I don't like this feeling


1. I don't like this feeling

It’s a weird feeling… That pressuring feeling in the chest. I don’t exactly know what it comes from, and at the same time I do. It feels like there’s a huge stone lying on my chest, pushing my ribs and making it harder for me to breathe, it makes my heart beat faster. I think it’s trying to save me from this condition, but the only thing that helps is kicking or hitting a wall. Making something else hurt. Not my brain - and not my heart. I’m not the strongest mentally, and crying is one of the things I do best. Making something hurt physically helps mentally. It stops my tears. It makes me angry instead. It makes me feel like the person that made me feel this way, is instead just making me feel pain. It’s easier to bear and helpes me bury this mental pain. 

I don’t like this feeling… I don’t…

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