ironic BTS fanfiction // au

basically i always get roasted by my friends for being BTS trash and i lowkey want to write a BTS fanfiction so if i just try make it really ironic maybe i won't be roasted as much

➳in which a white girl moves to South Korea

WARNING: not really that ironic


1. *dirty little secret starts playing in korean*

A/N: yes i wrote this fanfiction to try and be fucking ironic to cover up the fact that i'm un-ironically bts TRASH. so here's the "ironic" fanfiction i wrote with ironic chapter titles and un-ironic chapters.

Chapter 1

Lola's POV

Hello, I'm Lola. It was about a year ago when I got my white koreaboo ass and moved to Korea. Just to clarify the last sentence: I AM A WHITE ASS BITCH. Yeah, not your usual BTS fanfiction.

I had been trying to learn Korean since I was fifteen because K-pop is the shit. I really got the boost to become pretty much fluent in Korean once I actually moved to Korea.

Basically, what happened was that my parents were seriously considering moving to somewhere exotic because why the fuck not, so I figured if we're going to move to a country that speaks a different language, I might as well convince my parents that we should move to Korea.

Though this story is written in English, I can assure you that we're speaking Korean most of the time because the dumb ass author of this story doesn't speak Korean.

Now onto the actual story~

I walked into the classroom heading on over to my assigned seat next to the class pervert, Namjoom. He asks everyone to call him 'Rap Monster' for some reason but it just doesn't catch on. One of the reasons is that he can't rap for shit but mostly because why would anyone call him 'Rap Monster'?

I take a seat next to him. "Hey RapMon." Ok, yes. I may call him by his preferred name sometimes, I mean, he's an okay kid. He's the only other person in the class that can properly speak English so we usually just speak in English to each other because no one knows what the fuck we're saying if we talk fast.

Namjoon gives me a nod in response without saying anything in attempt to look cool. In come Taehyung and Jimin. Important note: I'm pretty much in love with Jimin but I don't talk to him much which is unfortunate. We're barely acquaintances.

Taehyung hates me for some reason; no idea why. I don't really have anything against him but I guess I have to dislike him because he dislikes me. I only really started to notice him when I realised he'd give me death stares at every chance he got. I should probably be worried but he's too adorable to be scared of.

The bell rang just as my friend Jin came running in and slipped onto the chair behind mine like the hot mess he is... hot... mess... hot... Jin is hot. It's a shame that I have a crush on Jimin instead of Jin, though. At least I'm really close with Jin so it'd be easier for things to get spicy between us. Actually, that might be weird since we're friends.

Before I could teasingly make a sarcastic remark on the fact that Jin was almost late, the teacher came in and started rambling on about algebra probably; I wasn't really listening.

The period went by somewhat slowly and then I finally got to go to my next class, English. Yeah, it was a piece of cake. I don't even know why I'm allowed to take it.

I don't actually have any friends in my English class so I just sat where I usually do which is near the front of the class on my own. Unexpectedly, I felt the chair next to mine shift meaning someone was going to sit next to me. How dare they?

I turned around and looked directly at who was sitting in the chair ready to mentally judge them for the next forty minutes when I then saw Jimin looking right at me.

"Sorry, I was hoping you would help me with English this lesson? Since, you know, you're fluent and all." Jimin said.

"Right. I mean uh- yeah, ok." I managed to get out of my mouth.

I spent the rest of the lesson trying to teach Jimin about how certain sentences were said in English. Eventually I got used to him sitting next to me and I wasn't all that nervous anymore.

The teacher went around the class giving us all homework. "Alright class, you may pack up and go." The teacher announced right before the bell went.

"Thanks for helping me. Could I please get your number? I might have to ask you some questions about the homework." Jimin asked.

"Um, sure." I tapped my number into his phone and gave him a quick smile before zooming off.

I saw Jin already sitting on his own in the cafeteria. "Seokjin! A boy just asked for my number!" I cheered as I sat down across from him.

"Shut up! Really? Is he cute?" Jin said with his eyes wide open.

"Fuck yeah he's cute." I said.

"It's a shame you'll be cheating on your 'boyfriend' Jimin, though." Jin teased.

"No I won't." I let him think for a second before he smashed his hands on the table.

"LOLA!" He whisper-shouted. He lent over the table to grab my face and squish it between his hands. "HOW on Earth did you manage to get Jimin to ask for your number."

"He wants me to help him with English." I said before he swiftly dropped his hands from my face and sighed.

"Well then it doesn't count, you foreigner." Jin laughed.

"It still means I get to talk to him more than I do now." I shrugged.

"You're right. This is a level up from quietly admiring him from across the classroom." Jin said.

"Yah! I don't do that!" I whined.

The day went by quickly and soon I was walking home. I walk the same way as that weirdo Taehyung so it's basically just a constant uncomfortable feeling of him glaring at me from the other side of the road. My house is closer to the school than his so I have to deal with him the whole time and I guess he knows where I live.

As I walked home, he was a little bit behind me on the other side of the narrow road, obviously so he could judge while staring at me without getting caught.

I decided to pretend to be texting someone on my phone as an excuse to stop walking so Taehyung would walk ahead of me. Suddenly, I hear Taehyung's footsteps stop right after mine do.

After sending a fake text, I look back at Taehyung who is directly staring at me, not looking away once I made eye contact with him.

"Taehyung! What's your problem?" I yell from across the road.

He stays silent for a moment before finally saying something. "You're the problem! You shouldn't be here!" He yelled back.

"Be where exactly?" I asked.

"In this country! Look around! Do you see any other white people like you?"

So that's what this is about. I rolled my eyes and continued walking.

"Watch out, white girl!" He called out as I walked away. As I got home, I got out my phone and decided to send Jin a message on KakaoTalk.

Lola: fun fact! taehyung has a phobia of white people :)

I put my phone down and began making instant noodles. Soon my phone vibrated.

Jin: really?? lol why

I wrote back to him right away.

Lola: well... i guess it makes sense. the poor boy has lived in korea his whole lifeu... he's probably not used to white people. i'm kind of scared of white people too.

Jin: it's a shame he has to be so closed minded about it, though.

Lola: i'm like T^T just like T^T

Jin: neomuhae, neomuhae!

Lola: ok i gotta go eat instant noodles now and watch a k-drama!! BYE!

Jin: neomuhae!


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