Please don't be my soulmate.

I live in a world where everyone has a soulmate. but finding that soulmate is hard. So many just settle with finding someone and fall in love. But some, are lucky and find theirs.
I found mine.
I don’t know if I will call myself lucky, mine is apparently A painter that is known from playing around.
Will he be able to stop now that he has me? Will he even have me? and, do I even want him?


4. Chapter 4

~~I feel the glare from everybody when I walk through the hall from my last class, and this is exactly what I feared. all day people have been looking weird at me, whispering.
Some even pointed like I was some kind of mysterious alien that had face-planted in front of them.
everybody think I have gotten a sugar daddy, how I know? Because some don’t stop at the staring and pointing. some actually come up to me and ask what the deal is about, and if I really am his soulmate. and as the stupid girl I am, I just come up with some lame excuse and runs away.
my math teacher even hold be back from class telling me how dangerous it could be dating such an older man! How embarrassing can it get?
what I need is a warm bath and watch some tv in my hoodie and some ice-cream to get over this day. But if god himself has taken it upon himself to ruin my life is Liam standing there in front of the gates once again, but this time only himself, and how I know even though there is no screaming fans or hoarder of people looking at him? I must admit I got no idea, but I do know it's him, that stand there with his coat flipped up and that big hat that shall hide his face.
must be a soulmate thing.
call me evil, call me a bitch, but I did actually try to walk past him like I didn’t recognize him.
but I wasn’t in disguise so of course he recognized me. I feel a presence of someone following me, and know without looking back it's him. The urge to just run like he was the devil, sound very appealing right now. But then again, my mom has taught me to be nice, and he did come without the glamour this time. So instead I stop up in front of the flower store, acting like I'm looking at some red roses. maybe I should by some for mom, she likes roses just like me I think looking at all the different colors you can get them with. Don’t judge, I'm a simple girl, that likes roses.
they are so classic, but there is still so many variations of them.
when he gets up on my side he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at the roses too.
nervous I start to fiddle with my ring, not sure what is going on, didn't he follow me to talk to me? maybe telling me he have given up and will leave me alone?
he start to fiddle with something under one of the sleeves to its coat, and I realize he is just as
Unsure as I am.
normally present himself, confidently, and what I would call sligthley sensual, cause he does something’s, I'm not even sure he know off himself. he as a way with looking at your lips, liking the upper lip of his own like he want to grab you and kiss you. he looks straight into your eyes, making you either stare back into his ice blue or look away from embarrassment, cause it's like he looks into your soul, if you have eye contact long enough, you feel like you're naked when you around him.
the smirk he sometimes makes, when he know he caught you in a corner, or feel like things going his way,  or he simply wants to make a impression on someone. Confident, sensual, manly.
a smirk that will make you either smile honored it is pointed at your or make you feel like a fool.
it's clear he is a older man, by the way he moves and stand, that he knows what he is, and he knows he's attractive, but I have also seen him on tv to gathering when he is humble, formal.
a gentleman, always take a family member with him, mostly his mom or grandma. he is a man, that is classy, and very comfortable with himself, so seeing him so unsure, is rather, weird. and when have I catch up on all this? I think surprised over how much I actually have picked up on him, by being with him this short time.
do I actually like him? or am I just observant? I have liked him for his art many years now, and followed up on him, when they written about him or he has been on tv for some new movie or art.
Have I just catch that over the years?
,, I am so sorry for the last couple of days, Alice. it's clear I have gone at this topic the completely wrong way” he states suddenly saying something, but still not looking at me “ it's because I'm not sure what direction I shall use to learn to know you, cause that’s all I want. I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want. you're a young woman with a whole future in front of you, and I don’t want you to feel like you can't go out and see the world because of me. “ he finally looks at me, and I can't say I wasn’t surprised. That he actually kind of sees my worry, that I am too young to settle down, and how hard I have it with him being so much older than me.
,, I am sorry too, I could have handled things a lot better, and not be so harsh on you, we are both new at this” I admit, smiling shy to him, he gives me a half smile.
,, Alice, I have years of experience, you just begun, all what I know and have learned have come to be over years, years you have just begun on. I don’t say you are childlike, but we will see some things differently cause of age difference and that I may have some experience places you don’t, cause of me being so much older.” he laughs softly like he can't believe what he is saying “ I don’t want you to miss out on anything, all the wonders and thing you will see and learn while growing into a woman. what I ask for, is that I am allowed to be there while you do it, not as a boyfriend or soulmate, cause as I say I don’t want you to miss anything by being bounded to me. but as a friend” he says putting his hands in his pockets looking down on his shoes like he's scared I will reject him.
but he is…. mature about it, more mature than I am.
,, a friend sound nice, I'm sorry I'm probably not the kind of girl you hoped your soulmate would be. you probably hoped it was a mature woman, and not a immature teenager like me” I mumble fiddling with my ring once again. he laughs like the mere idea is funny to him.
,, I'm not disappointed, being soulmate is just not meeting each other and fall in love right away, love takes time and neutering. it just don’t happen like they say in class, sure you feel some kind of attraction to each other, but it takes time to make it be love. I know many soulmate that is just friends.” surprised I look at him, school always make it sound like it loves at first look. “  some find it quickly, others it takes time, especially with a difference in age like ours. and cases like ours where the three steps actually don’t happen, right away … and some actually never happens all three too, some only goes through some of the steps. and sometimes in the sad cases is it only the one of the two. There is so much more to it, than they make it out to be. Some just remains close friends, cause they can't see themselves as lovers” while he tells me all this we have started heading down the road. he tells me about this one friend that found his soulmate to be a  friends little daughter on 5 and he was in his thirties, so he does of course don’t see her as love potential, but wants to be there for her, as a brother or friend, whatever she needs.
it actually makes me more relived hearing all this, hearing I'm not the only one it have happened to with the 3 steps not coming at once. there is so few that actually find theirs cause they can be in another country than you are. so I didn't know all this, but of course Liam know, he is older, have seen the world. but hearing it may never come, do I want that? or do I actually someday want to fall in love with Liam? as he said some remains friends, and he don’t want to push me into something I'm not comfortable with, so he's fine starting as friends. making me realize how kind he actually is.
not many would have been so patient when it comes to something as big as finding their soulmate. so many things can I be scared about, but at least I don’t have to fear I got a doucebag of an soulmate.

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