Ever Since New York

"I've been praying, I never did before.... Understand I'm talking to the walls... And I've been praying ever since New York."

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7. Keeping A Secret

Yes, the distance between us was difficult, but we managed. We spent most nights on the phone with each other, then we would text throughout the day. If she was on her lunch break, then she’d call. Vanessa was an Assistant Editor for a book publishing company in New York. She went to NYU.

She said she was born and raised in Seattle but moved to New York to attend college. Since then, she stayed and haven’t left since. She talked about how differently living in New York was compared to Seattle. She remembered the first difference was the weather.

Though, she added on to the fact, like Seattle, that New York was a large city. She loved the adventures of a big city lifestyle. I think it suited her. “Well, you’d certainly love London, Paris, and any large city you can imagine traveling to.” I told her on the phone during our conversations.

“Oh, wouldn’t you love to take me to one of those places you’ve listed Mr. Styles.” I could tell she was both serious and joking at the same time. The conversations with her were endless. On the weekends, we’d talk for hours on end. Sure the time would fly by, but it would feel like no time has passed at all.

She knew how to have fun as much as I. I was completed mesmerized by the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on. Guess I couldn’t have been more lucky to have met her, only wishing that being her boyfriend was true. I suggested her to come visit me. “Then I could show you around my part of the town.” I added. She told me that she would like that, a lot.

The guys would often tease me about the two of us. I didn’t care. I was starting to fall for her, even though I’ve only gotten to know what she’s like in these few short weeks. I had never gotten around to asking her to actually her being my girlfriend. It wouldn’t hurt to ask her. Though, it would be hard to keep on flying back and forth between here and New York.

I’m only anticipating the next time the guys and I go on tour. To be honest, I don’t think I could wait that long. If I had the right to be a bit selfish, this was that moment. I wanted Vanessa here with me, staying at my flat. Then, she’d be farther away from her parents. I didn’t want to take her far away from them. I knew how much she cared and loved her parents. I might as well let her decide on what she would want to do.

I hardly had anyone over at the flat, except for the guys and my family. Other than that, I was on my own. I thought about what it’d be like living with Vanessa. It was definitely a nice picture to think about. I should just ask her. I couldn’t hesitate any longer.

The guys and I were back in the studio to record our songs for our newest album. The sound on this one was definitely a bit different than the previous one, but it still appealed to a mature audience. We had a short break, which gave me the opportune time to call Vanessa. It had been almost a month since my visit to New York. I walked out of the room while the guys stayed inside to listen to the recording.

I took out my phone and called Vanessa. Unlike before, she wasn’t answering. She could be at work. I’ll call her back later. We finished up our session before heading home. We had all agreed to meet at the pub. “You coming?” asked Louis. I said that I was going to try to call Vanessa again. The guys said they’ll see me inside before heading in. Again, I called her number. She didn’t answer. 

I didn’t know what was going on, and so I decided to shrug it off before heading inside. I had a drink or two with the guys until I felt my phone ring in my pocket. I went outside to answer. “Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t been picking up.” said Vanessa. “I’ve been busy with work.”

“On a Friday?”

“Yeah. Why did you call?"

“It’s nothing. I just… I wanted to know how you were doing.”

“Well, I have to go. I have company over. Bye.” It was then she hung up. Company over? What exactly did that mean? I put my phone into my pocket and joined the guys. Liam was the first to see my reaction, not the first to ask me about it. Niall asked what was wrong. I told him it was nothing. Louis seemed to have an idea, but kept his mouth shut. Something was going on that I didn’t know about.

The thing about long distance was we were going to eventually meet someone else. I mean I wasn’t exactly her boyfriend, so why was I feeling like this? There wasn’t anyone to be jealous of. She didn’t mention a guy, or was there a possibility one existed? After all, I wasn’t sure if she felt the same way about me. Throughout the rest of the night, the feeling didn’t leave. It stayed. Now, if only I can find a way to find out who she’s been talking with.

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