member of the group, a beautiful white eagle wearing a jersey that proclaimed her as "Valkyrie" performed airborne stunts after launching off of the ridiculously high ski jump. Students and faculty alike chuckled as they let themselves be entertained by the cartoons above them not knowing the cartoon was a way to keep anyone from looking at things around them.

The four House tables were decorated to go along with the cheery winter theme. Cute marshmallow snowmen, who waved a happy greeting to the students, were placed every three feet along the center of the tables. Large paper snowflakes served as placemats for each of the students. No one suspected that the placemats at the Ravenclaw table had very intricate and detailed runes drawn on them in invisible ink using a pen Hermione had picked up in a Muggle gift shop. They also had no idea the snowmen on the Ravenclaw table each housed special crystals in their gooey white centers.

When breakfast started to wind down, Professor Flitwick felt the hem of his robe get tugged on slightly. He turned around and saw the eccentric House Elf who had attached himself to Harry Potter's service. Dobby handed him a note and smiled before disappearing. Flitwick read the note and sighed in relief. He had been wondering when the Marauders would get around to punishing his wayward Ravenclaws. Now he knew the time was at hand and they were asking for his help. Glad to play even this small part in teaching his students a bit of humility, he climbed down from his chair and made his way to the podium in front of the staff table. With a flick of her wrist, Professor McGonagall conjured a set of steps so her old friend could be seen behind the podium.

"Good morning students," Flitwick called out with a smile as he looked around at the assembled students from three magical schools. "I have just been informed that my Ravenclaws have put together a little musical number to entertain us as we celebrate this wonderful yule season," he announced. The Ravenclaw students looked around at each other in confusion, having no idea about what he was talking about. "So without ado, I will let Cho Chang and Rodger Davies take things from here," he said. The use of those exact words triggered the compulsion charms woven into the runes on the Ravenclaws' placemats.

The magic took over and Rodger and Cho found themselves standing up and each facing one side of the Ravenclaw table. They pulled out their wands and held them ready like musical conductors, which they were in fact being compelled to perform the duties of. In unison, Rodger and Cho began waving their wands to let their housemates know what the tempo was going to be.

With a flourish, Rodger and Cho pointed their wands at a pair of students who rose and let out farts in the same tone. With that, they began a handbell style flatulence rendition of "The Nutcracker - March of the Toy Soldiers" with each "note" being performed by the expelled gas of two students. Certain chords of the song had enough students passing gas that students at the nearby tables found themselves gagging and their eyes burning. During the fast part of the song, some of the Ravenclaws barely had time to sit down before they had to stand again and break wind. For the final note of the song, Rodger and Cho bent over at the waist and let loose a pair of huge farts that were far too wet sounding to be merely gas. Students who weren't using their hands to hold their noses gave the Ravenclaws a rousing round of applause. The applause caused the compulsion charms to end. Rodger and Cho continued to stand since they didn't want to sit down with their underwear full of a substance just as awful as their behaviors had been the day before.

Professor Dumbledore stood and clapped enthusiastically all the way up to the podium. "25 points to Ravenclaw for entertaining us with a truly impressive flatulence choir, the likes of which hasn't graced this Great Hall since my fifth year as a student. I'm especially impressed since we only managed to perform 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'. Your performance of Tchaikovsky's wonderful song was perfect with the only flaw in your performance being that regrettable last note," he told the students. Dumbledore paused and glanced over the top of his spectacles to look first Rodger and then Cho in the eyes. "I feel I should tell you from my own experience that farts are just like love. If you have to force it, you'll probably just end up with shit," he said, his blue eyes twinkling in mischief.

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