The Diary of A Vampire Vol. 2

The second diary of a vampire the first one is Dairy of a vampire without the Vol. 2 on it. It had somewhere close to 100 chapters so I started a new one.

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43. Entry 43; Nov 27, 2017

So I forgot lunch and I haven't had a real meal since yesterday at lunch I mean if you can consider McDondals a real meal if not then since the dinner before. I am hungry and everything is gross. I have to work tonight I haven't even started my essay outline for tomorrow and I am so behind on everything. I am going to tell them that I can't work during the week. I need the time to get school work done. Hell, I want to quiet so much. I am so done with this job. I am done with jobs in general. I can't even drive myself to school out of fear that I am going to kill someone. And now I am being made fun of because of it. I keep telling myself thought to smile. If someone is talking and laughing at me behind my back smile like I didn't hear it. Smile like it doesn't hurt me everytime someone makes fun of me for "being different". And every time my smile fades I tell myself to keep smiling even if I have to cut it on my face. I am so done with being this sad little girl that I was when my friend left, when I realized that I lost everything that I cared about, when I was turned, and even before I was turned. I am done with being this sad lonely thing. Living this dumb stupid life that I am just being ignored in. But things will always get better when they hit rock bottom. Of course, it hasn't hit bottom yet but I feel like it will soon. I don't know if I should write this down but I am going to. I am hearing what people think about me. The way they look and the way they smell when they are near me. And of course, the consisted stream of hateful thoughts coming from everyone around me has me questioning life. But I am as stubborn as anyone and I have a vigor for living even if it is not wanted. That and I have yet to find out how to kill a vampire so. Let's just hope I never find that out. Hell even cutting is hardly doing anything. Only blood seems to make my pain go away for some small amount of time. And now that the physical pain has kicked in because lack of blood hurts more than everyone's thoughts. I need to get back to writing that damn essay outline thing. So bye for now I guess. 

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