Shadows

Life gets complicated after the death of Magnus. Especially as the only person who makes Alec feel anything, even if it is only hate, is Clary Fray. However, its not smooth sailing when you're boyfriend and his Parabatai both love you. But, with Jace moving further away, will he push Clary into Alec's arm.

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5. Waking Up

Songs for chapter

Black Magic - Little Mix

One last Time - Ariana Grande

Purple Rain - Prince

Clary's Pov

I couldn't believe how real it had felt. 

How much I had wanted Alec to love me. 

How much Jace's pained face broke my heart.

I lay in bed for a few moments after waking up, hearing the rumble of the kitchen. I began to laugh at myself. Dreams aren't even real. I couldn't imagine really kissing Alec. Besides, hurting Jace like that, is something that I just couldn't do. 

Three heavy bangs on my door startled me into moving. 

"Come on! Breakfast is out!" Izzy shouted through the door, and I shouted back an okay, and pulled on some sweat pants and a tank top, leaving my head as is. 

As I walked into the kitchen the boys were laughing at each other, and Luke and Hodge were here too. Izzy and her mother were having a real conversation with no interruptions, or arguments. 

There was a space beside both Jace and Alec, and though my first instinct was that Alec was the safer option, I couldn't ignore Jace forever. 

I sat down beside him, and kissed his cheek gently. "Good-morning." I smiled as sweetly as I could, hoping that last nights dream was just a fluke, and Alec wasn't really in love with me and Jace wasn't going to leave me. 

"Someone's cheery." Alec noted, "That's what a good nights sleep does, you should try it sometime." I smirk over at him, picking up food from all around the table. "I love hearing you two argue again, it feels like all is good and right with the world." Izzy piped up. 

Everyone was happy. It was as if everyone had woke up and thought about how things used to be, how things should be. 

Jace was holding my hadn't underneath the table, and Izzy and Alec were squabbling. It was such a refreshing site after dull mornings at breakfast's had passed for months. 

"We've got the gala tonight, top dogs from Idris are coming down." Izzy cooed all of a sudden, "I expect you all to be on your best behaviour." Maryse spoke up, and I smiled over at her. "They are progress checking, as well as taking advantage of the free bar." Alec explained.

"I expect every single one of you to be there. Have fun, but not too much. Jace and Alec you will be called upon by the guests, they'll spot you. They will ask you about the every day runnings of the institute." she explained, and I forgot to listen to the rest.

I was busy being collared by Izzy. She had told me she was wearing red, and that meant I couldn't but that was fine. It was fine because Izzy had already chose my dress too. I would be wearing blue. It matched Jace's tie, Alec's tie would be red to match hers. 
"Do you think Alec will be okay? I mean, he's been so good getting out of the house lately, but do you think this is too much?" She whispered to me, and I looked over to him and he was already looking at me, ignoring was Maryse. We both darted our eyes away from the other, "I think he'll be fine." I smiled to her quickly.

"When did you two get so close, huh?" She asked me in a low voice, we were almost whispering but the other conversations were loud enough to cover us. "I don't know. I guess we just really clicked all of a sudden, the night we went to pandemonium." I shrugged, and she shook her head, "Its more than that." She shook her head quickly, "He didn't come out of hiding for me, or for Jace, you're the one who convinced him." Izzy continued.

"Look, I don't know Izzy. I'm just happy he is okay." I tell her and she nods her head slowly, begging for more of an answer than what I have given her. 
"Why does he keep looking at you?" She continued, and I laugh at her, "Because, he knows we are talking about him. He's not stupid." I turn to him and flash him a smile, he half smirks back at me and turns his attention back to his mother. 

Alec's POV

I'm looking at her. I can't help it. I only remember her white skin pressed against mine, and the white dress she wore fading into into nothingness. 
Every time she turns to me and smile, I feel hot, I feel as if she had taken all the strength I have, because I can barely pull my eyes away. "Jace, you'll be escorting Clary, I assume?" My mother spoke, and I looked to Jace, hoping he'd say no. But why would he? Clary had come into the room and kissed him, and I can't be mad for that, but I am. 

"If she'll have me." Jace turned to Clary, who pulled herself away from Izzy. "Always." She muttered and Jace 
placed a kiss on her cheek, to which she threw him a delicate smile. 
"Alec, I hoped you take your sister." My mother continued, "She should be so lucky." I throw her a playful grin, to which she winks at me. "I've always considered myself a very lucky girl, Alec." She teases back. 
"I'll save you a dance." Jace looks over at Izzy, who blows him a kiss. "And what are we supposed to do?" Clary gestures between us. "Are we supposed to dance?" I smirked, "I'd love to see you dance." Jace teases me, "I can teach you." Clary suggests.

"What?" Me and Jace speak at the same time. "No, you don't dance." Luke chuckled, "I can! Remember when you taught me to waltz?" Clary smiles at Luke. "It ended up with you in hospital. With minor concussion." He grins at her, "I've got better. Besides, mom taught me, properly." Clary speaks with a tone of sadness in her voice.

"I'd be honoured to dance with you." I say to her, and she sends a smile my way.

