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Lily is one of many white girls performing in a ballet recital at her school. She is also though the only girl in the school friends with a black girl, inkululeko, meaning freedom. But Lily is not free from her mind and the thoughts she thinks. Not history accurate, just a fiction story. Warning, character comets suicide.

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4. My first kiss

December 6, 1881

​The recital I have to do is in two days.  I don't hate this book, there is too much to write about.  Last night I walked into the Kitchen and stared at a butchers knife.  The numbness was so exhausting.  I asked my Dad about what that was and he told me it was a symptom of insanity.  The knife was so clear, I could not be so tired anymore.  I was in a trance walking towards it as it called me.  If the cook had not walked in on me, I don't know what I would have done.

 

I have a boy friend.  Every time I look at him I get a tingle down my back, it's the only time I feel alive and out of the numbness.  He has not come over lightly, that worries me.  Our first kiss though was amazing.  I had finished crying after the rest of the dance troop had left me alone to go for ice cream with out telling me.  He had sat with me the whole time.  Then we had looked at each other and by sudden impulse we moved towards each other.  Our lips touched and the most magical thing happen.  I was so...secure.

 

Today I ran in Inkululeko.  She was the first Black kid in this school.  I walked up to her and asked, "do you remember that kid on the street that gave you the salve"?

"Your that kid," she responded.

Then we walked to the Ballet room, seeing she was in a leotard.  The troop was not kind to her.  So we ended up talking in the down time we had.  For partners I got stuck with her.  Stuck is not the word.  She is as good as me and I an considered the beast of this school.  Inkululeko​ though can not be in recitals.

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