Life gets complicated after the death of Magnus. Especially as the only person who makes Alec feel anything, even if it is only hate, is Clary Fray. However, its not smooth sailing when you're boyfriend and his Parabatai both love you. But, with Jace moving further away, will he push Clary into Alec's arm.


1. Normal

Songs for Chapter


A Thousand Years – Christina Perri

Riptide – Vance Joy

Warrior – Demi Lovato

Another Love – Tom Odell


Clary’s Pov


“Alec hasn’t left his room in weeks.” Jace sighed over breakfast, “He’s hurting, Jace.” Isabelle spoke over her cornflakes. “I know, but I feel like we should do something for him, you know?” Jace spoke hopefully.

“Jace, he’s having a hard time. He loved Magnus, and now he is all alone.” I tried to comfort him with a smile.

“No, there has to be something we can do. Maybe we could all go on a mission together, he hasn’t trained in months, he needs to get out of this slump.” Jace was so adamant that Alec wanted help.

“Jace, I know you can feel his pain, that’s part of your bond, but he needs to do this alone.” Izzy told him, and Jace huffed and rolled his eyes in the opposite direction.


“Jace, you’re needed in the office.” Luke announced as he walked into the room, “Some kind of important business in Idris.” He explained. Jace ignored him and walked away from us.

“Is he okay?” Luke asked, and we all sighed in synchrony. “He’s beat up that Alec doesn’t want to talk to anyone.” Izzy explained.

“Alec just needs time, and probably someone to talk to about it, but mainly time.” Luke touched my shoulder.


I was never Alec’s biggest fan, and he wasn’t mine. But, we looked out for each other, everyone did. I wanted nothing more than for Magnus to come back, he’d saved our lives so many times, and we never really did thank him.

Alec has spent the past two months grieving for Magnus.

The first two weeks he was find, he had his walls up. Alec didn’t even cry.

Then after the funeral he realised that it was over. His love with Magnus, was as cold as he was. Alec realised that he was truly alone, and he’d never be lucky enough to have that same love, twice.

Then he’d locked himself away, he came out only for the briefing sessions. On missions, he kept himself either way out in front, or at the back of the pack.

When he did train, it was late at night when everyone was asleep, I only know because that’s when I usually do it, practicing alone so I didn’t always fall on my face in the real training sessions.


It hurt Jace too.

Jace only wanted Alec to be ok. Not happy, he didn’t expect that, he just wanted to know that Alec’s heart was beating a steady rate, and his lungs were still moving.

Jace was getting bitter. Six weeks since he and his parabatai had a conversation had made him miserable, and he’d been distancing himself from me and everyone else, trying to concoct ways of getting Alec’s attention.

They all failed.

Jace was just as alone as Alec was, but neither could talk to the other without remember the pain that brought them to this point.

Sweet Magnus, who was now rotting away, or a dancing spirit in the sky holding a cocktail.


I’d taken it upon myself to find a way to reach out to Alec, I wanted everyone to be happy again. I wanted to hear Izzy teasing Alec, and hear him mumbling back. I wanted Jace and Alec to fool around together again. I wanted Alec to argue with me. I needed things to be normal.

So, I’d been calling on him every day, with endless offers of drinks, food, anything he could want.


Alec’s answer was always no.

Sometimes he’d change it up a little with: Go Away, Clary!

And, those were his good days.


Today was a new day, and maybe it was worth trying again.

I’d gotten dress in a blue shirt, and let my orange locks fall, my black jeans and boots were my casual attire.

I banged on his door, heavier than the weeks before.

I heard footsteps inside, and the door opened, and Alec was shirtless.

“Good Morning, Fray.” He muttered to me, “Hello, again.” I smiled at him, and he shook his head at me and went to shut the door, but I shoved my foot in the way.

I pushed the door open and walked inside.


Alec’s room was just as dark as I had expected it to be, if not darker.

Red curtains were covering the tall windows, so I throw them open.

“You can’t stay in here forever.” I told him, and he muttered something under his breath. “You’ve hid from the real world long enough.” I explained.

“Nothing functions normally without you.” I carried on, and ruffle through his draws and throw him a clean T-Shirt.

