Dear Sarah

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5. I yelled at my brother this morning because I miss him too much

This one I'm sure you've heard, as One Direction did a cover of this, but didn't really do justice to the original. Sure, I was a pre-teen at the time obsessed with them, but I've come to appreciate other music since.

"One Way or Another" by Blondie

 

Dear Sarah,

There are much too many touchy subjects in this world. The question of human rights and that of another species. What are we to do, as citizens who don't even have the power to vote? What am I to do? I take out everything I know onto what I do not know. What I do not know is vast and what I do know is vast. What I know is I miss things more than I should. I miss my twin, I miss my brother, I miss the friends I lost on my account, I miss laughter, I miss a steady sense of happiness. I miss.

My brother is not often home. He is off to college next year, but it feels as if he has already left me. We used to be close. Even before my sister was born, we would be building Legos in his room all day long. He was my best friend. Often things seemed to threaten that. First, came the two boys from down the street that he seemed to favor. I remember being with him in his room, when those boys would come knocking to steal him away. And he would go, and I would stay. Soon then, he would stay with me and we would keep with those Legos. And later, we became very fond of trying to destroy each other in multiple games on the Wii. We spent all of our time together, whether at home, at our grandma's, or the babysitter's. Our bond was solidified, but that again would soon change. The Xbox 360 came out. Funny how a gaming device can replace me. Still, it did. He spent all of his time on it, playing with his friends rather than me. Soon, he would let me play with him, once I was old enough. We had fun again, and again our bond grew. But soon, he matured too quick and I stayed three years behind. He began playing the Xbox with his friends exclusively. If I would simply open his door for any reason he would yell for me to leave. Harsh, I thought. Oh but he was a new teenager. Should I have expected different?

This time, however, his new replacement stings more. This time, my sweet, yet asshole older brother is in love; as much in love as a blinded eighteen year old boy can be. He's had girlfriends before, but never before has he spent this much time with one of them. He would go on dates, every now and then, but this is different. He began as her ride to work (they worked together) until recently where she quit. They spend all their free time together, and they're not even technically dating. She says she's "not ready." In my opinion, she doesn't want to lose her ride. He drives her everywhere and it is beyond annoying. He cares more about her than me and hell I'm jealous. He's my brother and I'm losing him to some girl. He's almost all I had left and he's just leaving me to fend dangers on my own.

And so, I yelled at him. He's selfish, arrogant, and completely unaware of anything happening in my life, but he's my brother. I hate dealing with him, and he hates dealing with me more, but somehow we manage to get along. Sometimes he's the reason I want to live, and other reasons he's my downfall. Funny how that works. I find myself saying that; "funny how that works." The world is a marvel, it is.

This is shorter than most, but I think I'd like to end it here. I don't really like talking about my brother. I never told you how much he did mean to me. I never told you much. He is my brother, and I miss him. You were my friend, and

 

:))

 

may third

 

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