Dear Sarah

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25. You were just online yet you didn't read this painstaking journal

Dear Sarah,

I'm using my brother's laptop right now and I have little time, so I will attempt to keep this short. I'm doubting you will ever even come across this journal now. If you had seen it, the title may have driven you in out of curiosity. Perhaps it may not. 

An update on the fact that I'm gay: I unwillingly came out to my mom, so that was amazing (again, I wish I could show my sarcasm because there is a lot of it). I mouthed off to my parents, so they took both my phone and my drums from me until further notice. I feared my dad was going to look through my phone, as he always does, and eventually find the people I am subscribed to on YouTube. They would have been a dead giveaway to my sexuality, and I did not intend for my parents to find out that way. So, I said to them, "There are things on there that might give away something about myself that I'm not ready for you to know." Damn I'm stupid. Of course then they wanted to know what exactly I didn't want them to see. My dad didn't believe me that it wasn't anything bad. He thought I was lying to keep them from finding something horrible and whatnot. Luckily, my mom believed me. She worried, though, and the next day we went on a drive. First she got me a drink, which reminded me of when detectives try to gain the trust of those they interrogate. She told me I had to tell her what was going on. She said that for over an hour before finally I wrote, "I am gay," on a scrap piece of paper. Still, after writing this, my mom had to pry the paper out of my hands. She didn't care what the hell I was, and I hadn't been worried about that. I'm not sure why it was so difficult for me to tell her, as she is the most Liberal person I know, probably only beating out myself. Last night, though, she asked if I was comfortable at the same Catholic school for two more years. I told her it was fine, as people don't speak about their opposition to gay marriage all too much. Not everyone is all too against it anyways. 

However, there is a teacher who has to leave for that very reason. She recently discovered that she does in fact like women, and since each teacher must sign a contract stating they will stand against gay marriage, she decided to leave. Sad, as I was really looking forward to having her. Everyone loved her, and everyone is sad to see her go.

This is all I have time for, but thanks for the read. Again, I'm not sure when or if I will write again. I only came on today because I got a notification that you replied to a comment of mine. I'm going to go reply to that comment now, and maybe you will be reading this in no time. ;)

 

june second

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