"Well it's going to take a while to do the preparations, Jace, I'll prep you first." My mother told him, and he nodded towards her. "Prep how?" I asked her, "Coach you. Tell you what questions they will be asking, tell you how to answer them." She told me, and Jace almost rolled his eyes, but he knew better.

"We can go and try on dresses." Izzy smiled, "Nothing to revealing, Izzy. It's a Sophisticated event." My mother warned her, and she chuckled. "I'm classy, mother." She paused, "it's Clary we need to worry about." She teased, "Well, something tells me otherwise." our mother almost laughed. Almost.

"I thought you had chosen our dresses?" Clary smiled, "Well if I'm dancing with Jace, I need something more neutral, between red and blue. Maybe that purple dress." Izzy contemplated with herself. 
"Well, if you get to change your dress do I at least get a say in mine?" Clary asked, and Izzy was still thinking. "I suppose it wouldn't kill to let you see the others." Izzy smirked at her.

Within seconds Izzy had pulled Clary away from the table and was giggling about something dress related. Clary looked at me with a face screaming help, but I shook my head and laughed at her. 
"Alec, feel free to do as you wish. I need an hour with of you. Jace, meet me in the office in fifteen." My mother told us, and walked away. 

"I presume we'll have fittings this afternoon too." Jace groaned, "Probably. I hate these events, why can't they go and check on another institute for once." I sighed, and he nodded in agreement. 
"At least the girls get to enjoy their preparations." He continued to complain, "I don't think Clary will enjoy it, Izzy will. She lives for it." I tell him, "Well, either way, we get lectures they get their hair done, doesn't seem that fair." He chuckled, and I laughed with him.

"So, when did you and Clary get all friendly?" He asked me out of no where. "I wouldn't say we were friendly." I retort quickly, "Well, you're not ripping each other's throats out, so that's a good sign." He shrugged with a smile. "I guess I owe her one, or something, she was the reason that I came back to the real world." I tried to explain, "She told me about how down everyone was, and she just didn't stop trying, so I guess I'm being civil." I continue. 

"It's nice. It's great that you two get on. My girlfriend and my parabati, friends. Who'd have thought it would ever happen?" Jace chuckled.
I remembered my dream, and her milky flesh as he said the word friends.
Friends, that's what me and Clary had agreed. And here I was, dreaming about her, in a very none friend kind of way. 
"She isn't that bad, I guess." I shrugged, and brought my coffee to my mouth. 

The way she flung smiles at me from over her shoulder, and the way she teased. Her laugh was drummed into my ear, until I couldn't hear anything else. How was I supposed to see her as a friend? When she was the only one who made me feel anything. Magnus had told me to be happy, but, how could I trust a dream?

"You're in some deep thought there, buddy."  Jace stood up and threw his dishes into the sink, and patted my back. "I'm going to get ready for this so called, 'preparation'" Jace had complained once more. 
"I'll see you later." I told him, and with that he left. 

I was left to in a state of confusion. About my feelings for Clary Fray. You can't love someone after three days of communication. It's not love, it's not wanting to be alone. Besides, all she has done is be a friend. Nothing more. As. I've been dreaming about her, she's been kind and considerate. 
Clary didn't even want me back, she wanted me so Jace would be happy.
But, even when that didn't work, she still stuck beside me. Like.  A glue stick.

Clary's Pov

"What about this one?" I twirl in a light blue dress, and Izzy shakes her head. "I think you should just wear the red one." she tells me, and I look to it. 

"Well, it is beautiful." I walk over to it and run my hand over it. 

It's long. It's tight, and its split down the leg. 

"Imagine, you, with curls, and fiery red eyes. You'll have all eyes on you." she tells me as she looks through the other colours. 

"I think the purple one will look good on you." I smiled over to her, and she lushes over it and nods. "I think you're right." she flicks her hair over to me. 

"So, girl talk time." Izzy cooed and pulled me onto the bed. "On a serious level, what's going on with you and Alec?" she asked me, and I laugh at her, "What do you mean, what's going on?"

And she cocks her head as if to say you know what I am talking about.

"We literally went out together once, and that was because you and Jace were busy." I explain. "I don't mean that. I mean, not wanting to kill each other, all those foreboding looks." she smirks at me. 

"What are you suggesting?" I am shocked to even think about what she is telling me. "I think he's into you." she shakes her head in laughter, "What even makes you think that? He's grieving, he needs a friend." I try and defend the blossoming friendship. 

"It's not like it makes a difference anyway, you're with Jace." she shrugged, and I nodded slowly, "That, I am." I smiled at her, slightly forced, but a smile none the less. 

Izzy's Pov

I knew he liked her before he even told me. 

Maybe, before he knew himself. 

I could see it in his eyes, the way he was watching her movements. 

It's the same way Jace used to watch them.

If she was the sun, then those two were the children seeing it set for the first time. 

If she was the moon, then those two looked at her light she was the only light in the darkness. 

And everyone said that: There was no reason not to follow your heart. 

But, Alec, he had a huge reason. 

It would always hurt to him to know the way she looked at him, was the way she had looked at Jace. 

But the look between the two, did awfully strange things to their defences. 

 

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