“Clary, you can’t just barge in here.” He furrows his brows at me, and I turn to him.


“Look, Alec. I get it. When Simon died, I didn’t think anything would be okay again, but it was. And things will be okay without Magnus.” I reached for him, and he turned away from me.

“Look, I’m not here just for you. Jace needs his Parabatai. I know you need him too. Izzy needs her big brother, and I’ve had no one to challenge my sass with since you retreated into yourself.” I tried so hard to convince.

“Why hasn’t Jace come to see me, huh?” Alec turned back to me, “He doesn’t think you want him too. Jace can feel all your pain and doesn’t know how to help you, he’s not been the same.” I tell him, and he grunted in frustration.


“What time is training?” Alec asked me, and I let a grin grow across my face. “Thirty-minutes.” I smiled up at him, “Take that goofy look off your face, I’ll go for Jace.” He pulled the shirt over his head, and I almost hugged him.

“For Jace.” I smiled and he nodded back at me. “If I knew telling you about Jace would make you come outside, I’d have told you weeks ago.” I tried to joke, but he just looked at me with a straight face.

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave, I’ll see you in thirty.” I give him a quick thumb up before tumbling out of the room.


I waited smiling like an idiot between Izzy and Jace.

“Somethings got you peachy.” Izzy noted, “Just wait.” I grinned, and tapped my feet softly.

Our instructor began to speak, and then a cough interrupted Jace and Izzy’s personal war, because they were each other’s best competition.

“Room for me?” Alec spoke, and husk in his voice. “Alec?” Izzy grinned, and almost pounced on him with joy. Jace was more reluctant. Jace didn’t face Alec at first, and kept his face turned away.

“Jace.” Alec called him, and he slowly turned to face him, “I’m sorry.” He muttered, and Jace shook his head. “Don’t ever shut me out like that again.” Jace seethed at him, before wrapping his arms around his Parabatai.


“How’d you, do it?” Izzy asked me as the two boys fought, “Just a bit of will. I’ve been going to him every morning for three weeks, and this morning I told him Jace needed him.” I explained, “You’ve been trying this whole time?” she offered me kind smile, and then wrapped her arms around me.

“You’re one of the good ones, Clary.” Izzy held me tightly.

Izzy soon let go, and clapped her hands to make an announcement.

“In honour of Alec’s return, I propose, we all go out tonight.” She placed a hand on her hip, and flicked her hair with the other.

“I’m not too sure that’s a good idea, Izzy. Alec isn’t ready for that.” Jace stepped in to be Alec’s voice. “Clary, what do you think?” Alec asked me, and I shake my head in disbelief.


Did Alec just ask for my opinion?

I must have misheard.

“Fray?” Alec insisted, “Oh, well, it would be good to get out. The four of us haven’t been out in a long time.” I finished, and Alec nodded.

“Then let’s go. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Alec convinced himself, and I was in total shock about his change in character.

“Alec, don’t feel like you have too. This is enough.” Jace turned to him. “I can’t hide forever, Jace.” Alec sighed, and ran fingers through his hair, and was sure the next time he spoke.

“Let’s go. Tonight. Pandemonium.” Alec almost smiled, “Pandemonium?” Izzy asked in shock, he nodded quickly. “Someone, is obviously feeling a lot better. I love it!” Izzy cooed.


Soon enough, Izzy ran to find the shortest dress she could. Alec took himself away for food, and a shower. Leaving me alone with Jace.

“Clary, what was that?” Jace frowned at me, “What? I thought you’d be happy.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Alec’s not ready, I can feel it. He just doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.” Jace sighed, “Jace, if he says he is ok-” I was interrupted, “You don’t know him like me, Clary!” Jace almost shouted at me.

“I’m going to go and get ready.” I turn on my heels, and he groans in frustration. “I didn’t mean to yell, Clary.” He shouted to me, and I face him for a moment.

“It’s fine.” I sighed, and carry on in my tracks.


Tonight, I was going to party. I was going to make this normal. I wanted to get drunk with Izzy, and maybe fight with Alec. I didn’t want to see Jace.

Things were rocky.

We were constantly battling against waves, and unfortunately, we were drowning.

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