My teenage voCRABulary

This a story and a diary about alomst every teenagers life, teenagers problems and teenagers thoughts. Follow a girl through a story about ups and downs, memories she wanna remember and memories she wanna forget.

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4. Cyber shit


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So, this part you reached is the first serious issue I’m going to tell you about. This time the headline is all about me. And when I say that, I don’t mean that I started bulling or anything. Not at all. It was completely the other way around. I became a victim of cyber bulling. Let me tell you the whole story:

It was a night like everyone else. I was sitting in my room listening to music and reading a book in my bed. My mood had reached an unusual high level and I was really enjoying life. That’s when one of my best friends Eva (also one of the geeks) called me. I answered real fast and smiled so much she almost felt it through the phone. She on the other hand wasn’t smiling at all. The first she thing she said when I answered the phone was:

“Have you checked Facebook lately?”

My heart skipped a beat. I knew something was wrong. Eva’s voice was very unstable and I could hear that she was close to crying. At this point I was sure something had happened to her and I had put on my supportive voice, when she said:

“I think you should check the Facebook group. There are some pictures on there I don’t think you want be there.”

I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds and panic filled my body in a split second. I hurried onto my computer and opened Facebook. There it was. Several pictures of me without bra. It was from the party. They hadn’t forgot about it at all. They just waited a while so that they could throw a bomb and have even more fun with it. Messages kept rolling into my inbox. On Facebook, on normal text even at my email. Messages from boys who asked me to show my body in front of them too. Boys who asked when I was free and how much it would cost. Girls who called me slut, whore and even worse words. Tears began rolling down my face making my shirt wet. I buried my face in my hands and started crying loudly. My mom came rushing into my room. I showed her my computer. She was furious, and I couldn’t at all tell if she was angry with those who put it on Facebook or at me because I had been stupid enough to end on this kind of pictures. There was no doubt about my dad though. He was angry with me. He started yelling at me as soon as he heard about it. He called me irresponsible and childish. I was destroyed. I felt my world crumbling down.

The next couple of days I didn’t come to school. My dad had cooled down and wasn’t yelling at me anymore, now he just gave me his judgmental “You are a disappointment to this family” look. My mom felt bad for me and had been at several meetings with the principle at my school, to tell about the pictures. That didn’t help at all. The boys didn’t get expelled. Not even a day. The principle said that the school couldn’t handle problems outside school and this Facebook group didn’t belong to school, because it was owned by students.

After a while I slowly started adjusting to the thought of coming back to school, but not the first week, that was going to be spend at my house. I wasn’t quite ready for the names and pointed fingers at that time. I threw up (not on purpose) a lot of times that week. Family dinners weren’t exactly as they used to either. My dad was giving me the look and didn’t say a thing to anyone. Not even my mom or my siblings. My siblings were afraid to say something wrong so they just stared at me. My mom at least tried, but it never went that well. So there we were. At the dinner table. No talk. No laughter. No smiles. No jokes. Not a thing. Nothing were as it used to. And there was only me to thank.

But time kept going on and so did I. I decided to be brave, to not care about everyone else’s opinion and judge mental comments. About one week after the leak of the photos I went back to school.

With the company of my best friends I entered the school halls. I made people talk and I for sure started quite some whisper in the corners. A week earlier I would have had a break down at that point, but it wasn’t so that day. I was cold as ice. I enjoyed life as it was and that’s what’s important. 

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