jack and the bean stalk re vamp

NOT THE FAIRY TALE VERSION YOU HAVE HEARD

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1. Jack and the three bullets

Jack and the Beanstalk

Once upon a time, there was an Ogre of a man called jack, nearly 7 foot tall riddled with scars on his bald round head, stern faced, muscles on muscles a giant walking steroid on legs.
Each day he robbed, stole, cheated and beat money from people and he was not shy to kill either! He was an underworld debt collector driven by greed but also a bitter hatred for the notorious cigar gang; They were not given that name for thier love of cuban tobacco oh no they had earned the name from removing the genatalia from the male victims with a cigar cutter!
Jack had been a victim to them from a young age and craved vengenace on a level unrivalled in vilolence and aggression.
Then one day after a long car chase with a cigar gang member into a deserted warehouse here Jack removed his prey through the windscreen of the now smouldering, crumpled blown out car. Jack's victim , terrified pouring with sweat and pissing claret from numerous glass wounds, begged for mercy he shouted "Jack you will be damend to hell For all your sins" Jack stared at his victim silently whilst holding him by the routes of his blooded tangled hair, Change your ways Jack its the only way. I give you these three bullets plant them deep in the belly of Brian the butcher and seek redemption said the gang member. Brian the buthcer was the head of the cigars and Jack's next point of call.
Jack looked upon his victim without a muscle moving in his face or a blink of an eye and opened the barrels of his twin barrelled sawn off shot gun in the the face of his catch leaving his skull and brain spread wide open like a canyon, lava of molton blood splashed all over Jack's face and the warehouse floor.
But the three bullets the hood had held fell from his grip onto the blood splattered floor, Jack eyed the bullets, tossing the hood to the side, he picked them up curiously. He noticed how small and pitiful they were he roared and laughed i will plant these three beans in the belly of Brian the Butcher the man who destroyed my world but these beans will not save my soul!
Eventually Jack caught up with the Butcher and planted the three bean like bullets deep into the belly of his nemesis with the help of a magnum 44 hand gun smoke still trickling from the barrel as Jack stood over his victim his feet sliding and squelching in the Butchers intestines and entrails which now added an extra dimension to the coloured carpet.
The corpse's body began to jerk and tremble as three roots began to sprout from the innards of the now butchered Brian. They sprang out wrapping and entangling Jack, great vines began to stretch out along the floor and up the walls, pushing the roof off the mansion house where Jack had come to wreak his vengeance, Jack reached for his pocket knife and hacked hopelessly at the vines of this giant Bean sprout that now shot him high up into the sky at speed "what the fuck" Jack roared Jack managed to blast off a few rounds rounds before he lost a grip of his hand gun and vanished into the thick clouds that were now below him, higher and higher the bean sprout took him, fear was in Jacks eyes for the first time since being a small child. At last the bean sprout came to a stop above the clouds and released Jack suddenly. But to Jacks suprise he did not fall straight through but stood on some invisible path way in the mist, in  the distance Jack could make out a giant house and even from this distance appeared out of shape and gigantic, suddenly there was a puff of smoke and a figure appeared out of the haze it couldnt be? it was the hood whose brains Jack had decorated the warehouse with only hours before!
"Hello Jack" the man said i am your fairy GODFATHER, but more than that your real father, Jack stared speechless and in disbelif, he had only been a toddler when his parents were brutally murdered in front of him by the cigar gang and himself left scared and maimed for life, no images remain of his parents but Jack could see the resemblance his fairy godfather had.
Jack my son you have lived your life as an evil man a giant of the underworld now you must suffer the same fate at the mercy of a giant, to find redemption fate awaits you in there, the godfather pointed to the gigantic mansion house, Jack followed his gaze and when he turned back, his father had left him again. Jack stood for sometime confused, baffled and bewildered by the events that had just taken place. He slowly started to walk along the invisible path until he reached the humungous giant golden gates. They were at least four times the size of the normal gates of the most prestigious houses he had seen, Jack instantly reached for his hand gun for protection then remebering it had fallen from his hand he mumbled under his breath "dick" he easily slipped through the bars of the gate, walking up a gravel path was more like rock climbing the pebbles were like rocks.
Feeling anxious, nervous on edge Jacks eye's flicked from side to side watching for any would be assailants, he clambered up some steps, then grasping hold of some ivy on the side of this huge structure he pulled himself up to a window ledge, the window was wide open and Jack poked his head up over the silll, his eyes almost popped out his head because directly in front of him was the face of a giant with bright bleached teeth and a fake tan gold chains hung from his wrists and neck, knuckles displaying sovereign bling, her wore a Ralph lauren suit and his hair was slick and immaculate. Jack then noticed the huge pile of white powder that was between him and the miami vice giant! The giant began to rack up lines of the white powder. "fuck me i am dreaming Jack thought no fucking way that's cocaine this shit aint happening"
The giant finished racking up the lines and rolled a giant news paper, the evening troll. He rammed it up his left cave like nostril then bellowed fee fi fo thumb i smell the blood of an englishman then snorted along line of the potent stimulant he inhaled so hard it blew Jack off his feet and sucked him through the open window across the desk and straight up the rolled up newspaper "holy fucking shiiiiittttttt" Jack screamed! comic fear on Jacks face as he stared at the forth coming nostril in despair!!!

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