LOST (Love, Hope, Lost Trust)

I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. I don't know what happened to me. The only thing I do know is the fact that I woke up in a small room to the sound of someone trying to break the door down. This is the story about how I learn the true reasons of becoming lost in my own world. I learned to love. I hoped for safety. I lost my way and I trusted nobody.

Updated from the original that was written April - June 2014.


1. Suffering


“Is anybody there?!” My eyes snap open, shooting rapidly around the confined space I lay within. Bar the thin slice of streaming light creeping in through the crack under the heavy door, not a single speck of dust can be seen in the black void before me. I struggle to lift my pounding head off the concrete floor.


“Ah!” An ear-piercing crack spirals its way up my spine. I crash back onto the cold, hard ground. My body reeking in the most unbearable, excruciating and agonising pain! What happened to me?! Where am I?! How did I get here? What the heck did I do to make my bones break beneath my weight and my head throb in… in… disorientation?!


And I wish that impossibly loud intruder would stop trying to kick the door in! Or they! Whoever it is! My head is absolutely killing me and I need to get out of here!

“I know you’re in there!” Once again, the sound of a young man’s voice is muffled by the sound of other men scuffling and their own hushed voices. Using the jagged wall beside and behind me, I gather what little energy I have left to try and drag myself back up to my sore feet. To try and ignore the paralyzing pain that’s freezing my legs in place!

But just as I was ready to stand firmly on my own two feet, another spark of electricity shoots up the right side of my leg and I tumble back to the ground. An ear-piercing scream providing me with my only source of pain-relief.

Why do these bones keep breaking? How did I get like this? What the heck is wrong with me?!

“On three!” The young, slick voice calls the accompanying men to order. “One… Two… Three!”

The door comes crashing down only inches away from my fragile feet. Sunlight bursts into the empty space before it’s blocked by the three figures looming over me. Two of the men rush to my side and assess the damages while the third remains frozen in the doorway. His eyes aghast with the bloody sight of me. Aghast with the silent words escaping my empty lips. The silent thoughts I’ve been asking myself ever since I woke up in this small space.

“Don’t worry, Miss, try not to say anything. Keep calm. We’ll get you out of here as soon as we can!” One of the men console as they both kneel on either side of me before heaving both my arms over their bare shoulders to hoist me up to my bare feet. And although I know full well that the men are trying to be soft and gentle, it feels as though they’re ferociously forcing me out of the narrow doorway!

Yet still my head is reeling through the possibilities of how I ended up in a small shack in the middle of the woods!

Before I can utter any one of my many, many spiralling questions aloud, the unsteady sensation of a swinging ship swamps my mind. Each sympathetic face gazing down on me becomes a dizzying blur while a knot churns down in the depth of my core. All I can do is watch as their lips form the muffled sounds filtering their way through my eardrums.

Why are they all staring at me like that? What are they saying? Why aren’t they doing anything?! Can’t they see I’m in pain?!

And just like that, it’s as if a switch goes off. Every fibre of my being, every cell in my core and every bone in my body calms down to a soft and soothing hum. Then the question I’ve been longing for the answer to escapes the lips of the boy before me.

“Who is she?”

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